Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

That The La Leche League have dangerously lost the plot?

238 replies

WandsOut · 04/05/2024 11:54

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13372909/breastfeeding-charity-bullying-trans-women-row.html

www.msn.com/en-nz/entertainment/music/breastfeeding-charity-suspends-trustees-who-want-to-ban-trans-women-from-its-services/ar-AA1nZKUU

They have always been inclusive of biological women who identify as trans men and also non binary.

But allowing men who identify as women into their sessions whilst vulnerable women are learning how to breastfeed? Seriously? And what about women like myself from a faith that doesn't permit men to be in intimate spaces with women? What about women like myself who are survivors of domestic abuse who had to learn to breastfeed whilst making symptoms of PTSD.
I don't want biological males hijacking these services for women!!!! It makes me feel unsafe, traumatised and afraid for my daughters.

Why is LLL suddenly falling over themselves to accommodate men with fetishes for lactation?

I feel like I'm going crazy when I read what's happening to places like LLL and Girl Guides.

Why are people so dangerously naive now?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Hunglikeapolevaulter · 13/11/2024 22:00

Does speaking about trans people in such derogatory terms make you feel better?

The terms are factual.
Babies are not and should not be a prop for men's validation.

DoreenonTill8 · 13/11/2024 22:00

BalletCat · 13/11/2024 21:59

If that's what you want to call it fine but that still isn't just a bloke who's wondered in off the street for an ogle, it's someone trying to breast feed their baby, which can be done which is why LLL is including them.

Does speaking about trans people in such derogatory terms make you feel better?

'Chest' feed their baby with what? Chemical fluids?

BalletCat · 13/11/2024 21:59

Hunglikeapolevaulter · 13/11/2024 21:54

They are living their lives as women and mothers to their babies.

How do you "live your life as a woman", beyond just being a woman? Surely they are living their lives as dysphoric or AGP men on cross-sex hormones?

If that's what you want to call it fine but that still isn't just a bloke who's wondered in off the street for an ogle, it's someone trying to breast feed their baby, which can be done which is why LLL is including them.

Does speaking about trans people in such derogatory terms make you feel better?

HaddyAbrams · 13/11/2024 21:59

BalletCat · 13/11/2024 21:52

By being transgender, transitioning from male to female and using hormone therapy to alter their body and become more feminine.

Trans women are not just blokes in dresses.

I keep being told by TRAs that male and female are the words for the biological sexes. So males cannot become females.

I personally don't think men can be women either, but ffs leave us some words of our own!

dementedpixie · 13/11/2024 21:58

BalletCat · 13/11/2024 21:52

By being transgender, transitioning from male to female and using hormone therapy to alter their body and become more feminine.

Trans women are not just blokes in dresses.

It's impossible to change from male to female and they will never live as a woman as they are men. They live as men pretending to be what they think a woman is

Hunglikeapolevaulter · 13/11/2024 21:54

They are living their lives as women and mothers to their babies.

How do you "live your life as a woman", beyond just being a woman? Surely they are living their lives as dysphoric or AGP men on cross-sex hormones?

BalletCat · 13/11/2024 21:52

By being transgender, transitioning from male to female and using hormone therapy to alter their body and become more feminine.

Trans women are not just blokes in dresses.

CarrotSpa · 13/11/2024 21:50

How exactly can men live their lives as women and mothers?

BalletCat · 13/11/2024 21:49

Christ the hysteria is strong here.

The biological males that everyone is ranting about are trans women who are inducing lactation using hormones. The same as adoptive mothers who have also not given birth to their baby but wish to breastfeed them.

They are living their lives as women and mothers to their babies. They are there trying to breast feed their adopted or perhaps surrogate born babies.

They're not just random men that are waltzing in off the street for an ogle FFS.

HRTQueen · 13/11/2024 21:48

CarrotSpa · 04/05/2024 11:59

I’d be deeply, deeply suspicious of any man regardless of how he identifies, who wishes to make an infant suck his nipple.

Absolutely agree

I believe a number of men identifying as trans women it’s a fetish

If trans woman are offended by this then look at the real problem its men not us women

FiveWhatByFiveWhat · 13/11/2024 21:39

LetsNCagain · 13/11/2024 21:26

Why? What use are they in a breastfeeding clinic? What can a dad physically do to help a mum learn to breastfeed?

My dh took extended paternity leave and did all he could when my two were newborns. Changed 5 nappies to my 1.

But if I'm getting help sorting out a difficult latch I don't need my husband hovering around "how's it going? Any better?" Or, worse! Giving suggestions! "Shouldn't her chin be more tucked in than that? The book says nose to nipple"

He's better off at home doing something useful like a load of laundry.

I absolutely agree.

I breastfed my son for almost 2 years and my husband was supportive and a very hands on dad and partner.

He read the books, he looked online for advice when I wanted to wean, he asked questions when a midwife visited the house to help me in the early days. But he'd never in a million years want to come to a breastfeeding group with me. In his own words "where would I even look?!"

Hunglikeapolevaulter · 13/11/2024 21:38

This from the La Leche League website:
"Trans women can use a protocol similar to adoptive and other non-gestational mothers and stimulate their milk supply: it is called the Newman-Goldfarb protocol."

https://llli.org/breastfeeding-info/transgender-non-binary-parents/

The Newman-Goldfarb protocol:
"The person inducing lactation takes the combination birth control pill and the anti-nausea drug domperidone, which increases the prolactin levels."

Transgender & Non-binary Parents - La Leche League International

Support for Transgender & Non-binary Parents La Leche League is an international, nonprofit, nonsectarian organisation.1 LLL supports everyone who

https://llli.org/breastfeeding-info/transgender-non-binary-parents

LetsNCagain · 13/11/2024 21:26

lljkk · 05/05/2024 10:59

Sidetracking the dads like that isn't ideal.

Why? What use are they in a breastfeeding clinic? What can a dad physically do to help a mum learn to breastfeed?

My dh took extended paternity leave and did all he could when my two were newborns. Changed 5 nappies to my 1.

But if I'm getting help sorting out a difficult latch I don't need my husband hovering around "how's it going? Any better?" Or, worse! Giving suggestions! "Shouldn't her chin be more tucked in than that? The book says nose to nipple"

He's better off at home doing something useful like a load of laundry.

HermioneWeasley · 13/11/2024 21:25

Barney16 · 13/11/2024 21:22

So I must be ever so dense but why would a trans woman want or need to be at a La Leche meeting. Because, treading carefully, I don't think they are birthing and breast feeding a baby which would seem to be the rationale for the meetings.

Oh my sweet summer child

Barney16 · 13/11/2024 21:22

So I must be ever so dense but why would a trans woman want or need to be at a La Leche meeting. Because, treading carefully, I don't think they are birthing and breast feeding a baby which would seem to be the rationale for the meetings.

LetsNCagain · 13/11/2024 21:20

AllCatsAreAutistic · 04/05/2024 15:34

I'll get back to you when I have worked out who irritates me more: the trans lobby or the breastfeeding absolutists.

Really? Breastfeeding "absolutists" care about the healthy development of children, even if you don't agree with the way they go about it.

The other group have shown that the well being of children is not their top priority.

WandsOut · 13/11/2024 21:11

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14070057/amp/Founder-worlds-oldest-Breastfeeding-charity-QUITS-transgender-women.html

It gets worse. Thank goodness for principled women.

OP posts:
Islandsmeh · 06/05/2024 00:59

lljkk · 05/05/2024 10:59

Sidetracking the dads like that isn't ideal.

I went to a b/f group where many of the women brought their male partners. I felt deeply uncomfortable and I'm not usually the type to mind. There were a couple of men who openly stared. I didn't go back for a second session. None of the men looked particularly useful to their partners.
I think if women really want their menfolk there, then there should be separate couples sessions. The same applies to transwomen if they have female partners, there is no need for them to be in women only sessions.

ashitghost · 06/05/2024 00:49

Any man who wants a baby to suck his nipples is a nonce. Call it out.

fliptopbin · 06/05/2024 00:44

Well thats one more reason not to breastfeed!

Rainbowshit · 06/05/2024 00:25

I wouldn't want any males around when accessing breastfeeding support.

WandsOut · 05/05/2024 20:09

lljkk · 04/05/2024 16:27

I didn't know that women's own male partners were banned from the LLL support meetings (they must be banned, since they are biological males).

That doesn't seem like a successful strategy; getting support from one's partner can be vital, since that's the person supporting you at 3am when the nips hurt & the whole situation seems like Hell.

I wouldn't have wanted other women's husbands in the room whilst learning to breastfeed.
And what about women who don't have partners supporting them - they shouldn't have to have random men there while trying to breastfeed.

OP posts:
ajdhpoqnavd · 05/05/2024 16:54

I remember being on the maternity ward, my son needed feeding, I was struggling, I was a young mum, on my own (physically at that moment), I had HORRENDOUS after pains and BF was making me physically vomit and the male partners were on the ward visiting, even with the curtain closed I hated it, it felt so intrusive. I just wanted women around me helping me.

Dandel10n · 05/05/2024 16:46

lljkk · 05/05/2024 10:59

Sidetracking the dads like that isn't ideal.

Honestly I don't really see why not. My DH has always been very hands-on with the kids, an equal partner etc, but was of limited use with the actual mechanics of BFing when I needed help.

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/05/2024 16:10

lljkk · 05/05/2024 10:59

Sidetracking the dads like that isn't ideal.

Neither is excluding women that wouldn't feel comfortable with men in the room. You have to pick one. Picking the least worst option is what LLL did in that case. Not in this case.