Hes Bent as a nine bob note

When I was growing up bent meant gay - I always thought it was just the opposite of straight but haven't heard it for a long time. I wonder why straight is a completely normal, accepted term that people use all the time (but what is basically the opposite of straight) ie bent is unacceptable. Is it because bent implies broken? Is it because of the 'nine bob' thing that was also used as a term for criminals? Is it because it harks back to a time when being gay was illegal?

You're not wrong. It's an old fashioned saying now, but it meant bent as in corrupt.

How many programmes with gay people are you watching with him to make it worthy of a thread. If you're watching that many I'd be wondering about his sexuality tbh.

It’s a phrase I’d use watching Line of Duty. Bent cops, totally fine usage of it.
In the context of gay people it’s homophobic and I wouldn’t want to hear it either.

I think we've established so far at least that it can mean both things. Certainly in the slang where I grew up (Edinburgh), someone described as "a bender" or "bent" meant a gay man. We don't refer to the police as "coppers" here in general, that's a very English term to my ears.

At the risk of being flamed, I wouldn’t get too wound up by that sort of thing. We’re far too concerned with the language people use. Whether or not someone is PC doesn’t really bother me. What really counts is the heart. I’d much prefer some old guy who said “chap in my regiment was a poof…never turned my back on him in the showers, haha…still, we all loved Johnny, and any one of us would have stood by him if he’d been attacked in a pub.” OK, it’s unpleasant, old school language, but I much prefer people who are not PC but are kind-hearted to people who are PC but just pretend to care because they think it makes them look good. I don’t judge people on what they say, or even on what they do, but on what they are. It takes time, but after a while you get a sense of someone’s ‘soul’ or character. And that’s what counts.

My brother votes Reform and dislikes mass immigration. He will often say things like “it’s boatloads of young men. I don’t believe they’re refugees at all” etc. But I know him. I know that if he was confronted, face to face, with a young girl who’d fled Afghanistan and ended up sleeping in his local park, he would do anything to help her. His heart is good. He’s kind and honourable. I can think of someone else, however, who reads the Guardian and walks round with a sulky, holier than thou attitude, but is vile. She hasn’t an ounce of genuine sympathy for anyone. If some old guy in her street was widowed and alone, it wouldn’t occur to her to pop round and cook him a meal. She wouldn’t give a shit. Her ‘goodness’ is all a pose.

Bertrand Russell, the philosopher, said that his grandmother (a puritanical Victorian) refused to believe that someone who swore could still be a good man. We seem to be returning to the same kind of Puritanism. But ours is a kind of metropolitan liberal Puritanism - use the correct PC language and express the correct PC views or you can’t be a good person. To some extent you have to tolerate intolerance. It’s the price we pay for freedom. And you have to tolerate the fact that not everyone likes every other group of human beings. We all have prejudices and dislikes. It would be very strange if we didn’t.

Rather a gay man

Shocked that some posters don't seem to be aware that being sexually active as a gay person was an offence until very recently. Until 1967 in this country.

Think he mixing up ‘a bender’ with the phrase for dishonest person, eg. A 9 bob note is not legal tender and is a counterfeit that’s been printed wrong.

Being of that generation I can say it always meant gay

Never heard of it used as relating to criminals

No. It absolutely meant gay

Or I see your gaydar is workin😉

He’s not even using the expression correctly. I remember my uncle being prone to the following comments back in the 80s.

’he’s more camp than a row of pink tents’
’more camp than Baden Powell’

Sometimes he’d even go with ‘ooh he seems like a nice boy’.

He meant no harm but looking back it was somewhat cringe.

So what does he say when you call him out on his homophobia?

Just ask them why they seem to be so good at spotting gay people.

Me too!

remember Homosexuality in the 60’s was illegal & you could be put in prison for it. So fits both criminal & gay scenario's.

Haven't heard that since I was a child in the 70s when it meant bent as in criminal tendencies.

Is your relative very very old @Pleasehelpmefindagoodusername

Obviously homosexual slurs are never on, but as "bobs" went out in the early 70s I've never heard anyone other than my long dead grandparents who used bobs use it. (and as I said, about criminals)

My MiL used to say "silly bitch" whenever there was a strong female character in a tv show. Absolutely hated female detectives in particular but it could be any woman doing a "man's job".

We lived with our inlaws so I ended up leaving the room when she'd get like this because I wanted to turn and say she was the silly bitch for being so backward. I didn't because other than this she was a lovely individual. But it did make me wonder what she thought of me as I've never been a shrinking violet.

Have you challenged him?

I've heard the terms "Gay as a yellow duster" and "As gay as Christmas" used by gay people themselves to describe levels of gayness. Neither has the negative impact of "bent".

Might you suggest one of these if he absolutely must?

I’m in my 60s and can remember “bent as a coat hanger” being used for gay men but haven’t heard it since the early 90s.

I would think it was more commonly used to mean a criminal.

I've personally never heard it used in this manner, to me it means a wrong un.

Me too

Anyway the correct 😉 phrase is as camp as a row of pink tents