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AIBU?

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Original poster

Grown Men Dating Teenagers

457 replies

ReallyDubious · 05/05/2024 21:57

I have a male acquaintance who expressed a really concerning opinion about age gap relationships. He thinks that it is ok for a much older man to date younger women and teenagers as 'some women (or girls) are more mature than others'. Although I agree with that in principle, I do not agree that a teenager is ever mature enough to date a grown man.

He said he dated 'mature' teens when he was in his 40s and I'm seriously revolted at the thought. AIBU to think there is something seriously wrong with this man?

OP posts:
Loubelle70 · 05/05/2024 22:19

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/05/2024 22:17

Men always think girls and women are more mature when it comes to them having sex, but never when it comes to running companies, ruling countries or making decisions.

I wonder why...

🤣 bang on. Oh the patriarchy and entitlement

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/05/2024 22:17

Men always think girls and women are more mature when it comes to them having sex, but never when it comes to running companies, ruling countries or making decisions.

I wonder why...

Loubelle70 · 05/05/2024 22:15

Ctd: now im older i see it as pretty weird that someone 14 yrs older was interested in me at 17... whether i saw myself mature or not. There was also a lot ..i mean a lot of older men after teenagers. I find it very wrong now and question massively the intentions of the older man.

Upinthenightagain · 05/05/2024 22:13

@Foxblue thanks for that. I don’t have to read the whole thread now 🤣
OP yes there’s something bloody wrong with.

Loubelle70 · 05/05/2024 22:13

Foxblue · 05/05/2024 22:11

You aren't wrong, but someone will be along to say that they moved out at 17, and had a toddler and their own flat and were very mature for their age at 19 when they met their DH who was then 32 but 'has always been young at heart' and took on a toddler as his own and they are happily married 25 years later with two more kids blah blah.
And if you ask what they/DH would think of. their 19 year old daughter dating a 32 year old man they'll go 'well, that was different, i was very mature for my age'
And they'll say 'I pursued him actually, not the other way round'
And they'll say 'its only on mumsnet that people think age gaps are weird, my parents were worried at first but they grew to love DH and noone else in our lives found it weird'
And if you ask them if at age 32 they found 19 year old men attractive it's tumbleweed....

I must say i agree with everything you put....im that person... and you're right

Foxblue · 05/05/2024 22:11

You aren't wrong, but someone will be along to say that they moved out at 17, and had a toddler and their own flat and were very mature for their age at 19 when they met their DH who was then 32 but 'has always been young at heart' and took on a toddler as his own and they are happily married 25 years later with two more kids blah blah.
And if you ask what they/DH would think of. their 19 year old daughter dating a 32 year old man they'll go 'well, that was different, i was very mature for my age'
And they'll say 'I pursued him actually, not the other way round'
And they'll say 'its only on mumsnet that people think age gaps are weird, my parents were worried at first but they grew to love DH and noone else in our lives found it weird'
And if you ask them if at age 32 they found 19 year old men attractive it's tumbleweed....

Original poster
ReallyDubious · 05/05/2024 21:59

And then of course there's the MASSIVE power imbalance in that sort of relationship!

OP posts: