Mother in law thinks I’m ugly

^This.

She doesn't want to pay you a compliment!

My mil told me how beautiful my sister looked at my wedding and asked if my dress kept falling down because it was hot-(it didn’t fall down!).
Some mil’s just don’t like their dil marrying their sons.

You like your mother in law, you get on well, she says you’re a good mum…..this is completely a YOU issue and really nothing to do with your poor mother in law who’s been called a narcissist and a bitch on this thread unnecessarily, you need to work on your self esteem.

I would stop making so much effort with her and certainly stop paying her any compliments. She sounds like a bit of a cow to be honest.

Stop pussyfooting around her and giving her compliments. Take a step back. You don’t need her validation.

You need to work on your own issues if you are really that desperate for compliments! I don't think my MIL ever commented on my appearance that I can remember, I honestly wouldn't expect her to! It's really not healthy to be that bothered about someone else's opinion of how you look 😕

My mum told me that she though DH was very handsome, in the context of a wider conversation about things. But other than a joking "don't you scrub up well" on our wedding day I don't think she's ever said much to him personally about his looks.

It's not relevant.

To me, this is pretty weird. To go on and on about how handsome her son is but never mention OP. Deeply odd from MIL, but I think you just have to ignore it OP.

You’ve never told your DIL she looks nice? Bizarre.

My in-laws have never once made any comment about my looks - I don't think my parents have ever commented on DH's either. I mean, why would they?

I think you're getting upset over nothing and also taking offence where none was intended. Commenting on the appearance of your own children is very different to doing it someone who isn't.

important things than looks, but personally I would like to be thought of positively and not as someone who is bringing down their family’s attractiveness!

Think a lot of you are looking for a deeper reason for her feeling this way, when the ops made it clear she's pretty shallow 🤷🏼‍♀️

It would never occur to me to compliment my DDiLs for their looks! I compliment them for other things.

With kindness, I think it’s safe to say this is a you issue. My mil has never commented on my appearance and I can honestly say I’ve never even thought about it until now. You need to do some self esteem work and I highly recommend this book.

https://www.wob.com/en-gb/books/dr-melanie-fennell/overcoming-low-self-esteem-2nd-edition/9781472119292?gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADZzAIBaNBqYFPAEHjF-nit3rcZza&gclid=EAIaIQobChMImP6c97jyhQMVrIxQBh2b3wXcEAQYASABEgJsnPD_BwE#GOR008596922

Lovely lady who put herself in your shoes, obviously not all folks can

This thread is nuts. The MiL sings her praises to others but because there isn't a steady stream of gushing physical compliments the MiL must be a narcissist?

Narc is over used on MN but really that jumps the shark.

OP: some people gush, some don't. Focusing on the perceived "gap" and ignoring the nice things she says about you is really a problem you need to work on in yourself. Look for ways to boost your own esteem and these perceived slights will magically disappear

She doesn't necessarily has to think your are ugly, she may be one of those people who no one never is good enough because they think they are the offspring of Mount Olympus.
Don't hold on that thoughts, they won't do any good to you, who cares what she thinks.
If there is more on the side to that keep her at arms length.

Is she Marie Barone from Everybody Loves Raymond? 😃

On the flip side, maybe she thinks you're more attractive than her son and he's punching? She doesn't feel like she needs to compliment as it's a given you'd realise you look good?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Perhaps she does think you look like the back end of a bus and isn't going to lie or bullshit you with fake compliments.

What's wrong with that? Her opinion of your looks are of absolutely no consequence to you whatsoever.

My partner’s mother has never commented on my appearance. Why on earth would she?
She’s a lovely person and very kind to me, I don’t think she cares what I look like.

My MIL said, on the first time of meeting me "she'll have to try harder to impress your brother". Because I don't have any interest in make up, clothes, hair etc. I overheard and said "I wasn't aware I had to impress anyone other than (now) DH, and he likes me" and she has never made any comment on my looks again. She has, actually, since compared me to my SIL who she used to love talking "girl" stuff with. She's now happy that I'm much more low maintenance and easy going, and she once acknowledged that she got it wrong that "trying" and "looking" are very different in attractiveness.

Don't let it bother you. If you feel good and DH loves you, sorted.

I agree with people saying this is coming from a place of insecurity. That it's not that she doesn't think you are attractive but that she is worried you are too attractive or otherwise too good for her DS and her family. She is (undoubtedly unconsciously) trying to remind you what a wonderful family you have married into and that you aren't too good or attractive for them.

They say people often marry people similar to the same sex parent (i know one lovely woman whose dad was a serial cheater. She went on to have three marriages and each one cheated within the first three years). It sounds like your husband has an insecure mum and was attracted to someone with similar traits.

You’re looking well is usually perceived as you’ve put on weight. It is a bit gushy and I don’t think it’s rude not to compliment appearance. I work with mainly men, I can’t imagine behaving like this, and for all my female friends, I complement if they look specially nice or something new/dressed up, but I don’t go all over board like you suggest when they are wearing jeans and a hoodie and come to chill at mine.

My MIL has never complimented me on my looks. It’s not something she would ever do. It doesn’t mean she thinks I’m ugly.

What your MIL thinks about your looks is not really important if at all.