My husband has got the grouting done.

Mine tells me when he's going for a poo 😂

My DH does stuff like this All. The. Time.

I told him to set the table for dinner. I come through carrying hot food and he has all the chairs upside down on the table. He's decided to tighten the legs as one seemed a bit wobbly. We're running late, running around, shouting at the kids to get shoes on. Where's DH? Emptying the kitchen bin / organising a drawer/ unloading the dishwasher etc etc. If I patio him then this will be the reason.

Mine does this Every. Fucking. Time. Stands there like a sodding puppy waiting for a 'Good Boy' for bringing the ball back! Maybe we should fall to our knees and give thanks.... Or not!

Sounds familiar.

Here we joke about the use of the word "all". As in "I've hoovered all the stairs".

Yes, of course you have, it'd be weird to only hoover every other stair, would it?

Oh yes definitely a man thing I have to even go look, think they love bit of praise but I do appreciate him doing the DIY before anyone jumps on me lol

I remember as a child that my dad would suddenly decide he had to do some terribly urgent work on the car just before we were were supposed to go somewhere. Having ignored it for weeks.

One memorable occasion we had been taken out of school at lunchtime to travel long way to gp for an event. At teatime we were still sat on the living room floor having scoffed our car picnic 🤣

I have been divorced for 20 years now, but I remember when we were supposed to be going out somewhere with the children (back in the 80s) him telling me he'd done several jobs this morning. I must have looked sceptical because he then listed, having a shower, washing his hair (what little bit he had), cutting his talons nails and getting dressed. All things that normal people would do before they started their jobs - and wouldn't count as jobs anyway. He really thought I should be impressed that he had showered and got dressed. It was a downward spiral from then on really.

(I of course had done all that and wrangled two kids under three.)

Left over right, right over left, repeat 😀😀

At least he knows how to do something useful to you.

My DS was doing this today - was driving me mad but I indulged him because (a) he is 14 and (b) he was making focaccia for the first time, which was pretty impressive

when I occasionally reach Laundry Zero, everyone hears about it

DH never makes it to Laundry Zero, but also doesn’t go on about it, so maybe he’s doing ok

When DH isn't available I'll phone my mum about it 🤣🤣

I tell my DH everything. Here's some things I've said to him recently:

"Look, I completed the grouting! Doesn't it look so much better?" (I have done lots of tiling in the house, I'm not taking the piss out of the title 😆)
"Look, I sanded that piece of wood in the hallway."
"Look at the five loads of laundry I've done today! So much washing!"
"Look, I hoovered the stairs. So much better, don't you think?"

Sometimes I feel like I do deserve a medal. Getting grouting right isn't as easy as putting everyone's pants in the right place.

It’s the fucking proud face that gets me.

’I’ve done the dishwasher.’ Proud face
’I’ve put my trousers away’. Proud face
’I’ve just mowed the lawn.’ Proud face

Not to mention the ‘Come and see what I’ve done in the garden/kitchen/car! So you can tell me what a clever boy I’ve been!’. He seems to think that I actually want to leave my cuppa and book so that I can praise him. Fuck’s sake.

To be fair I feel like I need some verbal encouragement over the laundry so fair play to him.

I'm always telling DH that his washing machine is singing for him and when I've tidied my bedroom for him 😂😂😂 it's completely tongue in cheek. He does the "family" laundry and I am very untidy which drives him crazy.

We do the same and will stand and admire each other's work. If I've got three loads of washing done and line dried I will absolutely announce it because getting all that laundry dried in one day makes me feel like Goddess of Everything.

Mine likes to hoover and leave the hover splayed across the floor as evidence of his excellence

Mine talked me through him plaiting my hair this morning…

I just texted someone to tell them I had painted my radiators! Sometimes you just have to share!

Anyone whose husbands are getting under their feet, please send them my way next bank holiday. I will very happily pop out from time to time and make impressed noises.
Dh has done the washing, and taken us out for lunch, but he's not the keenest on DIY and it normally takes me 3 months of asking, 3 months of nagging and about 6 weeks of threatening to get someone in to pay for it to be done.
He will probably mow the lawn at some point in the next 6 weeks before he finishes gardening for the summer. Tbf our lawn doesn't grow much beyond moss.

My husband does this and I am so glad I’m not alone!!

Every little thing he does I have to be informed he’s either done it or is about to do it…. Then I usually have to go and look after (for example mowing the lawn or washing the cars).

Ive started going a bit over the top and showing him when I’ve cleaned the toilet and when he gets home from work listing all the jobs I’ve done but he’s not taking the hint!! 😆

Late DH used to do this when we first got married.
I used to pat him on the head & say "There's a good boy".
It soon stopped.