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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boy or Girl

87 replies

Babydo22 · 03/05/2024 18:49

Posting for fun and a little bit of curiosity 🤣

Following on from a discussion with my OH - do you think my baby looks like a boy or girl?

I would have no idea the sex of a baby just by looking at facial features whereas my OH thinks it's obvious.

AIBU - yes it's easy to tell boys and girls apart
AINBU - babies just look like babies

Boy or Girl
OP posts:
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Abitlosttoday · 04/05/2024 20:13

My boy was continually mistaken for a girl. He's still very pretty at seven. My girl looked like a Cabbage Patch kid (another mum actually pointed this out and she was rught) and people frequently assumed she was a boy.
She's very cute at four and very feminine. I could not care less what people thought they saw. Your baby is beautiful, genitals irrelevant.

KreedKafer · 04/05/2024 19:49

Otterly2 · 03/05/2024 21:42

I am sure that your daughter will be thrilled when she is older and finds out that her own mother posted a pic of her as a baby online and asked people to guess if she was a girl or a boy. 🙄

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She’s not going to give a shit about it. No normal person has a hissy fit as an adult about a conversation someone had about a photo of them when they were a baby.

My mum has loads of anecdotes about me and my siblings as babies. If my mum had access to Mumsnet when I was born in the mid-70s, she’d probably have been posting something like “Does this baby look it could feasibly be related to me?” because people constantly looked at me and said “Are you sure they gave you the right one?”

(This is understandable, as I could not have looked any more different from my siblings when I was a baby.)

sheoaouhra · 04/05/2024 05:43

I think girl - but really I dont think you can tell

Dollenganger333 · 04/05/2024 05:41

My first thought was girl. But you are right, it's hard to tell sometimes especially if they don't have a lot of hair.

SoozyWoozy5 · 04/05/2024 05:37

Boy

YeahComeOnThen · 04/05/2024 05:17

@Babydo22 Don't worry about the two drama llamas, another photo of her would be lovely.

YeahComeOnThen · 04/05/2024 05:04

Vergingontheridiculous · 03/05/2024 19:56

Do you think maybe people guessing random babies without any other gender stereotype markers are more likely to guess boy because of the lack of hair? If you're desperately searching for a gender signifier (albeit subconsciously) that may sway it. Mine looked very like themselves as babies, but sometimes remarkably alike (I have one of each).

@Vergingontheridiculous

yes I agree.

YeahComeOnThen · 04/05/2024 05:03

Serengetti56 · 03/05/2024 19:49

Get yourself assessed!!
Honestly, of all the comments to make.

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@Serengetti56

AsvIvsaid, I'd much rather someone asked than didn't.

YeahComeOnThen · 04/05/2024 05:01

KreedKafer · 03/05/2024 19:43

Fucking hell, there are some appalling people on Mumsnet. I’m pretty sure the OP’s baby has been looked at by medical and nursing professionals in its lifetime, and that any issue would have been raised, if there is one.

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@KreedKafer

there have been at least two situations where things like that have been picked up by someone on here (and probably many more on threads I haven't seen.

id much rather someone asked.

YeahComeOnThen · 04/05/2024 04:56

FlyingSoap · 03/05/2024 19:04

The child’s face is online. Why do you think people don’t post their kids online?

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@FlyingSoap

I have no idea which is why I asked you!

Care to explain instead of just repeating yourself?

Sunnytwobridges · 04/05/2024 03:46

Boy

Original poster
Babydo22 · 03/05/2024 23:36

Otterly2 · 03/05/2024 21:42

I am sure that your daughter will be thrilled when she is older and finds out that her own mother posted a pic of her as a baby online and asked people to guess if she was a girl or a boy. 🙄

Show quote history

Are you are planning on tracking me down and lurking around for the next 15 or so years to break the news? 🙄 Even still, I doubt she would be as offended as you!

OP posts:
Daisybuttercup12345 · 03/05/2024 22:49

Girl

HangryOliveMentor · 03/05/2024 22:41

Otterly2 · 03/05/2024 21:42

I am sure that your daughter will be thrilled when she is older and finds out that her own mother posted a pic of her as a baby online and asked people to guess if she was a girl or a boy. 🙄

Show quote history

You know you don’t HAVE to desperately cook up some reason to post something snide/critical, not posting is also an option.

TimeInBlue · 03/05/2024 22:04

Otterly2 · 03/05/2024 21:42

I am sure that your daughter will be thrilled when she is older and finds out that her own mother posted a pic of her as a baby online and asked people to guess if she was a girl or a boy. 🙄

Show quote history

Lighten up

Otterly2 · 03/05/2024 21:42

Babydo22 · 03/05/2024 20:08

Thanks for all your guesses and lovely comments! You also proved me right with DH as she is infact a beautiful baby girl ❤️

She is the spitting image of her brother when he was a baby so my guess would also have been boy but when she wears a bow or is wearing a girlie outfit, her features to me look so girly. I would post a picture but wouldn't want to offend a select few 🤣

I am sure that your daughter will be thrilled when she is older and finds out that her own mother posted a pic of her as a baby online and asked people to guess if she was a girl or a boy. 🙄

Ourshoddyhouse · 03/05/2024 20:57

Even before I saw your reply I was going to say girl, she's gorgeous OP 🙂

ThankYouFish · 03/05/2024 20:51

I would have said boy too.
Funnily enough I have a baby girl and twice recently have been told I have a beautiful baby boy 🤣 she also doesn’t have much hair.

Vergingontheridiculous · 03/05/2024 20:49

@Tospyornottospy sorry I disagree. I looked at that baby many many many times a day and not once did I think his eyes were not aligned. I could see him tracking things with both eyes without issue. The only reason I took him is because I was badgered into doing so by someone who will find fault with anything I do, and who was basing it off photos (in which case you can't properly judge what each eye is focusing on). Yes if you're properly in doubt yourself, get it assessed, but I'm still irritated that I let my MIL badger me into doing something I knew deep down was unnecessary.

Georgieporgie29 · 03/05/2024 20:33

My DD looked just like her dad and brother as a baby and did look like a boy (especially when she was almost bald). She started to look more herself and girly when she was about 3. She definitely looks like a girl now at 12 but does still have a look of her dad, and finally a look of me too.

isn’t it funny how their looks change so much but they still look like themselves?

anyway your dd is gorgeous

ontheflighttosingapore · 03/05/2024 20:21

I knew she was a girl straight away as she's the image of a baby girl I used to look after she's 16 now ! Super cute baby

Yellowhammer09 · 03/05/2024 20:20

My immediate thought was boy but then I wondered if she was a girl.

Not that it matters, my almost 3yo is finally being recognised as a girl despite having worn dresses and pink since she was born. She's only just started growing hair 😆

BigBoysDontCry · 03/05/2024 20:20

My elder DS had a similar issue with having a low wide nose bridge. His eye would occasionally properly squint, health professional reckoned it was because of his long eyelashes and said he could probably see them across his nose... No idea 😂 but he stopped doing it when he was a toddler.

DS2 had particularly girly features from toddler onwards and could easily be confused as a girl until he hit puberty. He had a decent growing beard by 14 so that put an end to that!

Original poster
Babydo22 · 03/05/2024 20:17

Vergingontheridiculous · 03/05/2024 19:56

Do you think maybe people guessing random babies without any other gender stereotype markers are more likely to guess boy because of the lack of hair? If you're desperately searching for a gender signifier (albeit subconsciously) that may sway it. Mine looked very like themselves as babies, but sometimes remarkably alike (I have one of each).

I think you are right with this. We probably assume boy based on lack of hair.

OP posts:
Tospyornottospy · 03/05/2024 20:16

Vergingontheridiculous · 03/05/2024 20:07

@Greendino90 my MIL made me completely paranoid that my second had a "squint" because sometimes in photos he looked like his eyes weren't quite aligned. It's very normal in very young babies for eyes to not align all the time (the muscles take a while to firm up) and after that it can still look like they're not aligned because of the way the skin folds around the eyes. It's usually pretty easy to tell if there's a problem, especially when you're the one looking at their face all the time.

I didn't see a problem until MIL went on and on and on at me about it and I wasted a GP appointment just to be told he was fine (and all of the above).

Don't be my MIL.

Given the very serious impact an undiagnosed squint can have on eyesight, it’s ALWAYS better to get it checked! Your MIL
is annoying, and she was wrong, but you did the right thing in going and I urge anyone with any suspicions to do the same.