To labour in my nightdress

Well when he's doing the labour he can have his opinion, you wear whatever you like.

Maybe, I'm not sure if OP is paraphrasing him but if he's calling her wishes over something as simple as a nightie 'ridiculous' I think he's veering from frightened territory into dick territory.

Either way he needs to be told that he's stressing the OP out and is not in the delivery room to question the way the she wants to do things.

I laboured in a hospital gown with all of mine. Stuffed if I was getting anything of mine manky and having DH have to take it home as washing.

When I went to hospital I took my clothes but was asked to remove everything and I was put in hospital clothes.

I kept my pants on until the head was crowning, the midwife then cut them at the side. My nightie stayed on! All quite usual. Maybe DH can hang around in a t-shirt with his bits dangling about while you're in labour.

As a midwife I can tell you that all the women on here are right - wear whatever you want and see how you feel when the time comes.

It would be really worth considering antenatal classes, balanced ones which inform you both of all options / reality. It will hopefully help DH understand the process more and what he can do to help you.

Whatever you choose is right for you x

Sounds like he is frightened, talked to the only people he knows with experience of labouring and they all did it naked and one ended up emergency birthing when she thought she needed a poo.

So he is mitigating the fear by trying to find a solution.....hence the catheter and taking advice from women who have already done it.

I dont think he is a dick, just someone about to enter a situation that terrifies him and is trying to not be terrified.

I laboured in a nightdress. Kept knicks on until near the end as once waters broke I had to wear a pad while walking around. Do whatever feels comfortable for you on the day.

Said with love and kindness......you both are assuming certain things that are wrong. This is to be expected, most people these days have no idea what to expect during labour apart from what they have seen on TV. And that at least is more than women of my age had as we didnt experience our mothers or aunts or sisters birthing at home, and One Born Every Minute would very much NOT have been on TV in the 80's!!

I have had 6 births and I wore something with all of them except one where for some reason I couldnt bear anything touching me at all. So your DH is wrong on that one. The midwives frankly couldnt have cared less what I was wearing as long as the business end was available as and when needed.

That said......taking knickers on and off when full term is a big enough pain in the arse (har har) when not in labour, doing it when labouring and you may not be able to move particularly well (due to epidural, pain, chosen position etc) is far worse. Do it once and chances are you wont want to try and put them back on again, then off again etc. You are coming at this from the POV of a woman who isnt full term and isnt in labour, when the moment comes you will realise that there are more important things taking up your thoughts than whether you have your knickers on.

If there is one thing I can suggest to any couple planning their first labour....dont bother. All the birth plans in the world wont make this controllable. You will not bein charge, your body and your baby will be. I would say that coming to peace with what your body and baby want and need in the moment will help you go with the flow better than trying to plan everything in advance and then being angry or guilty or lost when the plan doesnt happen.

Its scary and human nature is to try and remove the fear by trying to control the outcome, but you cant.

One way or another, your baby will make its way into the world, knickers, sport bra or nightie notwithstanding. You'll do fine xx

I'm very concerned about your husband and how he's going to act while you're in labour. You really need to read him the riot act. He's there to support you and your wishes, he can keep his opinions to himself or he's out of there.

Have you thought about a water birth? Being in the water definitely feels more private and you can still have a top on.

I wore a long tshirt.
However, your husband seems to be listening more to others about labour than the one person giving birth to his child.
A catheter? Tell him to get off google and stop discussing your labour plans with other people!

I think you should wear whatever you’re comfortable with. From experience I wouldn’t worry about modesty during labour. You may be very physically exposed when giving birth (I know I was) but it doesn’t matter. Once you’re pushing, if all is well you’ll be just be focussed on birthing well.

I’ve had 3 babies and only had my dilation checked in one (my first) labour.

(due to circumstances rather than choice; I didn’t turn it down)

This!

Whilst I was happy to have exams in labour I hate a lot of the language used here- ‘You’ll have to be checked and examined’ ‘They will need to examine you regularly’ They can only examine you with your permission and some women opt to not have routine examinations in certain circumstances. And a PP commenting that midwives often ‘don’t bother getting consent’ for vaginal exams, umm that’s literally assault so is definitely not okay. Informed consent always in labour and birth.

You must have the longest arms in the world

Midwives and obstetricians don't "put their hand up" just for fun. And in a fairly straightforward labour they don't even do that anyway - they just look to see how things are progressing.

Do not agree to a catheter unless you actually need one. You’re basically just increasing the chance of a urine infection, there’s absolutely no need for one. Unless the midwives advise it (I had urine retention and just couldn’t wee for absolutely hours so had to have one)

I laboured in a nightdress and pants (and a pad as my waters were just leaking for ages). Had to change out of the nightdress and pants and into a hospital gown when I was going for an emergency c-section. He might be right about it being hot (mine was end of November and I was boiling) but if you’re comfortable then it’s up to you.

You don't have too have any checks for dilation unless you want them.
In two labours I didn't have them. I did check myself out of curiosity though.

Your body and it's up to you what you allow in labour and what you wear.

I laboured in my night dress, and kept my knickers on for quite a while. At some point when my midwife came to check on me she asked, "how attached are you to these knicks?" "Not at all", "Can I cut them off then? It'll be easier" 😅

I bought a cheap t shirt nightie for mine. Ended up completely naked each time! Just couldn't cope with being restricted.

As a midwife, I've seen women labour in all kinds of outfits! You should wear whatever feels comfortable, however trying to fiddle around with taking knickers off while baby is actively crowning doesn't seem very practical. So maybe once you start pushing you might want them off.

I dress modestly for religious reasons so I can sympathize with you.

For myself I wore a nightie that buttoned down the front. I eventually just left my knickers off and my nightie covered me so I still felt comfortable.

Putting a catheter in because your husband is worried you'll give birth in the toilet is absolutely bonkers. By that logic you should just be tied to the bed 'just in case'.

He needs to calm down and stop making this into such an issue! It's really not. Wear what you like and your team will work around/with you. If you think about it some people go into labor at work, fully dressed and somehow we are still able to deliver their babies. I'm sure your midwife can handle a pair of knickers haha.

Your breasts will be huge so you'll have to buy one specially

Not necessarily @PrincessTeaSet . My small boobs didn't increase in size when pregnant. I just went up a band size.

Your husband can wind his neck in, frankly. Wear what you like.

I wore a sports bra and big t-shirt that kept me covered. No knickers (that I can recall!) but the t-shirt meant I wasn’t exposed.

What you feel anxious about now will go out of the window when you’re in labour. By the end I would have performed a striptease and gleefully showed my bits to the hospital cleaner if it had meant getting my baby out safely/quicker/easily! Looking back it was an overall positive experience. I’m almost envious you’re going to be going through it yourself soon!

And wear whatever the f* you want x