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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think others don’t have to put up with this degree of emotional blackmail from parents?

58 replies

Struggling33 · 04/05/2024 23:13

Said when I was growing up: ‘Your father is going to have a heart attack and die any day and it will all be your fault because you’re such a difficult child.’

Honestly, is this just the sort of thing parents say sometimes in the heat of the moment? Or is it really not acceptable?

I ask because I feel pretty affected by it. Yet I genuinely don’t know whether I’m oversensitive or whether my feelings are justified.

OP posts:
Porridgewithhoneyandbannana · 05/05/2024 00:13

LunaTheCat · 04/05/2024 23:21

Parents in the 70’s used to say all that sort of stuff constantly- it was considered normal.

Yes I grew up in the seventies and honestly parents could do whatever they wanted to you / abuse you and nobody checked/cared. I'm not sure if social services existed back then. Certainly you didn't approach teachers with personal problems or call helplines. They also smoked round us, drove us round without seatbelts, gave us a bath once a week and fed us minimal poor quality food.

The whole 'children should be seen and not heard' was still rife. Smacking was absolutely normal.

I think there were alot of cruel parents in the seventies that all went on under the radar so to speak.

Original poster
Struggling33 · 04/05/2024 23:29

LunaTheCat · 04/05/2024 23:21

Parents in the 70’s used to say all that sort of stuff constantly- it was considered normal.

This was a bit later but interesting that you say that.

OP posts:
LunaTheCat · 04/05/2024 23:21

Parents in the 70’s used to say all that sort of stuff constantly- it was considered normal.

Supersimkin2 · 04/05/2024 23:19

Nah, that’s abusive.

Maninthemoonsmiles · 04/05/2024 23:19

It’s a cruel and frightening thing to say to a child. You are not being oversensitive. I was told I would be put in a home for difficult children by my DM. It’s a legacy that never really leaves you but you have to believe in yourself OP and meet your own needs so it has less power.

SpeedwellBlue · 04/05/2024 23:19

No. Its a vindictive thing to say.

quietlifeneeded · 04/05/2024 23:19

my mum used to tell us... if it wasnt for us kids, she'd kill herself! imagine how that makes you feel growing up

AllTheWatersTurnedToClouds · 04/05/2024 23:17

No, that’s an awful thing to say to a child.