New partner hearing voices

Yes, I think auditory or visual hallucinations are quite common. It's the fact that he doesn't see them for what they are and they are giving him instructions is very worrying. Also, he is not working.

for some he would be interesting and ideal, for you just not compatible and obviously concerning. answer? move on

Has he been off work the whole time youve known him?

How are you managing to go out on dates if he's not working? Is he independently wealthy?

As above^^

When those spirit voices tell him to harm you, what will you do then? Hmmm?

His bad back is an easy excuse that he’s in an episode at present.

🚩🚩🚩

That's a very ignorant comment actually. I've been hearing voices and having visual hallucinations for years. I dont have schizophrenia I have complex PTSD and this happens when I get stressed. I know they aren't real.
Despite this I manage to work full time as a medical professional in the NHS and it doesn't affect my work or relationships at all. I make sure I take medication so it does not become intrusive. 10% of the population have had some kind of stress related hallucination.
I detest home diagnosis when you are not a psychiatric professional.
But quite frankly I wouldn't be going out with someone who doesn't work and has an undiagnosed condition when I have kids.

He has always told me has an interest in the supernatural and I hadn't thought much more about it
Fine

The spirits are with him all the time
Fine - a belief

and give him instructions (harmless like eating foods they enjoy, etc)
Crossover into very much not fine and mental illness territory.

Why would spirits be instructing you on what to eat? Even for a believer this makes no sense.

This isn't someone I would have around my dc.

I’m certainly not suggesting this. I have a good friend with bipolar disorder, which she manages well, in consultation with her psychiatrist, and I never had the slightest issue with her looking after my DS. But would I, as a parent to dependent children, enter into a relationship with someone who has uncontrolled auditory hallucinations that issue commands and who is unable to work? No.

i wouldnt want this sort of invovlement

Where am I saying it’s fine to expose the kids to this? Please quote me.

Some of the language and judgment of people with mental illness here makes me uncomfortable. Lots of stereotyping and stigma at large still.

Ending the relationship is fine. Assuming he is automatically dangerous and a ‘looney’? Not so much.

It’s irresponsible to imply that there is only a ‘certain kind’ of voice in schizophrenia when that is what is being described. Unmanaged, it’s not safe, definitely not with children.

How is the post irresponsible ? ,nobody on here can say wether he has schizophrenia or not people give arm chair diagnosis, s on here bssed on very little
I agree I would also encourage someone who claims to be hearing voices to seek assessment and treatment, I wouldn't however be labelling them as having schizophrenia ,without a full assessment and diagnosis.

I think he probably has schizophrenia. The fact that he doesn't seem to realise that he is having hallucinations is worrying particularly as they are giving him instructions. He is probably lying about why is not working is worrying too.

It’s irresponsible to advise someone not to make a diagnosis based on a short post on Mumsnet? Ok…

The concerns are a different issue which need addressing.

Forgetting about the voices for a moment, the off work part needs further investigation. If genuine, he will still have an employer if he has been signed off sick. Has he not mentioned who his employer is and what is going on there as six months is a long time to be off. He sounds like he will be way more trouble than he is worth.

Your post is irresponsible. There are different kinds of voices that can be heard with schizophrenia and one common kind is ‘command hallucinations’ telling him to do things which he has described.

I had an ex with this problem. I would encourage him to seek treatment. Definitely not safe to be around, this is a dangerous situation.

Sounds like he's manipulating you in view of you being a widow & claiming to be in touch with 'other side'. Too many red flags, move on. What would your late DH advise? Thinking of that might help you be brutally honest with yourself.

Some good replies here which is quite a similar thread -

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/feeling_depressed/5065523-friend-with-paranoid-schizophrenia-what-to-expecthow-to-handle?reply=135049248

I would end it tbh it's like others have said most likely schizophrenia and you really don't need that in your life with 3 children

Could also be psychosis symptoms

6 months off work but he's well enough to date he's either a lazy fantasist or mentally unwell, I would avoid. I dabble in a bit of light hearted woo myself but even so, no work and hearing voices would make me run.

Yes, but did the spirits tell him to say this?

Run, run as fast as you can.

Also - I know people with schizophrenia who lead fulfilling lives as well. It’s not an illness that is well understood or talked about in my opinion.