To think parents encourage SOME little girls to be

I think my parents forgot to teach me to be ladylike 😂

You what?

What is lady like?

What specifically were you taught?

There was the BBC documentary a while back which recorded teachers and nursery nurses playing with toddlers. The researchers had about 12 children aged approximately one year old. They dressed the boys in traditional girls clothing and vice versa. The biased behaviour towards the children shocked the adults who did not realise how sexist their attitudes towards little children manifested in interaction with the toddlers.
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20210524-the-gender-biases-that-shape-our-brains

The one I remember from school is always sitting with your knees together while the boys could sprawl as they wished, hence "manspreading"

Everyone knows it's because girls are made of sugar and spice and all things nice and boys are made of slugs and snails and puppy dog tails.

I was just remembering that. Pink babies were cradled and told they were pretty, blue babies were held more upright so they could see the world, and told they were a handsome big boy.

But what qualities specifically are 'lady like' and more important for girls to have than boys?

What does 'lady like' mean? Particularly in relation to a child?

What behaviour is 'lady like' and in your opinion therefore important to encourage in a female child and not a male child?

Genuinely curious as I haven't heard someone use that turn of phrase from someone under 70 or so but it sounds like you have children you're raising now so are presumably much younger.

I was bought up to be lady like, as were my sisters, cousins. we all are very happy adults.

In my opinion it's the other way around. There were a lot of mummy's boys at playgroups and nursery. Even primary. I'll always remember this mum nuzzling and snuggling her tweenage boy on the tube in front of everyone. I'm not sure how he didn't tell her to get off mum!! .

I work with age 3 to 5 and definitely there is a delicate type of girl. Usually 2 or 3 every year of about 12 girls. These types fuss about their clothes, dont like playing with boys (even gentle ones) and don't like being dirty. They usually are dressed beautifully with nice hair and talk about getting nails painted and getting make up sets for gifts. I genuinely don't know if this type is created or innate. I think they are naturally that way inclined but if they are indulged they become more that way. They are usually very quiet well behaved kids and the mothers are very well presented.

"Lady like and gentle."

Share, don't raise your voice, don't swear, help others, don't fight, don't argue and smile.

Just be nice.

It's upbringing like this that lead me into a heart attack and suicidal depression at fifty years of age.

Leads to people pleasing tendencies and a whole host of other issues.

Four months of cognitive behaviour therapy, I've had to go through to be taught how to be assertive and stop blaming myself for everybody else's choices and behaviours.

Sod, lady like.

Lady like? really?

There’s a fascinating video where babies were dressed in blue and pink then recorded interactions with adult carers.

Same baby dressed in blue v pink was treated differently.

They’ve done studies to show that people rush over to little girls faster than boys when they fall over. Disclaimer: heard that when my kids were little, no idea if it’s true. It does chime with what I used to see in the playground though.

A group of 10 of my son's class (Reception) went to an activity after school yesterday. It was an even split between boys and girls but the girls were absolutely feral. The boys were all sat quietly listening and following instructions while the girls wound each either up, hit each other with balloons etc. It was fascinating to watch!

When DD was little most of this came from some parents of boys.

"Careful darling she's delicate,like a flower."
"Oh you can't play with her like you do with x, she's a girl."
"Oh , she won't want to play football, do this instead."

I actually snorted at that. Kid started climbing before she could even walk and still plays football at secondary. We also cut down on playdates at their house. I didn't want DD hearing (any more)stupid shite like that.

I think this happens to some boys and girls.

Good one 😂😂😂

I remember reading that pregnant women use different tones of voice to talk to their bump depending on whether it's a boy or a girl (if they know the sex obviously!). Gendered socialisation starts very young.

I have always taught my boys to be gentle though, never used the phrase boys will be boys and one of my sons had a play baby and pram and kitchen that he loved. We did our best not to play into stereotypes but I'm sure we're all affected by societal expectations in all sorts of ways.

Also very interested to know what 'ladylike' is and how or why we should teach our girls to be it?

Any of the little girls I know are as tough as old boots. I find mums at play groups or whatever tend to hover more over their sons, not sure why.

I think it’s the opposite- the toddler boys are far more coddled by their mums.

What does 'ladylike' mean, please? In a 2024 context, obviously I understand the Victorian version.