I’m wondering if I’m a bit controlling or if I’m justified in feeling a bit peeved about the way this conversation went.
Partner works full time and I’m on a break from work. We don’t share money so he’s not the breadwinner so to speak, in fact I probably pay the lions share including now I’m off work for a while. 2 kids, one disabled.
he’s been offered overtime at work but rather than say I might do overtime on such and such day, is that going to cause any issues with the kids etc. he’s let me know he’s doing it in the following ways.
1st time “I’m probably doing overtime the next couple of days.” And then not said he definitely is or isn’t or how long for, just a comment during the day “Don’t forget (hadn’t been actually told for definite or a time at this point) that I’m working until 6pm tonight.”
2nd time I was telling him I had enquired about viewing a house we have been interested in because we agreed I would do that and then he decided to tell me “I’m working blah blah next week.” Bearing in mind I have his shifts written down so try to work anything like the house viewing around him. I did very nicely say to him that it might be nice if he kind of checks in with me before he commits to anything in terms of overtime and of course he acted like I have a massive problem with him doing the overtime and I fully expect to hear “Oh well I won’t do overtime anymore if it’s a problem.” He pulled the old “Well I did say it was available all week.” When I had no way of knowing what hours he would commit to. Because I’ve dared to suggest he just checks in with me before he puts his name down etc.
am I being controlling is it just polite and considerate to check with your OH in advance about these things?