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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for advice about right to privacy from our neighbours

138 replies

Colourofspring · 04/05/2024 14:12

I have posted about this before but the situation has got worse. We live in terraced housing with small back yards & our neighbour has built a massive garden room that fills the whole back yard pretty much and looks directly into my 12 year old daughters bedroom.

The neighbours have teenage boys and yesterday (and for the last few weekends) there have been large groups of teenage boys in the garden room looking straight into DD’s bedroom so she has to sit with her curtains drawn all the time. I feel like it’s not on on multiple accounts - it’s also really noisy and impossible to sit in our back yard quietly too but I am more bothered about how much of an invasion of privacy it is for my DD.

Aibu? Anyone got any advice? Am feeling pretty pissed off and resentful about it to be honest - I feel like our peace and privacy is being invaded. It’s really tricky in terraces anyway as it’s such a small space!’

OP posts:
MMUmum · 04/05/2024 19:56

We didn't need planning permission for our sun room but we still needed planning approval, there is a difference but it still means you have to let planning department know if the project is bug enough

Abouttimeforanamechange · 04/05/2024 17:53

if your budget can stretch, plant Leylandii trees,they grow tall and grow fast

Do not plant Leylandii in the small garden of a small terraced house!!!

Barleysugar86 · 04/05/2024 17:37

The tories really sold our rights down the river on these outbuildings- our neighbour just build one- 50% of the property land exactly so in practice fills the back garden space- listed as a 'gym' fitted out with shower toilet and kitchen. Council approved it without letting any consultation happen. Surprise surprise the beds are now moving in.

Noone is surprised its become an illegal london dwelling because the 'gym' completely wrecked the garden space of a terraced house which would make it pretty grim for a house, but the tory council DON"T CARE and I suspect even encourage it as the house is being used for emergency council housing so probably worthwhile for them to look the other way or allow it under the radar of permissions.

We reported that someone is living in the 'gym' but they say they can't tell so what are we meant to do? It's a noisy eyesore. With your neighbours its worth checking they did get planning permission OP by googling the address- and if it is right up to your boundary they will have needed to- but be warned the council just approves these without consult so its a box ticking exercise at best.

VeraForever · 04/05/2024 17:36

I'd be writing to the council with photos and asking them , outright, if this is 'permitted development.'

See what they say.

Coldupnorth87 · 04/05/2024 17:28

We have the security film, it's easy to put on and works really well. You can get nice patterns too. Really recommend it.

KatieB55 · 04/05/2024 17:24

Definitely speak to the planning Dept and ask them to visit your house to see impact.

dragonscannotswim · 04/05/2024 17:13

You could get one of those sails for the garden, put it up over the fence so the boys are just staring at the sail.

Your neighbours sounds like dicks.

wibblywobblywoo · 04/05/2024 17:06

Definitely contact the council for them to check the building has been constructed under all required limits.

Privacy film and daylight blinds can be installed tomorrow and will make DD feel better I'm sure.

Outside, bamboo fencing on poles will give immediate cover too and, if your budget can stretch, plant Leylandii trees,they grow tall and grow fast and, depending on budget, you can buy them quite tall to start with. You can trim them so they don't encroach on your space but just give cover from the fence line upwards.

MrsCarson · 04/05/2024 17:01

Hankunamatata · 04/05/2024 15:37

Privacy film. Either professionally done or DIY. Friend lives in a high street and she had it done. It's brilliant. Let's full light into her rooms but no one can see in. Though she does have funny situations of people doing their make up or hair.

That would be funny, you can watch people without them seeing you. 😂

Ponderingwindow · 04/05/2024 16:54

Dd has rainbow privacy film on her exposed bedroom window. Quite cute, let’s in plenty of light, but no one can see in.

CarrotSpa · 04/05/2024 16:49

I very much doubt teenage lads are staring in

Have you spent much time around teenage boys? They will be VERY interested in looking into a girl bedroom.

KikiShaLeeBopDeBopBop · 04/05/2024 16:49

Definitely report the building to Planning too. Get it assessed to ensure it meets regs for a permitted building.

CrotchetyQuaver · 04/05/2024 16:44

I'd put up some net/voile curtains for day time and make sure she closes her proper blind or curtains before getting undressed. I'd be pretty pissed of about this too, but I'm not sure there's a lot else you can do. Hopefully they'll get bored of hanging out there after a while.

ontheflighttosingapore · 04/05/2024 16:40

You just need to put up a blind that tilts they aren't expensive

boyohboys · 04/05/2024 16:32

Abracadabra12345 · 04/05/2024 16:26

Ooops! Pressed post by mistake

We ourselves have blinds but I love net curtains! I see some gorgeous ones when I walk past certain houses.

Voile / Muslim are nice too

Whilst I'm sure most Muslim's are nice, I'd suggest a muslin might be more effective for privacy purposes Grin

Abracadabra12345 · 04/05/2024 16:26

Ooops! Pressed post by mistake

We ourselves have blinds but I love net curtains! I see some gorgeous ones when I walk past certain houses.

Voile / Muslim are nice too

Abracadabra12345 · 04/05/2024 16:24

KikiShaLeeBopDeBopBop · 04/05/2024 16:21

This is why we grew up with net curtains. Modern day equivalents are blinds (venetian, slatted or sheer), privacy film or voile/muslin curtains (in addition to lined curtains).

I know net curtains are out of fashion and we purse

KikiShaLeeBopDeBopBop · 04/05/2024 16:21

This is why we grew up with net curtains. Modern day equivalents are blinds (venetian, slatted or sheer), privacy film or voile/muslin curtains (in addition to lined curtains).

tryingsomethingnew · 04/05/2024 16:19

Depends how friendly you are with them, but could you pop in, and check out whether they can actually see up when in there. Or if you're feeling confident, just say how lovely it is but that you're worried about how much can be seen into your DDs bedroom. Im sure they'd be mortified if they could see in and might be something they can do. Also, perhaps she can see more by standing at the window sill, but maybe they can't see (in) from down there- only the window. Rather than up and in

Fraggamama · 04/05/2024 16:15

Can you not put a fence up to block their view into your garden?

BobbyBiscuits · 04/05/2024 16:13

I bet it's not legal. I'd contact the planning department. If it takes up the whole back garden then it will be requiring planning permission. They can ask for it retrospectively, but then of course you could object. Though it's not anonymous. Is it effecting any other neighbours? It might be good to see if it is and get them on side. I guess obviously tall plants, grasses and stuff would cover it. I don't think you can try and demand they add anything on their side to shield you, I'd say it's better to see if it's meant to be there in the first place.

NigelHarmansNewWife · 04/05/2024 16:11

Sillyjane · 04/05/2024 14:20

If it’s permitted development there is little you can do. I very much doubt teenage lads are staring in. Put some one way film on the glass or put up voiles. I recall your previous thread, why didn’t you just do that then?

Really naive to think teenage lads won't look into a girl's bedroom!

Balloonhearts · 04/05/2024 16:08

Report to the council. Doesn't sound compliant to me.

tpmumtobe · 04/05/2024 16:08

You should be able to search your council's planning portal to check if they applied for a certificate of PD before they built it. If they're not listed, then report to the council.

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