New partner hearing voices

I’d end it because of the voices, for all of the very good reasons already posted.
Also because he’s been out of work so long. Surely there is work he can do of some kind. As you have your own business his lack of work ethic will start to grate.
But his back problem would raise another red flag for me. You’re taking things slow at the moment but will his back hinder your sex life?
Personally, I no longer look for Olympic level gymnastics but I don’t want to have to wait for the Deep Heat analgesic to sink in either

Thank you, next. 🚩

Hmm I would run a mile to be honest. I’d find that very strange.

Sorry for your troubles but do you want people to tell her to stay with and expose their children to this man so that no one’s feelings get hurt? It is what it is.

Oh that sounds like hard work, I’d move on.

I think it's a very poorly understood thing tbh. We could do with everybody knowing more about it I reckon.

Yes of course but she’s not asking a psych, she’s asking on a forum and it sounds very much like schizophrenia or bipolar, from the lived experience I have of it. Whatever the diagnosis though, he’s clearly very sick, we can all agree on that, and it’s unanimous that he’s sadly not in a position to have a relationship with. I just took against someone saying it’s normal. It is not normal to hear voices.

This is a fun read for those of us who have had episodes of psychosis. Think I might as well go and live in a leper colony.

Hi OP,

I think this is medically considered to be some kind of psychosis or something, but I also understand that quite a lot of people live with conditions like this quite happily as long as the voices are friendly. However, in your shoes I would also end it. It sounds like too much to take on.

If he wants assessment or treatment he would approach an NHS service like this one:

https://www.cpft.nhs.uk/service-detail/service/cameo-early-intervention-23/

I had a friend some years ago who also saw people and got messages from them but she considered that they were ghosts of real people who had died, and not a problem. She joined a charity who helped people who were at the end of life. She would go and visit people in palliative care and talk to them about all the ghosts from their own family who were sitting in the room waiting to help them in the next phase of life. She was completely happy about it and said the charity was very good.

People are very complicated I think, and often in very good ways.

And yet you confidently stated that he was schizophrenic ,non of us can say that based on very limited info
That said the relationship is clearly going no where .

Run

I lived with the relative with psychosis. You again made assumptions based on your guesswork. You seem to do this often.
You are still diagnosing. We have no idea if this is a mental health problem or not.
That does not mean OP should stay with this man. There are enough question marks over work alone to give her pause for thought, and she does not need the hassle.
But the information provided about hearing voices is very scant. We know NOTHING about any wider context in this man's background, religious affiliation/beliefs, culture, even how often he hears voices.
Anyone who thinks they can diagnose mental health problems on the basis of the scant written information has little understanding of mental health issues.
And by the way, psychosis, properly diagnosed psychosis, can be frightening to the sufferer or others, or it can be grandiose and feel positive to the sufferer. Diagnosed psychosis takes many forms.

Yes of course one can’t diagnose from the internet.

I don't think anyone is suggesting the Op carries on with the relationship , its clearly problematic for whatever reason and it wouldn't be stable for the children
That doesn't mean he necessarily has schizophrenia, though

If I was purporting to diagnose him, I would see what you’re saying.

but the Op is talking about whether to have a relationship with someone who is clearly seriously unwell; whether it’s psychosis or schizophrenia is really moot for these purposes.

Sorry but caring for a friend or relative is not the same as being forced to live in the same space as someone very frightening and unstable. You really don’t know what that feels like for a child and I’m suggesting the OP puts her children first and ensure they aren’t exposed to this.

There are many reasons for hearing voices eg children have imaginary friends and some keep them longer than normal or some people are genuinely lonely and create a voice of people might have them from depression or after a bereavement. Extreme stress can also cause this I understand. I once felt my dead mother near me when I was really sad. It was a light touch when I really needed it. Probably it was my brain acting to comfort me who knows. It’s wrong to label someone schizophrenic on the internet - it’s actually crazy in itself and reckless. But I would be wary and if wanting to stay with him maybe explore it more and find out more about what happened at work.

I was an RMN for many years I worked in acute mental health for a lot of my career so I have quite a bit of insight into.psychosis thank you
I do not however feel qualified to diagnose someone on the Internet. With schizophrenia based on very limited information nobody can ,
Neither did I say the Op should be in a relationshop with him .

I would run a mile. There is absolutely no explanation which would make me any more likely to continue a new relationship with someone who said they heard voices and believe in spirits.

It does sound like mental illness but regardless of that he doesn't work which would limit what you can do if you stay in this relationship. It's too much for you to take on along with your DC.

I've got friends with mental health issues but they are medicated and on top of it and they work.

@Muthaofcats I have experience of caring for a relative and a friend with pychosis.
You are making the common mistake of taking your experience, and transposing it into a completely different situation where you have no idea if it is relevant. We do not know if this person has psychosis. Hearing voices does not automatically mean psychosis.
Your level of knowledge is equivalent to someone who says that a friends child does not have autism because your autistic child can not look people in their eyes.

Run for the hills

Probably because some people have had the terrible misfortune of actually living with a person like this and seeing the incredible harm they can cause to those around them.

This is not to say I don’t feel very sorry for this man, who sounds extremely vulnerable.

But knowing what I know, I wouldn’t dream of exposing my children to a vulnerable person like this.

if you think what Op describes is normal, or sounds like a person in a position to get into a relationship with an established family, then you perhaps need to go speak to a psychiatrist yourself.

The reason the armchair diagnosis matters is because it reinforces various stereotypes about mental illness. That matters as many people are mentally ill and myths affect how these people are treated.

I don't see why pp are getting their knickers in a twist re diagnosis.

The OP hasn't asked for one, nor expects one.

I'm not a doctor, but this guy has two red flags and I recommend she gives him the heave ho.

That's all the OP wants, advice from others.

The bickering thats going on to and fro is very boring and clogs up the thread, and not helping the OP.

Indeed I had some very interesting conversations, when I was a mental health nurse with some student nurses and health care assistants that had emigrated from certain African countries .