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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who should pay for these tickets?

189 replies

Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 14:53

I was going to an event with Sarah and Philippa. I bought the tickets and they were meant to transfer the money.

Sarah then said her DH had arranged to see friends and so she could no longer come. Annoying, but okay. I asked Philippa if it would be okay if we offered the ticket to another mutual friend, Cheryl. Philippa said yes, but that she had seriously overspent so could no longer afford to come and so did I want to find someone else take her ticket too.

I was annoyed, and said I couldn’t think of anyone to take it but if she didn’t want to come just send the money and don’t come. She said she’d send it when she was paid. Meanwhile, Cheryl and I went for drinks with Jessica, mentioned there was a spare ticket, and Jessica said she’d like to come.

So Cheryl, Jessica and I went to the event. I have been paid for the tickets by no one.

Who should pay?

YABU - Cheryl and Jessica
YANBU - Sarah and Philippa

OP posts:
Mnetcurious · 05/05/2024 15:41

The people who went to the concert, obviously! (Assuming you didn’t tell them they wouldn’t have to pay and then that was the reason they went).
If you hadn’t found replacements then the original two should pay as they’d agreed to that when you went and booked so you’d be out of pocket because they changed their minds.

TheIceQween · 05/05/2024 15:40

Essentially you paid for the tickets so they were your property. It makes sense that the 2 attendees should pay. I’m honestly baffled that they expected to go for free. I’d always offer if I was in that situation. If they’d have done that then maybe you wouldn’t be in this pickle

Original poster
Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 15:40

Coconutter24 · 05/05/2024 15:36

Then this is really your fault and problem to solve. You can’t expect to give away tickets (that you paid for) and still expect original people to pay. You should have been clear to the two that got to go the tickets cost X amount if they’d like them. If you were not prepared to do that then unfortunately you have to take the loss.

Show quote history

If I’d not asked Cheryl and Jessica then I wouldn’t be taking as big of a loss because Sarah and Philippa would have had to pay. As they agreed to do.

OP posts:
Coconutter24 · 05/05/2024 15:36

Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 15:30

No mention of money.

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Then this is really your fault and problem to solve. You can’t expect to give away tickets (that you paid for) and still expect original people to pay. You should have been clear to the two that got to go the tickets cost X amount if they’d like them. If you were not prepared to do that then unfortunately you have to take the loss.

DelphiniumBlue · 05/05/2024 15:36

And now I think Sarah should pay too. It's not fair to expect you to be the money collector after saying she'd pay, and she made no mention of asking to be reimbursed if you did find someone to take her ticket. We all know it's much harder to find someone to pay face value for a ticket - but she was was prepared to spoil your night out by not coming ( as did P) - they would have left you going on your ones and paying for their unused tickets! So yes Sarah Phillippa should both pay, as they agreed.
If they want to take it u with the C & J, then that's up to them

Testina · 05/05/2024 15:35

I said in a group chat ‘is it okay if Cheryl has the spare ticket to the event’.

That’s not at all clear, Susan could easily interpret as that you’ve found someone to buy it from you. I’d assume that. That let her off the hook.

I get your annoyance with them, they’re clearly flakey. But I’m sorry, it does look like you made S&P think you’d found people who would buy them from you - whilst giving those people the impression they were free.

Testina · 05/05/2024 15:34

I said in a group chat ‘is it okay if Cheryl has the spare ticket to the event’.

That’s not at all clear, Susan could easily that you’ve found someone to buy it from you. That let her off the hook.

I get your annoyance with them, they’re clearly flakey. But I’m sorry, it does look like you made S&P think you’d found people who would buy them from you - whilst giving those people the impression they were free.

Original poster
Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 15:34

Floralnomad · 05/05/2024 15:33

Then you have to pay , you cannot decide to give something away and still expect the others to pay .

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I didn’t decide, I asked if it was okay if Cheryl and Jessica had the spare tickets. If I was selling tickets that belonged to me I wouldn’t have asked.

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 05/05/2024 15:33

Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 15:30

No mention of money.

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Then you have to pay , you cannot decide to give something away and still expect the others to pay .

Wafflefudge · 05/05/2024 15:32

I think you'd have been better off saying is it OK if I give away your tickets for free so it was clear.

Wafflefudge · 05/05/2024 15:31

The original two probably assumed you were selling tickets on. I think that it what most people would do. You didn't really word it like you were selling them on but I can see it wasn't clear either way.

DelphiniumBlue · 05/05/2024 15:31

Although Phillippa clearly said she would pay, even after saying she couldn't come, so she still should pay.
" Hi P, hope you've been paid now, my bank details are.."

Original poster
Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 15:30

DelphiniumBlue · 05/05/2024 15:28

But did they think the tickets were free? Or was there no mention of money?

No mention of money.

OP posts:
DelphiniumBlue · 05/05/2024 15:28

But did they think the tickets were free? Or was there no mention of money?

Original poster
Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 15:27

DelphiniumBlue · 05/05/2024 15:26

But did C & J think they were getting free tickets? Because if they did, it's not fair to ask them after the event if it wasn't mentioned before.

I wouldn’t ask them, I’d be mortified.

OP posts:
DelphiniumBlue · 05/05/2024 15:26

But did C & J think they were getting free tickets? Because if they did, it's not fair to ask them after the event if it wasn't mentioned before.

Original poster
Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 15:26

PoppingTomorrow · 05/05/2024 15:24

Well they were spare and still belonged to you if noone else had bought them from you?

Once Sarah and Philippa weren't going they were unlikely to pay you if they hadn't already. They're certainly not going to pay you knowing that 2 other people have had use of the tickets!

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They were ‘bought’ on behalf of Sarah and Philippa. I’m not a ticket resale service.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 15:24

DelphiniumBlue · 05/05/2024 15:20

It depends if Cheryl & Jessica thought they were being offered free tickets or not.
There's a lot of things I'd go and see if I was being offered a free ticket, but that I wouldn't want to pay for...
It also depends how much the tickets were - £20 is different to £80, which what some bands seem to be charging at the moment, and if that was spelt out to C & J.

It was not a lot of money and it’s easily written off. It just annoys me that Sarah and Philippa said they’d pay, didn’t, then dropped out for spurious reasons.

I’m also clouded in my view because they’re both tight and would’ve hassled me for repayment the second they’d paid.

OP posts:
PoppingTomorrow · 05/05/2024 15:24

Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 15:00

Because I don’t think they should have to. Sarah and Philippa agreed to pay for the tickets and didn’t. Once they dropped out the tickets were spare, not on re-sale. If I had to drop out I’d still pay for my ticket but be happy for someone else to use it for free rather than lying unused.

Show quote history

Well they were spare and still belonged to you if noone else had bought them from you?

Once Sarah and Philippa weren't going they were unlikely to pay you if they hadn't already. They're certainly not going to pay you knowing that 2 other people have had use of the tickets!

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 05/05/2024 15:22

Trickabrick · 05/05/2024 15:02

I find your logic odd - you managed to find two others to go along to the event so all the “ifs” are irrelevant. It isn’t your place decide that Cheryl and Jessica get their tickets for free while Sarah and Phillipa pay for an event they didn’t attend.

Yup🙂

Floralnomad · 05/05/2024 15:20

You should have checked that the second pair knew they were having to pay , you cannot at this stage expect the first pair to pay for the other 2 to have a freebie .

DelphiniumBlue · 05/05/2024 15:20

It depends if Cheryl & Jessica thought they were being offered free tickets or not.
There's a lot of things I'd go and see if I was being offered a free ticket, but that I wouldn't want to pay for...
It also depends how much the tickets were - £20 is different to £80, which what some bands seem to be charging at the moment, and if that was spelt out to C & J.

TheIceQween · 05/05/2024 15:20

S&P to pay you, C&J to pay S&P - Long ass winded way round of doing it? But it’s logically how it should look

Original poster
Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 15:20

StormingNorman · 05/05/2024 15:16

What did you say to Cheryl and Jessica when you offered them the tickets? Did you let them know they’d be expected to pay?

I said there was a spare ticket if they wanted to come.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 15:18

Testina · 05/05/2024 15:13

It really depends exactly how you worded it to everyone.
If you made it sound like you had another taker for the ticket (both times) and it was your poor communication that made the S&P think C&J were now paying for them, but made C&J think they were free spares - then that’s on you.
If you made S&P feel they were off the hook, they didn’t have the chance to say, “wait up - if C/J don’t want to pay towards them, I’ll ask around for someone who will.”

C&J might think you were already paid for them so their free ticket wasn’t costing you. If they know you’re out of pocket, and aren’t giving a contribution that’s poor behaviour. But then if you didn’t make that clear and they genuinely don’t have the budget and wouldn’t have gone if they’d known, it’s unfair to expect it now.

So it all depends exactly what you said to everyone!

Just checked the wording.

I said in a group chat ‘is it okay if Cheryl has the spare ticket to the event’.

Then Philippa asked if anyone wanted hers, then I said I couldn’t think of anyone. Then when Jessica said she’d come I sent the same message.

OP posts: