Husband goes on holiday with his family without me and our baby

No one in my family, my own and inlaws would arrange anything like that once we had children in the family. They are not really welcoming you into the family are they. I would stop bothering to engage with them all. I can't believe your dh is happy with your exclusion, that's the worrying bit for me.

I probably wouldn't get worked up about it. The first 3 are entirely reasonable (in my opinion) the fourth you are invited. They are adults events, surely you see why people wouldn't want a 1 year old there, that's a completely different dynamic.
Assuming he is otherwise a good father and partner I don't see an issue.

You are both parents, you both, I assume, wanted this baby - so why he sees you now not an equal partner but some sort of a nanny to look after a baby while he swans away? Why cant he understand that things are different now and he is a parent, not a single man?

I have been in situations where people refused trips, refused events or asked to change things to suit them because their had a small child - sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't but no one thought it weird or unreasonable. I find it shocking that its considered normal for dads to just do as they please, and for mums to simply give up everything and provide 100% child care.

I appreciate he could go away for a few nights on a stag do but the rest are bollocks, they are family events and should be made to accommodate you both. For example, Italy trip - you would not all be living in a same room, I would imagine, and there would not be a compulsion for you to tag along everywhere, so why cant you go so you can join in at least some of the activities and feel part of this family? You and your baby are being excluded for convenience, and its quite sad that a brand new son and a grandson is seen by your husband and his family as a nuisance, and not a family member to include and cherish, and you are seen as someone not important to change things for to make you join them.

If anything, I would be really pissed off and, in addition, I would arrange a number of holidays away from him, with or without a baby. And then point out to him that having holidays separately is weird and not really something normal families do. He is a selfish dick, OP. Sorry.

This! ⬆️ He sounds like a selfish dick. Huge turn off.

My son would not have attended 'family' things without his wife and child/ren. Rightly so.

However we would never have planned such a thing.

Would it kill this man to say to his family that he's been away alot from the wife and baby and it's not fair to have yet another trip away and that if he's coming op and the baby are coming too. It's ops baby not theirs , op will manage the baby not them! Op youre also a family member and its perfectly normal to expect your inlaws to be more understating for flip sake. Can there be no give and take???

Yanbu. Why doesn't he want to spend more of his time and money with his new child? My DP would never suggest so many trips away without his child & me. Why can't his family accommodate you all? I presume yours is the only young child in the family?

I'd be booking a couple of breaks away as soon as your not breastfeeding (if you are) or the baby is old enough to be left.

Why does he think he can have baby free time as a new Dad? It sounds totally absurd. Did you discuss matters like this before you got pregnant? Did he state it would be all up to you? I don't think the trip with his Mum is at all necessary in view of all the other trips. I'm surprised his siblings haven't pointed this out to him.

You know where his priorities lie. And they're not with you and his child

The problem isn't that the OP wants "baby free time".

The problem is that her husband is an overgrown boy who hasn't noticed that he has a wife and baby and doesn't seem to think he has any reason to prioritise them over his friends and parents.

I'd sit him down and tell him he's taking the piss and that his mummy's boy/ bachelor approach to life has to come to a screeching halt now that he's both a husband and a father.

Tell him he needs to choose. He can't have his cake and eat it too.

See how much he argues/ whines/ protests/ accuses you of being a bitch, etc. Then make your choice too.

Hmm, that is quite a lot but in isolation each trip seems reasonable. Do you go away on your own?

If he goes away do you stay with your parents? When my husband used to go away for work I'd go and stay with my parents when I was on maternity leave and had a great time getting spoilt.

There’s something wrong with a father who doesn’t mind leaving his tiny baby for a week at a time

Wow he is spending a shit load of money on these holidays! Where is he taking you?

He's a selfish twat and it seems he's inherited the twat gene from his parents who seem equally happy to keep taking your H away from his wife and child.

He really is a selfish twat.

This.. he's acting like a single person. No way is this right. You and the baby are his bloody family!!

He’a a twat whose checked out of family life.

I’m guessing he doesn’t pull his weight with the baby and housework?

Does his brothers have partners ? Children ?

IMO if he hasn’t changed with arrival of baby he has no plans to .

Is money an issue ? Does he have any holiday plans for you as a family ?

His carrying on like a single man
His not even acting like he has a partner let alone a baby. Put your foot down and tell him no. This is just not fair Cheeky bastard

What awful grandparents, do they spend any time with your baby @Siamesecatlover ?

What makes a holiday not suitable for a baby? I can understand the stag do not being appropriate... but the family holiday... what makes it not suitable?

@Siamesecatlover does he actually know that he has a wife and a child???? Is he the only sibling with a child? I would not normally say this but in true mumsnet term, he is a selfish b and you would be better off LTB!