My husband has got the grouting done.

DP likes me to be near and looking interested when he's doing DIY. He talks to me about every aspect of the job too. & praise seeks. I just sing songs in my head as opposed to screaming. I do love him but FFS I DON'T CARE. There's lots that I do, including a bit of DIY, without wanting to witter on about it at all.

Yeah the shower thing is so you know he doesn't smell

Foreplay?

I don't mind if it's DIY. I like to know whats being done on the house. If there's anything I need to not touch for a bit or a room I can now go in. It's when it's every day tasks like "I've done the dishwasher" that it bothers me.

Dh and I both do this 😳We both say thank you for it too - so we probably thank each other about 10 times a day. I admitted this before on MN and was mocked for it so probably will be again, but it works for us!

I always thought the tree falling in the forest thing was an analogy for the work women do in the home. Glad someone else has seen it.

I think they get used to tooting their own horns as children, and certainly they get rewarded for advertising their accomplishments at work, while women, who are socialised to wait for others to notice their worth (see multiple fairy tales), end up waiting and waiting and waiting for something that is never going to happen.

Maybe we should cheerfully announce our list of daily accomplishments, because it's a habit that clearly works for men (see 'pay gap'/ 'salary negotiation').

Give him a 🎖️

I'd just be so grateful the job was finished. My DH does a lot of DIY but he sometimes doesn't finish a job very quickly. It can take him 2 weeks to go back and complete a job. It drives me mad especially when he starts talking about the next thing he's going to do before the first job gets completed.

I think is definitely a case of mother praising every little achievement. MIL still gives DH a standing ovation if he does something mundane like putting the bins out.

It's the bank holiday. Mines just back from the garden centre with a boot full of shrubs.

I would be in to admire it because I do love a newly grouted wall. And to be honest if I did that or painted a fence or changed the light fittings I tend to show off about it .

Mine tells me well in advance of what he is goi yo do that day, then, upon completion, I get asked in a rhetorical manner if I've seen what he's done and doesn't it look better. Then in the evening I get given a summary of what he's done.
I don't particularly care tbh but it's easier to play along.
I usually leave the house for several good hours when he does something.
To be fair he does do a lot and I never, ever have to ask him to do anything because. but so do I. Yet I never give advance notice/commentary/ summary of what I do.
It's like having a very determined and proud 6 year old craving acknowledgment so it's quite amusing in a way.
God knows why some men do that?!
Did their mothers not praise them enough or praised them too much when they were growing up? I reckon that's where it all started.

Im sat here crying laughing 😂 my days i needed to read this!

Although now you guys mention it i realise the guy ive been getting to know over the last few months does exactly the same and technically we arent even in a relationship 😂😂

😂😂😂😂😂😂 what is it today. You lot have me in full hysterics

I totally get where the women who are doing the day to day grind are coming from, but there is something different about a one off job like pressure washing the patio. Both beed appreciating, but also I wouldn't want a partner who constantly thanked me for doing the washing up.

Interestingly when I lived with my boyfriend where we fell out wasn't the day to day stuff. We set up rules and routines for doing those and just got on with it. What bugged me was the lack of initiative to do those one off jobs that need doing just as much as the washing up.

If you both own the house / share the space equally it seems very fair and respectful to say when you are doing something like DIY.

I would get annoyed if it was a running commentary on things that get done every day, like washing dishes.

😂😂😂 I don’t know why this has tickled me so much. It’s the ‘probably neater, right?’ for me
😂😂😂😂

I put our bedding on to wash this morning .
DH went up in the loft for something , I thought he called my name so went up to find him and adult DD looking quizzically at me No-one called you . You must be hearing things . Head Tilt Sympathy Faked Look

DH then goes up to shift stuff , vacuum down the back of the bed . Then told me as I obviously didn;t hear the shifting of furniture and worry he'd fallen into the abyss down the side of the bed.

His medal is in the post , obvs

Mine does this and also tells me that he has had a shower, cut his toenails or some other utterly mundane personal grooming task I don’t need to know about. It’s tedious.

Patio washing husband just came in having a panic as a frog had hopped onto the patio and he didn’t know what to do. I had to get a plastic lid (takeaway box) and rescue froggy (who was actually a toad) and relocate him to the bottom of the garden out of harms way. Husband moaning that I did this in bare feet - which took two seconds to dry in a towel, as opposed to his soaking trainers which will be left in the garage till they smell like a damp dog.

As my late mum would have said, does he want a medal or the chest to pin it on ... 😂

I feel I need to say that my curtain poles get dusted every other week (when I use the feather duster to do any cobwebs) 😇 I have no one to tell 😂😂

Mine tells me in great detail what he's going to do, like a running commentary before the fact. I smile and nod and remind myself I love him.

I chuckled at polishing the curtain rod 😂

A few years ago DH and I had an argument about a similar thing, and I said " what do you want a bloody gold star or something? " and he said yes, actually he did.

So I went and got a piece of paper and a packet of gold stars and put a star chart on the fridge so that if he wanted to behave like a child he could.

It was up for months and became a running joke.

Mine didn't need to tell me anything. It would have seem a bit churlish for me to not have noticed him on his hands and knees spot cleaning the rug in front of the sofa, though. I made a cup of tea.

I tell people when I do DIY or gardening or whatever, not if I clean the kitchen or something more regular, but any job that happens less often. Because usually I'm quite proud of myself and want to show off a bit. It's nice to be appreciated!