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AIBU?

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Original poster

Who should pay for these tickets?

189 replies

Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 14:53

I was going to an event with Sarah and Philippa. I bought the tickets and they were meant to transfer the money.

Sarah then said her DH had arranged to see friends and so she could no longer come. Annoying, but okay. I asked Philippa if it would be okay if we offered the ticket to another mutual friend, Cheryl. Philippa said yes, but that she had seriously overspent so could no longer afford to come and so did I want to find someone else take her ticket too.

I was annoyed, and said I couldn’t think of anyone to take it but if she didn’t want to come just send the money and don’t come. She said she’d send it when she was paid. Meanwhile, Cheryl and I went for drinks with Jessica, mentioned there was a spare ticket, and Jessica said she’d like to come.

So Cheryl, Jessica and I went to the event. I have been paid for the tickets by no one.

Who should pay?

YABU - Cheryl and Jessica
YANBU - Sarah and Philippa

OP posts:
Original poster
Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 16:29

Crunchymum · 05/05/2024 16:21

90% of almost 300 posters disgaree with you OP!!

😂 Thanks for this. It does say so at the top of the page, but thanks for the update I suppose.

It’s really not something to get yourself too invested in.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 16:27

Crunchymum · 05/05/2024 16:18

Did you explicitly say "okay well I've found people to take the tickets, but I still need you to pay" Otherwise the assumption would have been that J&P were paying?

(And quite frankly if I were S or P I'd have assumed the same or if I'd been told I was still liable for the ticket I'd have told you I wasn't paying and you need to charge J&C)

Anyway @Ppejfhfhrhhfhf it seems abundantly clear you think you're in the right despite being told by most posters that you aren't, so I'll bow out now.

Edited
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In which case I’d have said none of us would go and they still had to pay. Mind blowing that you think it’s okay to promise to pay for a ticket then decide you don’t have to because you’ve changed your mind.

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 05/05/2024 16:21

90% of almost 300 posters disgaree with you OP!!

Original poster
Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 16:21

MurielThrockmorton · 05/05/2024 16:12

I had someone's ticket a couple of weeks ago for a performance because she had to cancel, but she still paid for it. it isn't something I would've chosen to spend my money on, and actually I don't have much money at the moment because of ill health, but I went because my friend wanted somebody to go with. This is maybe slightly different from if it is something that you would've wanted to go to anyway but I'm not quite sure where you would draw the line.

This is absolutely how I think.

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 05/05/2024 16:18

Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 15:56

Well, I asked them if Cheryl and Jessica could have the spare tickets, not buy them.

Edited
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Did you explicitly say "okay well I've found people to take the tickets, but I still need you to pay" Otherwise the assumption would have been that J&P were paying?

(And quite frankly if I were S or P I'd have assumed the same or if I'd been told I was still liable for the ticket I'd have told you I wasn't paying and you need to charge J&C)

Anyway @Ppejfhfhrhhfhf it seems abundantly clear you think you're in the right despite being told by most posters that you aren't, so I'll bow out now.

Whaleandsnail6 · 05/05/2024 16:17

I think The original people should have immediately paid you the money for the tickets. And then, I think when you did find people to go in their place, you should have made it clear to them to pay for the tickets and then refund the original people.

I think its been made difficult by not asking the replacement people at the time to pay for their tickets.

madameparis · 05/05/2024 16:14

This is why I never pay for anything for a group unless everyone is ready to pay the same day.

fieldsofbutterflies · 05/05/2024 16:13

Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 16:05

What should I have done? Not asked if anyone wanted to use them and not have went, wasting three tickets?

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You should have asked Sarah and Phillipa for the money before buying the tickets IMO.

Original poster
Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 16:12

mrsm43s · 05/05/2024 16:04

But this was ambiguous, as money wasn't mentioned. It would be normal for the attendees to pay, so I imagine Phillipa and Sarah expected Cheryl and Jessica to pay. It's really odd that you think that Philippa and Sarah should pay for your choice to give the tickets away for free. Cheryl and Jessica are tight CFs if they didn't insist on paying for their tickets, and if they did offer and you refused payment, then it's up to you to pay.

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They’re both the polar opposite of tight CFs. I would never ask either of them for £15 and they’d never ask me.

Sarah and Philippa, however, would ask you for 50p to split the cost of the pound for the trolley.

I suppose I should’ve posted asking if Sarah and Philippa are unreasonable, because Cheryl and Jessica aren’t being.

I think the big takeaway is how people view tickets they’ve paid for (or agreed to pay for) and not used. I would never expect to be reimbursed, but it seems I’m in the minority, so maybe Sarah and Philippa assume I have been. I still think they should’ve sent the money though, and well before they dropped out.

OP posts:
MurielThrockmorton · 05/05/2024 16:12

I had someone's ticket a couple of weeks ago for a performance because she had to cancel, but she still paid for it. it isn't something I would've chosen to spend my money on, and actually I don't have much money at the moment because of ill health, but I went because my friend wanted somebody to go with. This is maybe slightly different from if it is something that you would've wanted to go to anyway but I'm not quite sure where you would draw the line.

TheIceQween · 05/05/2024 16:12

Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 15:52

We booked in February. The event was this week. Sarah dropped out with a week to spare and Philippa with four days.

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That fact that this was booked in February and you didn’t get paid by the original 2 attendees is also 🤯

Testina · 05/05/2024 16:11

Allfur · 05/05/2024 16:08

The people who caused the problem are the flakey fuckers who originally pulled out

They’re flakey fuckers for sure - but it was OP who caused the problem.

WallaceinAnderland · 05/05/2024 16:11

Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 16:05

What should I have done? Not asked if anyone wanted to use them and not have went, wasting three tickets?

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You should have been clear to everyone.

You weren't; hence the misunderstanding.

Testina · 05/05/2024 16:10

What should I have done? Not asked if anyone wanted to use them and not have went, wasting three tickets?

What you should have done is get the money immediately you bought the tickets.

But then you should have said, “Chezza, Susan’s ticket was £15 but she can’t come - do you want to come instead? Would be paid to me as Susan hasn’t transferred yet?”

If Cheryl said she was strapped for cash so actually no - you could have relayed to Susan that the “sale” had fallen through, and she would have had the chance to say, “someone may have the use, I’ve transferred you the money, tell Cheryl it’s on me!”

Of course you’ll say you’re not a ticket resell business… and I agree, but in this case you put yourself in the middle.

It’s really rude for S & P to leave you out of pocket… but there’s a really good chance that they have no idea that they have!!

Floralnomad · 05/05/2024 16:09

This is entirely your own fault . If you said to me ‘oh can Jessica have your ticket ‘ I would naturally assume that Jessica was going to pay for it , why would I be paying for Jessica to go anywhere ?

Allfur · 05/05/2024 16:08

The people who caused the problem are the flakey fuckers who originally pulled out

TheMerryWidow1 · 05/05/2024 16:08

You made the mistake of not getting the money off the 1st 2 people even before they pulled out, as they owed u since Feb.

BrieHugger · 05/05/2024 16:08

You’ve messed up by not being clear. Do they know each other? If so I’d set up a group chat and if nobody offers to pay just point out it’s cost you triple to go.

Original poster
Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 16:05

WallaceinAnderland · 05/05/2024 15:58

I think you have caused the problem by letting others use the tickets. In effect you are asking 2 people to pay for something that 2 other people used.

What should I have done? Not asked if anyone wanted to use them and not have went, wasting three tickets?

OP posts:
mrsm43s · 05/05/2024 16:04

Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 15:56

Well, I asked them if Cheryl and Jessica could have the spare tickets, not buy them.

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But this was ambiguous, as money wasn't mentioned. It would be normal for the attendees to pay, so I imagine Phillipa and Sarah expected Cheryl and Jessica to pay. It's really odd that you think that Philippa and Sarah should pay for your choice to give the tickets away for free. Cheryl and Jessica are tight CFs if they didn't insist on paying for their tickets, and if they did offer and you refused payment, then it's up to you to pay.

Original poster
Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 16:03

Longma · 05/05/2024 15:56

It depends on how the second set of people were invited. Were they told the price before agreeing to come? Or did they just assume it was free to them? Why wasn't who was paying not clarified before the event?

It's flaky of the original buyers. They should have paid or asked you if you knew anyone who wanted to buy the tickets from them.

It should have been the original buyers unless the second people offered then were asked to go knowing the cost.

Did the original buyers ask you to offer the tickets for free to others? Or did they ask you to sell them?

Neither in Sarah’s case. Philippa asked if I knew anyone who ‘wanted’ hers because she couldn’t afford the taxi etc.

OP posts:
Testina · 05/05/2024 16:02

Well, I asked them if Cheryl and Jessica could have the spare tickets, not buy them

Oh come on! Surely you can see that “have” can mean “have for free” or “have for money”.

Especially with Susan - because it made sense that you’d be checking with Phillippa about Cheryl coming, in case Phillippa didn’t want her there. (when Philippa was still coming?)

I interpreted “can Cheryl have the ticket” as “so we OK with Cheryl joining?” not “shall I just give the ticket away for free?”

From all your follow up posts, it’s really your communication that caused this.

As of right now, S & P probably think you were paid for them by C & J!

Allfur · 05/05/2024 16:02

Both original mates outrageous, but especially the later one

Wafflefudge · 05/05/2024 16:02

OK based on the timeline the original two should have already paid way before this became an issue. And them when you asked to give to someone else they would have already paid and they could then say yes but can you ask if they'll pay half or something or just give them away.
They shouldn't have left you out of pocket fir two months.

Original poster
Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 16:01

hottchocolatte · 05/05/2024 15:55

They’re not. I don’t care about the money, I care about Sarah and Philippa promising to pay for tickets and not doing so.

But you'd found people to take the tickets so S & P might not have expected to pay.

What are you going to do?

how much did they cost?

I’m just going to whinge about it and do nothing.

They were £15. Which I suppose adds to my skepticism that Philippa suddenly couldn’t afford it.

OP posts: