I didn't respect my elders

HelloDenise · 2024-05-06T11:24:43+00:00

I'm in the park this morning before meeting friends for lunch. I bought some ice cream and sat on a bench occupied by an old guy at the other end and in the middle a load of coat and bags. He told me "excuse me that's my wife's seat" (she had gone to get drinks). I told him he could move the coats when she came back. He did and there would have been room for another person as well as his missus. They just didn't want to share the bench and muttered when they left about respect for your elders.

phoenixrosehere · 11/05/2024 18:20

inamarina · 11/05/2024 09:20

Exactly. I wouldn’t want a stranger listening in to our conversation, doesn’t matter if the bench technically fits four people.
Of course it’s different if someone needed to sit down because they were unwell or similar.

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If the couple wanted privacy, then they could talk at home, not in a public park.

OP also said that there was nowhere else to sit.

Most people don’t care about whatever conversation others are having and are just looking for a place to sit for a bit.

Original poster

HelloDenise · 11/05/2024 17:50

inamarina · 11/05/2024 09:20

Exactly. I wouldn’t want a stranger listening in to our conversation, doesn’t matter if the bench technically fits four people.
Of course it’s different if someone needed to sit down because they were unwell or similar.

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I couldn't hear anything they said. And if I could I wouldn't attempt to listen. Too busy reading my book.

OP posts:

inamarina · 11/05/2024 09:20

Lavender14 · 06/05/2024 16:51

This^

Unless I really needed the seat I wouldn't have taken it and accepted that it was already occupied and looked for another. It's not about age it's about privacy and personal space. For all you know they were in the middle of a difficult conversation, immuno compromised or highly anxious. I think you come off slightly entitled tbh.

If you'd come and sat on the end of a bench I was sitting at I'd immediately feel like I needed to move.

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Exactly. I wouldn’t want a stranger listening in to our conversation, doesn’t matter if the bench technically fits four people.
Of course it’s different if someone needed to sit down because they were unwell or similar.

earther · 07/05/2024 08:06

YouAreLiveOnTelevisionPleaseDoNotSwear · 07/05/2024 07:43

'Nope, your nit picking diatribe hasn't made me change my mind.

Have a lovely day, if it's possible to in your world.'

@justaboutdonenow

I don't need to change your mind, they were your own words.

And thanks, I do have a lovely day planned!

Good morning i to have a good day a head of me got to do some shopping first.
Grab a coffee in town first.
Lets see how we can keep the thread alive to day lol.
I think we are building friendship here.
🙂

YouAreLiveOnTelevisionPleaseDoNotSwear · 07/05/2024 07:43

'Nope, your nit picking diatribe hasn't made me change my mind.

Have a lovely day, if it's possible to in your world.'

@justaboutdonenow

I don't need to change your mind, they were your own words.

And thanks, I do have a lovely day planned!

YouAreLiveOnTelevisionPleaseDoNotSwear · 07/05/2024 07:42

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Eh?

Isn't the whole point of a forum to post and reply to threads no?

So everyone posting and replying is doing so for attention?

Aye okay got it

justaboutdonenow · 07/05/2024 07:41

YouAreLiveOnTelevisionPleaseDoNotSwear · 06/05/2024 22:27

@justaboutdonenow

I can read perfectly fine, thank you.

You literally said the OP was being unreasonable for sitting on an 'occupied' bench.
Meaning you think it's wrong for her to sit on the bench.
Meaning you think benches should be for 1 person only.

Which means if you are on a bench, no one else should be.

Which means you're entitled.

If it was only to do with you not liking close contact with strangers, then you wouldn't have said the OP was being unreasonable. As it's a you problem.

They're made for 3/4 people for a reason.

Nope, your nit picking diatribe hasn't made me change my mind.

Have a lovely day, if it's possible to in your world.

timewach · 06/05/2024 23:23

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Original poster

HelloDenise · 06/05/2024 23:11

Mnk711 · 06/05/2024 23:03

The way you've worded this here it sounds like you were rude. I'd have said - I'm very sorry but there aren't any other seats anywhere else as the park is busy, perhaps your wife could sit there?' pointing at coats.

I wasn't rude. I said all of that without saying sorry as I didn't have anything to be sorry for. There was room for an all in wrestler between me and them when they all sat down.

OP posts:

earther · 06/05/2024 23:06

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Yeah you dont have to run checks on me lol.
That all no adult jabs.
If you are upset please take a break you can privet message me if you need to talk.

Mnk711 · 06/05/2024 23:03

The way you've worded this here it sounds like you were rude. I'd have said - I'm very sorry but there aren't any other seats anywhere else as the park is busy, perhaps your wife could sit there?' pointing at coats.

Original poster

HelloDenise · 06/05/2024 22:57

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 06/05/2024 22:51

If a couple were on a bench I think I'd leave them to it. It's petty not to, unless the park is really crowded.

It was really crowded. I ended up with lots of space between me and them. It had a lot of room on it.

OP posts:

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 06/05/2024 22:51

If a couple were on a bench I think I'd leave them to it. It's petty not to, unless the park is really crowded.

YouAreLiveOnTelevisionPleaseDoNotSwear · 06/05/2024 22:27

@justaboutdonenow

I can read perfectly fine, thank you.

You literally said the OP was being unreasonable for sitting on an 'occupied' bench.
Meaning you think it's wrong for her to sit on the bench.
Meaning you think benches should be for 1 person only.

Which means if you are on a bench, no one else should be.

Which means you're entitled.

If it was only to do with you not liking close contact with strangers, then you wouldn't have said the OP was being unreasonable. As it's a you problem.

They're made for 3/4 people for a reason.

YouAreLiveOnTelevisionPleaseDoNotSwear · 06/05/2024 22:20

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justaboutdonenow · 06/05/2024 19:06

YouAreLiveOnTelevisionPleaseDoNotSwear · 06/05/2024 16:57

Yeah let's all avoid the bench and no one can take a seat just so you can have the full bench to yourself.

It's either a right squeeze sitting next to you on a bench, or you're entitled.

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Can't get over how aggrieved you appear to have become over a hypothetical bench, which may, or may not, be able to seat 2, 4, or even 20 people.

And because reading comprehension doesn't appear to be your strong point I will reiterate that I never said people couldn't sit on this fictional bench but that if they did I would move away, because I don't want to sit near random strangers.

Disliking close contact with strangers doesn't make people entitled.

earther · 06/05/2024 17:25

funinthesun19 · 06/05/2024 16:47

Anything else you want to get off your chest? 😂

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No it think thats it for today feel much better lol.

earther · 06/05/2024 17:24

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Well they had their baby jabs and school ones.

YouAreLiveOnTelevisionPleaseDoNotSwear · 06/05/2024 17:00

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YouAreLiveOnTelevisionPleaseDoNotSwear · 06/05/2024 16:57

justaboutdonenow · 06/05/2024 13:54

YABU to sit on an already occupied bench, I'd be pissy too if a random stranger came & sat right near me.

But then, I'd rather stand on public transport than sit next to a stranger, not everyone in the world likes the close proximity of other people & there's nothing wrong with that.

Yeah let's all avoid the bench and no one can take a seat just so you can have the full bench to yourself.

It's either a right squeeze sitting next to you on a bench, or you're entitled.

oObyeOo · 06/05/2024 16:52

I’m off the thinking that a bench if for the sole purpose of a family/friendship group. Not for sharing with strangers.

So I wouldn’t have even sat down

Lavender14 · 06/05/2024 16:51

inamarina · 06/05/2024 16:35

I’m similar.
Wouldn’t mind it on public transport, but if I sat on a park bench with my husband/ friend I wouldn’t be so keen on a stranger sitting down right next to us.
In the same way, I wouldn’t plonk myself down next to a stranger either.
Public transport is different in my opinion, but in a park I would look for an empty bench or just stroll with my ice cream.

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This^

Unless I really needed the seat I wouldn't have taken it and accepted that it was already occupied and looked for another. It's not about age it's about privacy and personal space. For all you know they were in the middle of a difficult conversation, immuno compromised or highly anxious. I think you come off slightly entitled tbh.

If you'd come and sat on the end of a bench I was sitting at I'd immediately feel like I needed to move.

funinthesun19 · 06/05/2024 16:47

earther · 06/05/2024 15:42

Just because someone is old does not make them right.
The world as gone mad honestly it has.
Old people can never be wrong but cant call them old not even at 70-80 because its ageism. Sorry but your old.

Dont get me started with the gentle parenting ffs raise your kids stop faffing about with feelings if you dont raise your kids and let them know they cant always have it their way and your the parent not the friend they gonna turn in to entitled selfish people that think everything is abuse when they are older.

Oh not to mention older mums who wants babies at near on 50 when you have grown up kids already.
The world has gone mad.

Anything else you want to get off your chest? 😂

phoenixrosehere · 06/05/2024 16:46

Were there any empty benches around?

If not, YANBU.

It was a 4 seater bench and you sat at the opposite end. There was still plenty of space for him and his wife from the read of things. It’s a public bench, not seating at a restaurant.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 06/05/2024 16:44

I wouldn’t have sat there. I hate it when strangers cram on a bench. I’d just have got up and walked away.

Benches are not big enough to fit 4 people on if you don’t know them all. Too close for comfort.