Hes Bent as a nine bob note

But from a historical context, when certain sexual acts were illegal - in fact, I believe they were so even when done by a heterosexual couple - you can see how the juxtaposition could have come about.

Regardless of how the law may have changed drastically in the modern day, if 'bent' was then understood to mean 'regularly and habitually breaking the law', would it have technically made a difference which then-applicable law(s) the person was regularly breaking?

It was definitely a term used about gay people too.

I’m old enough to remember the ten shilling or ten ‘bob’ note! £1 pre-decimal was the same as 20 shillings, so 10 bob was the equivalent of 50p nowadays. The nine bob note analogy stems from that.

Yes. Gay men were also referred to as benders, although it (and bent) is not a term I’ve heard used since the 80s. Very outdated.

Call it in. Why do you need to say that? Why is that relevant? Etc

My father (I don’t speak to him any more) says ‘you have an Arab mentality’ or tells anyone he disagrees that argues back that they are ‘being an Arab’ or ‘using your Arab side of the brain’. I looked up Arab mentality at aged 14 or something and found it meant honour, generosity etc and so I called him out every time - he will say he’s a feminist (apart from calling anyone with a short skirt a slut) or anyone of colour (a blackie) etc and say he is just stating facts etc and he will argue he is not a racist.

So call it in every time and if he won’t stop you have a choice - walk out every time or tolerate it. I wouldn’t. But I can’t stand it.

It may be regional as in Scotland it was definitely used to refer to people who were gay not dodgy in a doing things illegal sense. Bent = gay, or used to in the 80s at least where i lived.

Again, not acceptable today but this whole "well it doesn't even MEAN gay" - yes it did.

Another one who grew up hearing this used as a reference to criminality. Double annoying from your homophobic relative.

He will probably say it all the more if you pull him up on it, or something like it being a free country/freedom of speech. These old sayings are often offensive by today's standards, eventually they will die out.

I've always heard "he's as straight as a five pound note" which explicitly refers to sexuality

It means bent as in crooked - like a forged banknote, which a 9-shilling note would be, as no such note ever existed legitimately. It makes no sense when applied to sexuality, so your relative is both homophobic and a bit thick, which is a frequent combination, I find.

Every time he says it, laugh and say “ Oh grandad, no one says that any more , we say “ gay”, you sound about 90, get with the times “ .

Then keep repeating it ( in a slightly Patronising tone if necessary ) “Don’t you remember grandpa , we told you about this before , I think you need to speak to the doctor, your memory is going “.

IME the “ politically correct “ argument doesn’t work with older people and they can double down. But the “ are you getting dementia” one does .

You could say 'Yes, isn't it marvellous that people are free to be themselves these days?'.

My dps and pils have a stock of awkward phrases and I find it’s very effective to ask what that means, because when they tease out the meaning of the idiom they have to think about what they’re saying and how their current views align (or not) with older phrases.

We are all products of our cultures. I hope my dc will continue to challenge me too.

Tell them to pack it in. It's not acceptable and saying so is important.

As an aside I also thought that saying meant crooked. On the take.

I’ve always thought this, nothing to do with being gay (although sounds like it has duel meaning).

Its a phrase I use but in regards to something (or someone) fake/scam/fraudulent.

Its not nice to use it in regards to a persons sexulity, although it used to be.

I would point out it's not a nice thing to say about a person's sexuality, and any case what does it matter anyway nowadays?

It used to mean gay, as well as crooked.

I'd still call him out on it in the tone of "I don't think that means what you think it means" it'll embarrassed him and he'll have to explain that no he is calling some one gay. Might make him think twice before using it again.

It's something my dad (who would have been 80 this year) used to commonly say about people like Larry Grayson or Kenneth Williams in the early 80s. He grew up as a teen at a time when being gay was illegal (or at least gay sex was).

Not acceptable nowadays though.

Of course you’re not unreasonable to be annoyed by homophobia. Or irritating relatives in general.

Wow, not heard that for years. Yes, both bad and gay.

Instead of coming here to do abit of virtue signalling, why don’t you tell them you’re getting fed up with it?

In my neck of the woods, ‘bent as a nine Bob note’ means has criminal tendencies! Whereas the term ‘camp’ would be seen as homophobic.

It does mean bad ... no
Such thing as a 9 Bob note, so if you saw one it would be illegal, it's a bit like saying it's as bent as a 90p piece ... no such thing so it's illegal

Maybe you should say back to them 'takes one to know one...' and see how that affects them!