DH got drunk with my daughter(his stepdaughter) and her friend

Very recent studies have demonstrated that it's not "safer" to have tweens/teenagers drink at home.

In fact, a highly publicised study just proved that the UK's practice of doing just this results in the worst outcomes when it comes to future binging and other undesirable behaviours.

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/e8fb3ec6-ec21-11e8-8888-d940336e3709?shareToken=e14f24fc21cf8cbbb351bc01125d29cb

So what are you going to do?

So now you know, what are you doing about it?

i was not expecting him to get drunk with them and allow my daughter to drink two bottles of alcohol without saying a thing

All sorts of wrong here from him, and if i were you OP i'd be doing a bit of introspection on my own opinions around appropriate behaviour at sleepovers and my attitude to alcohol.

So many things could have gone wrong above and beyond what has happened already.

Atrocious parenting here from you OP. Let alone this bloke.

Your husband decided to gatecrash a young teen sleepover, get pissed and discuss paedophilia amongst other controversial topics?

No wonder you feel dodgy about it, I would too.

He sounds like a creepy step dad who thinks young girls fawn all over him because he's just so cool and not like other parents.

I wouldn't be able to look at him the same again.

Are you seriously comparing the two scenarios?

I think the drinking was fine aslong as they were close to 16 and he wasn't like falling over drunk, but the topics of conversation is somewhat questionable. Did the topics come from him, it them? I used to go to the pub with my Dad at 16.

Fuck off with the vague bollocks.

Between 13 & 16 my fat arse.

Why are you concerned really?

You're very bothered about your partner drinking with them, but you seem not at all bothered that your child was supplied with alcohol by another parent.

What's the real issue?
You either trust your partner, or you leave.

So they’re either 14 or 15. And you haven’t put a firm boundary in around alcohol. That’s really not on, OP. It’s not what most parents do, or most teens. You need to reflect on why you think it’s OK to normalise drinking with your daughter who is in her early teens.

Where were you all the time this was going on? If you weren't there how do you know what they discussed? I don't understand why you thought giving alcohol to underage kids was ok and why after you had organised this you weren't present. I'd be really pissed off with you if i was the other girl's parent.

It all sounds a bit seedy to me.
Grown man hanging around 14/15 yo girls, neither related to him, drinking together. And paedophilia was his topic of choice?

Weird.

Yes, he’s been a complete idiot. He should have checked they were ok and left them to it. Or he could have stayed in the room and been sensible. But he should not have been drinking heavily while in the room with them.

IMO

Having a drink under 16 if parents ok with it? Fine.

I’m impressed how many respondents don’t think under 16s drinks with adults at home on occasion. They’d drink anyway, home is a safer environment.

Topics of conversation? Unless he was being weird in some way, they are fine.

These are topics they will read about in newspapers, online, social media, hear at school etc. It could be a good thing to be able to ask questions of a trusted adult.

The only bit I’d say is questionable is letting them get drunk / have more than you had agreed to, and him being drunk enough it was notable.

Lesson for the future - pre-agree how much they can have. And perhaps a warning to your DH to just be a bit thoughtful about it.

WTAF. Your DH is getting pissed with 14/15 year old girls? And you're supplying the alcohol? Totally irresponsible on all fronts. You, your DH and the other child's parents.

Why did they need to be drinking?! It's 18 for a reason. And yes the step dad is weird and creepy .
1 drink ok getting drunk is stupid and irresponsible of you.

I mean you're both acting totally inappropriately!

He sounds like a classic old creepy drunk racist person.

You sound like you're shifting blame onto him, rather than accept that you had underage drinking children at home! Also refusing to clarify ages but saying between 13-16 is just odd.

I'm questioning your judgement leaving two underage girls to drink with an unrelated male. Why did he want to drink with them? Why did he discuss such topics??

Read the op again. They were allowed to have a drink. The OP never said that they had gotten drunk. If 15 I’d say it’s reasonable enough to let them have one drink.

If my 14/15 year old DD came home from a sleepover and told me that her mate’s stepdad discussed those topics while drinking, while you weren’t there, I would be very concerned.