Dressing up in sexy lingerie

Why is it such a bad thing to wear something that your sexual partner finds attractive? I want to look good, for both myself and I do look cracking in certain things but also for the person I have been having sex with for over 20 years? What's wrong with wanting to look sexy/attractive/good to them? I want to. He wants and tries to look good for me too! It's nothing to do with feeling empowered! Of course I want to be desired, it's a lovely feeling!

In what way is wearing make up, staying in shape or going to the hairdresser's for men's entertainment?

I get this. Outside of the coldest winter months when the dreaded opaque tights come out, l’m a stocking wearer by day, except in the mid summer bare leg season. Plus l like nice bra and knix for day to day wear. I don’t really have any special “best underwear”. I do aspire to match, (l buy 2 new pairs of knix with every new bra), l don’t always succeed though. I think pretty (not a word l often use) rather than sexy would be an appropriate term.

For the bedroom l prefer to be naked (sometimes it’s practical to keep my glasses on for starters 😀) but obviously l’m seen in what l have on before it comes off.

l prefer a bed fellow to be dressed nicely underneath it all too.

You could say that about anything though. Wearing make up, staying in shape, going to the hairdressers. It's not really that deep. My husband likes me naked but he also likes me in lingerie sometimes. And so what if I'm doing it for him? He's my husband and I want to be sexy for him, lingerie or not. He's sexy too.

The existence of special clothes for women to wear for men’s entertainment and pleasure is just horrid to me. Hats off if you’re a woman who likes it… to each her own. Feeling empowered is BS, if you need special clothes to feel empowered surely it’s because you feel these special clothes are having the desired impact of arousing the man in question. The balance of who is doing the leg work for pleasure is wrong.

I quite like it but DH and ex’s have all been more interested in taking it off!

I have sexy underwear and sometimes my husband will ask me to wear it as it does turn him on. He likes me naked or dressed but if I wear a basque and stockings he says he knows it’s just for him and that turns him on. The thing is boned though and creaks like an old ship! Or maybe that’s me as I’m old.

You replied to my post, so I assumed you wanted debate.

Anyway theres a whole section for this. Try it

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/sex

I didn’t say you started the thread. I was referring to OP, who I was addressing in the first place with my first comment, so why bother replying to me?

If it surprises you in any way that this forum has sex topics, then that’s rather bizarre.

Mumsnet: Women become mums by having sex.

We don't need to.
But some people want to.
And some people like a variety in their sex life even if most of the time it's just about touching.

Those animals need to give off pheromones to get the males excited to have sex. The males have no interest in them the rest of the time.

Dressing up in sexy lingerie sounds very old fashioned.
Wearing underwear that you like and feel good in sounds like a great idea.

Some animals for stuff - bower birds, for example.

Haven't read whole thread but was thinking about this the other day - other animals don't need to dress up to have sex - I mean animals like apes, chimps, bears, dogs etc. Why do humans need to wear special clothes to have sex? Shouldn't it be about touching, anyway?

You could just ignore threads you're not interested in.

I didnt start the thread. This is not an internet forum about sex, more about mums and children, the clue is in the name Mumsnet, it's not called Sexnet.

The whole point is that I dont want to sit around and examine what adults like to wear during sex, hence me saying "dont mention your sex life on a forum "

See what I did there?

If he wants to see me in it, he can pick it, buy it and I will wear it for an evening

So far he hasn't bothered his ass in 15 plus years. I tell him the above when he go's on about it. I have enough to manage without choosing underwear for him to get his rocks off

I have ‘dressed up’ for sex in the past with partners who found it a turn on, but most have said naked is best.

But it can be fun making them wait for naked...

So is buying a can of soup in your local supermarket.

I prance, because I do burlesque, pole, chair dance, floor work etc 😂
Not for the male eye, it's just a lot of fun!

Some 'feminists' also criticize those hobbies and say it's all for the mens gaze even though most of us never perform and it's just a fun hobby 🙄

There have been women who have taken the classes with zero confidence after divorces etc and say they find them so empowering and that they really boost their confidence in every way and are just a lot of fun.

My burlesque teacher even does some classes for pensioners sometimes and they all love it and have a ball. They're not stripping down to suspenders and fishnets but they're enjoying themselves and being playful and having a laugh with a bunch of women!

@lotsofpeoplenametheirswords

Yes it's performative. We all know it is. You know it is. If you look on a lot of the posts on here, so does everyone else. And you quoted me, I said it's the biggest lie....it was in reference to liberal feminism.

I don't care if you want to wear sexy underwear for yourself or your partner, just don't pretend it's empowering. It's not, it's marketing.

Where did I mention feminism? You think I dress for the benefit of Feminism. You think my sex life has anything to do with your version of feminism?

I will wear whatever I feel good in. Not for you, not for vulnerable women, not for anyone else but for me.

I also don't 'prance'. Is it just women in nice underwear you describe as 'prancing'?

@lotsofpeoplenametheirswords

JFC woman, read some feminist theory will you.

Individual empowerment isn't feminism. Feminism is about the liberation of all women and girls, specifically the most vulnerable in society.

I can't see how prancing around in knickers is sticking two fingers up to the patriarchy, however empowering you personally find it.