Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Killer Bathrooms?!

30 replies

outside1inside · 03/05/2024 22:02

Just walked in on DH having a poo in the bathroom...again!

I told him to lock the door. He said "No, I never lock the door" I said "yes I know"

Further conversation revealed he believes bathrooms are very dangerous and you could "slip, fall or have an aneurysm" while locked in the bathroom.

I said I could definitely kick the door down if I needed too, he is very paranoid about bathrooms and the chance of something happening is vanishingly small.

I asked if he locks the door at work, he said he does.

I think it's grim, I don't want to walk in on someone having a poo, I always lock the door.

So AIBU?

YABU - you will probably die if you lock the door
YANBU - Lock the door it's fine

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
utilitarianism · 04/05/2024 05:59

Yabu. Knock.

checkedshirts · 04/05/2024 04:06

I had an aneurysm and collapsed on the bathroom floor and blocked the door (it was unlocked) so dp had to remove it from the hinges for the paramedics (I was conscious but couldn't move due to the pain)

MoonlightMemories · 04/05/2024 02:31

I'm one for unlocked bathrooms personally (except at work/public loos etc, for obvious reasons), especially as I know I'm very accident prone, and I have actually fallen/slipped in my shower/bathroom a couple of times before and landed pretty hard, thankfully no bad injuries but itd have made getting help to me rather more difficult it I'd had the bathroom door locked and I had needed help.

Also, I work in a healthcare setting and locked bathroom emergencies (could be anything from self-harm, to a bad fall or even a cardiac arrest) are really difficult to deal with - it's hard to get the doors open and it's hard to do emergency care in a confined space and/or to get the person out of it to do things properly for them.

Bobloblaw84 · 04/05/2024 02:11

outside1inside · 03/05/2024 22:22

I offered to put pool noodles over all the porcelain parts of the bathroom. This was considered to be "taking the piss"

I tend to agree with your DH.

Are you incapable of a quick knock before barging in?

ImustLearn2Cook · 04/05/2024 01:52

I agree with all the pp suggesting that you knock before entering. It is very easy to do. It solves your problem.

Why do you think that you can dictate to your husband that he has to lock the door?

He doesn’t have to if he doesn’t want to and he has clearly communicated that he won’t. Honestly, he has a right to that personal decision.

If you don’t want to walk in on him then you take personal responsibility and knock on the door or speak through the door and ask if there’s anyone in there.

theGooHasGone · 04/05/2024 01:30

He clearly has no issue with you walking in while he's on the bog - it sounds like you're the one with the problem. As such it'll have to be you who modifies your behaviour. Just knock before entering!

PomPomtheGreat · 04/05/2024 01:26

I don't understand why you don't just knock if the door is closed. Then wait half a second for an answer.

Ginkypig · 04/05/2024 01:23

Can’t you just leave the door almost closed or as I call it shut to so when it’s fully closed someone is in

buffyslayer · 04/05/2024 01:21

2 solutions

Poo pourri spray (use before he goes)
Thumb turn lock. Mine can be opened from the outside with a coin

Lucy377 · 04/05/2024 00:50

Replace the lock with a thumbturn one. You can do it yourself if you are any way handy.
As long as you buy the right size which takes a little research.

pizzaHeart · 04/05/2024 00:20

I wouldn’t like to walk on my DH in a moment like this as well. I think you don’t need to share EVERYTHING.
However I sort of understand your DH’s pov. As he is diabetic maybe that’s why he’s worried about possible accident in the bathroom? Maybe even someone’s mentioned it to him ? The chances of this are very small of course but when you have health issues you look at things differently.
Our door also can be opened from the outside with something flat or even by hand if you are lucky.
I found this very handy a few times when one of us forgot something, you don’t need to go out of the bath. And I can see a bit of light from the corridor if someone’s in the bathroom.

MonsteraMama · 03/05/2024 22:47

outside1inside · 03/05/2024 22:24

We have 2 young children. I don't think they can be trusted with sign flipping!

Show quote history

Well no but presumably your husband can? Since he's the one you don't want to walk in on he's the only one who'd need to flip the sign?

Original poster
outside1inside · 03/05/2024 22:38

dragonscannotswim · 03/05/2024 22:36

Did needed vag cream?! 🤨

DD needed vag cream. She was itchy.

OP posts:
dragonscannotswim · 03/05/2024 22:36

Did needed vag cream?! 🤨

Original poster
outside1inside · 03/05/2024 22:26

ZipZapZoom · 03/05/2024 22:23

If the bathroom is downstairs then didn't you notice him going into it?

Honestly if you feel the door needs to be closed when not in use then I'd start to implement knocking beforehand to check if he's in there.

Show quote history

It is downstairs but the other end of the house and 99% of the time I check the office before I go in to see if he's there. This time I was on a mission of mercy for DD who needed vag cream so I didn't check.

OP posts:
StealthIguana · 03/05/2024 22:26

YANBU, but I am that person who passed out in the bathroom and narrowly missed cracking my head off the sink. 😂
I did keep the door closed over but unlocked for a while afterwards, but let DP know I was in so he didn't walk in at an inopportune moment!

Original poster
outside1inside · 03/05/2024 22:24

MonsteraMama · 03/05/2024 22:21

Get a little flippable "occupied" sign for the door?

We have 2 young children. I don't think they can be trusted with sign flipping!

OP posts:
ZipZapZoom · 03/05/2024 22:23

outside1inside · 03/05/2024 22:17

Maybe should have said... Dh takes a lot of pills (diabetes) which means his poo stinks.

The bathroom door is between the lounge and kitchen and is always closed.

If the bathroom is downstairs then didn't you notice him going into it?

Honestly if you feel the door needs to be closed when not in use then I'd start to implement knocking beforehand to check if he's in there.

Original poster
outside1inside · 03/05/2024 22:22

I offered to put pool noodles over all the porcelain parts of the bathroom. This was considered to be "taking the piss"

OP posts:
MonsteraMama · 03/05/2024 22:21

Get a little flippable "occupied" sign for the door?

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 03/05/2024 22:20

You need to make him understand that if you walk in on him on the toilet that represents more of a danger than him slipping over. The time for talking is over, it's time for action......

spicysamosahotcupoftea · 03/05/2024 22:19

I do the same as @ZipZapZoom for the same reason as your DH

Original poster
outside1inside · 03/05/2024 22:19

Iloveanicegarden · 03/05/2024 22:18

My FIL died in the bathroom from a heart attack........just saying!

So sorry for your loss.

Would he not have died if the bathroom was unlocked?

OP posts:
Iloveanicegarden · 03/05/2024 22:18

My FIL died in the bathroom from a heart attack........just saying!

Original poster
outside1inside · 03/05/2024 22:17

Maybe should have said... Dh takes a lot of pills (diabetes) which means his poo stinks.

The bathroom door is between the lounge and kitchen and is always closed.

OP posts: