DP and I have a 14 month old baby, plus children from previous relationships. Since having the baby, our relationship has changed and is understandably strained. We are struggling with a busy household, lack of sleep, demanding jobs etc.
DP has always needed and wanted more downtime than me, and he does go out regularly. He has a hobby that he does every other weekend, and usually spends at least one evening a week out with friends. Although I don’t have the same need to go out, I do understand it’s important for him. He mostly asks me if I mind, and most of the time I don’t.
Two weekends ago he went and spent the day with a friend and then stayed at theirs overnight. Last weekend he spent two days and nights away for a friend’s big birthday. Next weekend he has a stag do, and he has now just asked me if I mind if he goes out and stays with a friend again this weekend. So, that will be four weekends in a row where he hasn’t been at home.
It’s definitely not an affair for those whose mind may come to that conclusion - I know that all of these planned events / staying with friends are legit and verifiable.
My attitude is that, if he thinks this is okay behaviour, to crack on. I’ve had too many relationships that were riddled with arguments, explanations of feelings, why ‘x’ behaviour isn’t okay or is taking the piss out of me. I wouldn’t dream of taking the piss out of him (or anyone I liked) like this and I also wouldn’t want to be away from my DP or the children with such frequency. I guess my approach is just to ‘store this one in the memory’ and carry on. Just a general feeling of can’t be arsed to explain to a grown man why this really isn’t okay, and why it would be upsetting to me and the kids.