Crying and shaking

Yes, my ds is the same- enormous physical stress in a meltdown as well as emotional and then exhaustion so he has to just lie down and that’s it for the rest of the day.

Yes when I had a panic attack, struggled to breathe as well. In response to a phobia. I was trembling for (what felt like) a really long time (maybe half an hour).

Oh darling, it is so beyond your control. I’m having counselling which helps a bit but doesn’t stop it happening altogether. It’s honestly the worst, it makes you feel so helpless. In a previous job the Chief Exec invited me out to drinks with the directors and I thought: “Oh wow, this is good!” I popped along, they were pouring drinks and suddenly my left hand felt like it wasn’t part of my body anymore. I spent the evening drinking from a non-stemmed glass with both hands like a sippy cup. I told them I had injured my wrist… but it is like the bottom falls out of your world for a bit and you have no control and your limb can give way at any minute. It is getting better over time though. I have so much sympathy for you. It’s the one situation where mind over matter doesn’t work, because physically your body is on one level and your brain on another.

I have a friend who vomits when she is upset- not in an attention seeking run to the loo and lock herself in until you make a fuss way, just suddenly and quietly vomits- bad news, row, awkward conversation, work mistake etc- she will be in the middle of doing the thing then suddenly vomit, while not even seeming to be overly emotional.

I cried and shook when my son died, I shook and threw up when my daughter died, I know someone who gets fits of giggles when something traumatic happens.

It's involuntary. When you're in shock you can't help how you react.

Your way isn't better, and it's not hard to understand that people are different.

MY DP is autistic, and has meltdowns. He also shakes and goes bright red. It is horrid to see. He has to get to a safe space then, where he can try to self regulate and wait it out. The the rest of his day is a write off.

Thanks. It is awful. Even friends tell me that I should not be reacting in such a way, but I can't help it.
I am glad someone out there understands.

It’s like a delayed response isn’t it? My horrible thing happened at 2am and when I got up to go to work the next day and got into the shower at 7am I totally cracked up (for want of a better term). I could lay in bed with my mind racing, but when I got out of bed to get on with my day I just couldn’t. I just couldn’t, my body just took over all the pain my brain was feeling.

I think as adults we don't touch or are touched by people outside our close family and friends circle. If you have one of course.

If you don't or if you're on your own a hand hold is very comforting without being too intrusive.

Yes after I got home after a bad car crash.

The whole tone of your opening post was clearly taking the piss out of people who say this is happening to them. And now you’re trying to backtrack. I’m doubting very much the list of traumas you’ve used to try and justify your way of thinking has even happened. And at the same time you’re doubling down by saying crying can’t happen at the same time as experiencing a fight or flight event, which it can. It’s even more common to burst into tears whilst shaking from shock after the event. Funnily enough exactly when someone might have come home after a horrible experience and be writing about it on mn for support and advice and describing how they’re crying and shaking. But there’s nasty idiots like you mocking them

I have been known to spit out a drink from laughing- not at something on mumsnet though.

My ds sobs and shakes at the same time when he has a meltdown (asd+adhd).

I shake when I shiver and cold. And I shake when my anxiety takes hold

But not really when I cry

Unless I'm so anxious I'm crying and shaking which is thankfully rare due to other coping mechanisms I have

When I'm very stressed I shake, my teeth start chattering - it's so weird and I can't control it.

Clever! Guess you could substitute W or T for the C?

Ooh thats really interesting! What does it mean?

Oh my gosh I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how horrible that must have been. That is horrific. I am truly so very sorry.

That sudden lack of limb control is awful isn’t it? Mine is getting better but it is taking such a long time and I have never known anything like it before. I really feel for you.

Lucky you OP, that you haven't experienced something traumatic enough to make you cry and shake.
When the police came to my door to tell me they had found my son's body I cried. I shook quite a lot too. The police officer had to get me a glass of water because I was a bit too shaky to get it myself.

Yes! I watch a lot of comedy and have been caught at the wrong moment on many an occasion. Keyboard and screen both regularly pebble-dashed with tea or wine. In fact DH, who is a very funny guy, often does it to me on purpose, waiting until I've taken a mouthful then unleashing the punchline!

I've never cried and shaken with emotion, but I do cry with laughter, sometimes to the point where I can't breathe.

Yes. But I do have EUPD, amongst many other things.

Same here. My legs give out. I was in my local town centre, and there was some kerfuffle between some men somewhere. Lots of shouting. Immediate adrenaline dump, and my legs caved. Had to sit on the floor for 10 mins or so.
I felt fucking stupid... it was two guys having their own thing going on... nowt to do with me.

Surely the answer to all of this is that we suffer and experience trauma differently (and some people use language in a hyperbolic way too).

I never want to go back to that day. I thought I was also having a stroke as my left hand went numb and stopped working properly. Once in a while when I am under stress it feels tingly and I have to put down what I am holding just in case it gets weak.

This all happened five years ago and I am still fearful of feeling that way again. It was honestly the worst I have felt in my entire life, but I also can’t help that my physical body chose to react in that way. I had zero control at the time.

I remember in the earlier days of t'internet when C|N>K was the correct response to a joke (instead of lol which is much more recent)

C|N>K is a computer programmish way of saying snorted coffee through my nose onto the keyboard.

I've typed it a fair few times and only actually done it once.

Ie yes it is a real thing but it also is used metaphorically at times.

This,. Only once ever, pram collapsed while crossing a road, car came towards us as trying to deal with chaos, man ran out into road and scooped pram and child up, idiot driver kept going, absolutely I cried and shook from the shock!