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To want a shower one night a week. DH says I’m a c**t

439 replies

Hopingforbetterluck · 03/05/2024 22:26

I’ve just had enough. WW3 started because we came back from holiday on Sunday, I’ve not had a chance to wash my hair since then, busy unpacking, washing, WFH, life with 2 small DC. Last night I wanted to have a shower and wash my hair and for DH to put tea in while I did that once the kids were in bed. Apparently I’m a twt, a c*t, a bitch. A real woman would have dinner on the table every night. He smashed around the kitchen making a sht tea as he put it.

He says I should be having a shower at lunch time while eldest DC is at nursery and youngest is asleep but I’ve worked overtime this week and not had chance not to mention the fact I’d rather have a shower at the start or end of the day. He says it’s my poor time management that’s caused this argument and me and my attitude can sleep on the sofa tonight. I’m just so heartbroken that my life has come to this. My dad and no other man in my life would ever dream of speaking to me like this yet this is who I’ve ended up with.

OP posts:
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Mum2jenny · 03/05/2024 22:41

Leave the abusive twat as soon as you can safely. Please get advice and get to safety. He is not a normal person

Hugosmaid · 03/05/2024 22:41

Ah OP please leave before your children get so fucked up by this.

He is a nasty bastard and you deserve better

Justrolledmyeyesoutloud · 03/05/2024 22:40

Only one c**t in your house op and it isn't you.

1721sunset · 03/05/2024 22:39

MonsterMunched · 03/05/2024 22:28

It’s a crap way to talk to you but it take 5 minutes to have a shower and wash hair so it hard to believe you haven’t been able to do that for a week.

Are you the husband ?

G123456789 · 03/05/2024 22:38

MonsterMunched · 03/05/2024 22:28

It’s a crap way to talk to you but it take 5 minutes to have a shower and wash hair so it hard to believe you haven’t been able to do that for a week.

Really...she wanted a shower and he kicked off because he had to cook tea. Really... I a man and I cook, clean, tidy, do diy...because I have retired and my wife want to keep working because she does...I put tea on the table...wash clothes and actually I enjoy it. But is this woman works and has to put tea on the table and shower only when allowed too...

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 03/05/2024 22:38

Aquamarine1029 · 03/05/2024 22:34

My dad and no other man in my life would ever dream of speaking to me like this yet this is who I’ve ended up with.

You are with him now because that's what you're choosing to do. Make a different choice. You can leave him anytime you want to, and I suggest you do so as quickly as possible.

As SAFELY as possible - please speak to a domestic abuse charity to make a plan before you tell him you're leaving

nameshame24 · 03/05/2024 22:38

This reply has been deleted

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Glucose95 · 03/05/2024 22:38

Please leave this waster now. This is abuse and you do not deserve this.

DdraigGoch · 03/05/2024 22:38

A real woman would have dinner on the table every night.
Please tell me that this OP is not real. Surely men who think such things went extinct just after the dinosaurs.

OP, how on earth did you encounter this prince amongst men?

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 03/05/2024 22:37

StSwithinsDay · 03/05/2024 22:31

The day my husband called me a twat, a cunt and a bitch would be the day I would make plans to leave him.
Is the relationship in any way salvageable?

I agree

feelingalittlehorse · 03/05/2024 22:37

I voted YABU, because you are for giving this garbage fella even a second more of your time.

I wouldn’t even fire that amount of verbal abuse at a stranger who wronged me, never mind my spouse and mother of my child. He’s gross.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 03/05/2024 22:37

MonsterMunched · 03/05/2024 22:28

It’s a crap way to talk to you but it take 5 minutes to have a shower and wash hair so it hard to believe you haven’t been able to do that for a week.

I disagree, as you need to blow dry hair after

TinyGingerCat · 03/05/2024 22:36

I've been with my DH 30 years and he had never called me a cunt or a twat. This is not normal OP.

TokyoSushi · 03/05/2024 22:36

OP, that's really bad and no way to live, please think about ending this relationship if you can.

Flittingaboutagain · 03/05/2024 22:36

CatamaranViper · 03/05/2024 22:31

I don't see how you haven't managed to have a shower and wash your hair in nearly a week BUT that doesn't excuse him being a sexist arsehole who is verbally abusive.

This relationship is fucked.

I have two little ones home full time. If I shower whilst they're awake one of them will hurt the other, or eat something dangerous or make a huge mess as my toddler can now unlock my shower door from the inside and they can escape together! So I only shower whilst they're with my husband or asleep.

ImAlwaysknackered · 03/05/2024 22:36

You don’t have to be with him.

He sounds like an absolute tosser.

And yeah washing hair might only take the 5 minutes but drying it and then doing something with it takes more time and can be a right chore.

Is this what you want for your life? You only get one life, don’t waste it on this nobhead.

MsLuxLisbon · 03/05/2024 22:36

MonsterMunched · 03/05/2024 22:28

It’s a crap way to talk to you but it take 5 minutes to have a shower and wash hair so it hard to believe you haven’t been able to do that for a week.

How to spectacularly miss the point. Good lord.

BrendaSmall · 03/05/2024 22:35

MonsterMunched · 03/05/2024 22:28

It’s a crap way to talk to you but it take 5 minutes to have a shower and wash hair so it hard to believe you haven’t been able to do that for a week.

5 minutes?
lol
im in the shower every night for around 10/15 minutes and if I bath I’m in there for a hour

Flickersy · 03/05/2024 22:35

Hereyoume · 03/05/2024 22:34

So we should give up our jobs to be looked after by a man?

No thanks.

It was tongue in cheek...

ConflictedCheetah · 03/05/2024 22:34

MonsterMunched · 03/05/2024 22:28

It’s a crap way to talk to you but it take 5 minutes to have a shower and wash hair so it hard to believe you haven’t been able to do that for a week.

Well firstly it depends on your hair but I couldn't shower and wash mine in 5 mins (curly) plus when I get out I like to moisturise my face and put curl creme in hair etc. Can do 20 mins from undressing to being dressed again.

Secondly that's not the point anyway. Even if the OP had had several showers this week, she should be able to take a bit of time one evening for herself and for her fucking useless asshole of a DH to cook tea for them without being verbally abused for it.

Hereyoume · 03/05/2024 22:34

Flickersy · 03/05/2024 22:28

Tell him a real man would earn enough that you don't have to work.

Then leave him.

So we should give up our jobs to be looked after by a man?

No thanks.

Aquamarine1029 · 03/05/2024 22:34

My dad and no other man in my life would ever dream of speaking to me like this yet this is who I’ve ended up with.

You are with him now because that's what you're choosing to do. Make a different choice. You can leave him anytime you want to, and I suggest you do so as quickly as possible.

Howisitnotobvious · 03/05/2024 22:33

MonsterMunched · 03/05/2024 22:28

It’s a crap way to talk to you but it take 5 minutes to have a shower and wash hair so it hard to believe you haven’t been able to do that for a week.

That's just not true. It takes about 20 mins start to finish and drying hair a just a little bit so you're not freezing. That's a long chunk of nap time.

Irrelevant though.

WhoSaidWhat123 · 03/05/2024 22:33

You don’t deserve this. Neither do your children. This type of behaviour is not normal, and no one should have to put up with it and your children shouldn’t have to witness, you don’t want them thinking that this is normal in case they suffer the same in years to come.

Please seek advice from close friends and family, professionals even.

All the best x

Namechangedforthis25 · 03/05/2024 22:32

MonsterMunched · 03/05/2024 22:28

It’s a crap way to talk to you but it take 5 minutes to have a shower and wash hair so it hard to believe you haven’t been able to do that for a week.

Think you are missing the point @MonsterMunched

op. That is not normal. Please prioritise your mental and physical health. Any man who calls you a c*nt Is sub-human. You deserve better and you need better