Parents in law haven’t congratulated second pregnancy…

I don't see much difference between phone and WhatsApp really. That's the trouble, everyone's different and has a different perception of what's an acceptable way to tell people and how to react.

I lost first pregnancy at 12 weeks and still told pretty much as soon as I knew the next two times.

Really no point OP thinking her in-laws haven't reacted as she would expect them to though. It sounds fine to me.

@DappledThings oh I certainly wouldn't want scan pics or fuss.

Our parents were told over the phone at 12 weeks for the first pg which I lost at 17 weeks so thereafter 18 weeks.

I'm the other way round. I'd be mildly disappointed if they made a big deal of it with scan pics and fuss because I'd take that as them not trusting us to be excited with the news itself if they didn't dress it up.

I told my parents all three times over the phone in a brief call at about 5 weeks with a caveated "obviously it's early days so anything could happen" because I didn't want a big fuss. I knew they were excited about being grandparents, I didn't want it to be a big deal

Are they involved in the first child? You’ve compared them with your family who
you say are better, so I wonder if they pick up on the vibe.
does your husband maintain contact? And show an interest in them and their news?

To be honest, second pregnancies are never quite as celebrated/special as the first time round - it's just a bit like "ah they're having another, that's nice".

I say this as someone currently pregnant with her second!

Might it be they are a little cautious/superstitious talking about the pregnancy. When I told my mum, she never mentioned it throughout the whole pregnancy - I remember being so upset. I did talk to her about it after my child was born and she told me about someone she worked with who had just lost a baby early on and she didn't want to jinx things. She was great when our baby arrived and couldn't have been a better granny.

I'd be very disappointed if DS and DIL announced a pg on a family WhatsApp Group. I'd be surprised if they announced it before 12 weeks.

I hope DH and I would be rather more enthusiastic than our parents were.

On my second pregnancy, MIL actually said that " she wasn't going to congratulate me". She's a horrible person though and tried to ruin anything we achieved or were excited about. Can't remember FIL every commenting on any of my pregnancies or the birth of his grandchildren. I am no contact with both after many years of their abuse. DH is very, very low contact, as in he visits for an hour on Christmas morning. My children don't visit and don't want anything to do with them.

How are they as grandparents op? I mean if they are interested in your first baby and doting grandparents or are they just a bit distant and uninvolved? Maybe, they just aren't that bothered, they've been there and done that. Maybe also they don't feel old enough to be grandparents yet?

I don’t think there is the same level of interest in a second baby, which you should be grateful for as, according to mumsnet, in-laws should keep their distance and not be over-involved..

You didn’t think the news was significant enough to tell them in person. They didn’t think it was significant enough to comment in person.

I've consciously stopped commenting on any family announcements on social media precisely because too many people get so worked up about what to me is trivia. Ironically, the worst offenders are, by a long way, our three daughters-in-law who obsessively keep score over whose children get the most likes and comments. We've been temporarily unfriended for nothing more than not liking a post, probably because we didn't see it. I've given up hoping they might grow up and just don't engage on SM at all. You're a parent, yet you're acting like a child. Put the petted lip away.

Agreed.

Also if you were seeing them in 2 weeks then it seems quite pointed you wouldn't wait to share it with them in person to be honest.

This. YABVU.

@Grumpynan 😧

It could be that you didn’t tell them in person, or simply you didn’t make a comment about it when you saw them. Next time you see them drop the baby into the conversation, you might get a response then

at least you didn’t get the response I got from MIL she took me to one side and mentioned it wasn’t to late to get rid of it !

I'm sure they'll be happy when the baby is here. Don't fret about it.

If they weren't bothered the first time why would they be this time?

Babies are a huge deal for the parents but honestly most other people aren't that interested.

This. I don't know what more you want.

Yabu. They already congratulated you over Whatsapp. The baby is not here yet.

Yabu. They already congratulated you over Whatsapp. The baby is not here yet.

Maybe they are waiting for baby to arrive safely. Your MIL responded in kind by saying "lovely news" so I don't see the issue tbh

How much are they involved and interested in your 1st?
Paternal in laws usually get the short straw in favour of maternal parents.

You told them over WhatsApp.
They replied over WhatsApp.
Had you told them in person they might well have congratulated you in person.

Sometimes people feel it’s bad luck to comment on an early pregnancy? Could be that.
or, like many parents of adults they’ve kind of checked out of family life and entered the ‘selfish era’. It happens.