To think this isn’t that common? Or do people keep it to themselves?

What. Yes it is https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/gift_2

I know quite a lot of people who have been given or inherited vast chunks of cash. Or who get things like private school fees/dental care /cars etc paid for by their parents. Or parents pay for several nice holidays a year...

And then they work part time or are stay at home mums and think they are better than mums who need to work

Loads of my friends were given generous house deposits as a minimum, some had their first starter home bought for them.

These are quite normal people too. I think people do just keep quiet about it as they like people to think they are standing on their own feet

I have been gifted large sums of money for specific purposes. once was for a car which was out of the blue. Another was to pay off the mortgage on my house for which I am eternally grateful. we don’t really talk about it. I feel like people can be a bit snobby about it like ‘oh you can’t afford your own life so your mummy and daddy helped you out.’ But it wasn’t like that. We didn’t ask for the money, my parents approached us and said we want to do this for you. I later found out they had already done it for my brothers years previously, but that’s another story. Their attitude was like this will make your life better, but we’re not just going to give you a bunch of money to do with us please.

My husband and I have both inherited money. Not millions but enough to pay off the mortgage and completely renovate.
Now my parents are fretting about IHT and we each (4 of us) get £100 on our birthdays and at Christmas. They also paid for our new driveway (didn't ask them to, they insisted it was a housewarming gift). We've never spoken about any of this to anyone.

I don't think it's commonplace but I suspect it's not unusual either for comfortably off families once the older generation starts thinking about IHT ramifications. My parents were definitely not generous like this when I was younger. I'm not suggesting they should have been!

It happens in my circle. We have been the recipients of a gift for a house deposit. My parents' view is they'd rather see us use the money now then wait until after they die (and yes, they have kept money aside for care homes if they need it).

No idea, wouldn’t talk about it. My parents gave us 10k after we bought our house/as a wedding gift (both happened around the same time), and my husband and I were absolutely shocked at the size of the gift. My husband actually couldn’t speak 😂 if they gave me 100k I’d think they’d lost their minds. And I certainly wouldn’t be advertising it.

Gifted is not a verb. Hth.

have received very generous gifts but would never discuss even with very close friends and I don’t think anyone would be aware. I think it happens more than you think but most people are self-aware enough not to discuss it particularly if they know the other person isn’t in similar circumstances

How can it be the norm, when far more people in the UK don't have anywhere near the means to do this for their children? The lower paid working classes are still a sizable majority and are not dropping multiple thousands on their offspring. No matter how privileged your friend is, if she really thinks this is average, she isn't very intelligent. I'd be more inclined to believe its a faux naivety though, that's a kind of snobbery/bragging 'oh that old £100k? Surely that's normal...?'

Not normal in my circle of friends.

A friend of mine and his 2 sisters got similar amounts.

Their father was an accountant with his own firm. He sold the firm when he retired. It was an Inheritance Tax avoidance scheme.

And I think it’s pretty gauche for your friend to mention it to you - just why? Unless you’re in exactly the same position it’s hardly going to make your day better.

A few people I've known about have ' trust funds ' set up to avoid things like care home fees or been able to buy out their parents homes and all kinds of dealings ( no idea how it works)
I've been told that these can be investigated, but the ones I've heard about probably won't be I bet ( they seem to be very savvy at avoiding the worst of the tax laws)
If you know the ways around things you'll be ok it seems ( or the right people or tax advisors)
Money goes to money , it's an old saying and seems to be true for many

DH has been given similar large amounts of money from proceeds of an old family business wound up decades ago and then put in trust for his mother : we have never mentioned it to anyone (I think people just assume he earns a lot more than he actually does as, similarly, we never discuss income with friends but they can see we pay for private school and multiple overseas holidays etc). What’s different, however is we certainly don’t think it’s average or “normal”.

My grandmother’s care home fees are over £90k a year. The odd £1k here and there makes absolutely no difference whatsoever.

If she does make it to 100 which is looking increasingly likely she may not have the funds to stay there without local authority help. But given she will have spent over a million of her own money on it (which is outrageous really) I don’t care if the state now has to help.

My grandmother arranged her finances many decades ago when my grandfather died so that she didn’t own all of her house, only half of it. So there was at least some to pass on. It was completely legal although I don’t know exactly what was involved as I was young.

Friend 1: Parents gifted them 20k house deposit and sold their old house to them with a discount
Selling property at below market value can leave you exposed to investigation for avoiding stamp duty.

I know at least 4 well off people who given their kids the deposit for a home, car (complete with tax and insurance ), paid for grandkids private schooling /set up trusts or savings accounts for them. All the youngish couples who have really nice homes, cars and holidays that I know of, have been gifted substantial amounts of money from parents and/or grandparents. I can understand that many recipients wouldn’t say anything to their friends, as the unfairness at having such an advantage that you haven’t had to do anything to get, would be so obvious to those they know who aren’t as fortunate, and a possible source of embarrassment, guilt, envy, resentment etc. Oh the difference money can make eh.

I agree with this, it's to do with wealth being tied up in property.

Dh and his siblings regularly get given money. Our Easter holiday was paid for example. We probably get a minimium of £15 000 a year in cash (not including birthdays and christmas) plus holidays as do his siblings.

They also gifted us a 3rd of the value of our current house when we bought it.

We don't particularly talk about it to others because it seems rude when I know many of my friends are struggling.

Most of my friends will receive thousands from home sales in the next decade or more and one already has ( if it isn't needed for care home fees)
I feel there will be a big explosion in wealth and it won't all be from so called ' rich ' people either.
( asset rich )
I also feel that the current government and any future governments are also banking on this too
(but that's only my opinion!)

I have one friend who has this. First from her IL's. A house deposit & renos, student loans paid off, 1000's regularly because they 'needed' money, or whatever whim they had paid for. Now they've split her DP's are giving her a house. Neither family are wealthy. They have pinchef from their pension funds or business cashflow to gift it.

I wish she'd have kept it secret. It's bloody hard being constantly told in an off hand way, like someone buying them a coffee, how they've just been gifted more money than we make in a year & then they blow it, booking another holiday or meal out, while we are scrimping for every dollar. I became extremely resentful & eventually reduced contact.

Friend 1: Parents gifted them 20k house deposit and sold their old house to them with a discount.

Friend 2: Dad gave 50k for house

Friend 3: Parents are giving 30k for house

Friend 4: Parents used to spend 10k every year taking her to Disney right until she was about 25

I am in the minority with no help from my parents.

My well off uncle used to give me £100 at birthdays and Xmas when I was a student and young worker, which was very much appreciated.

About 10 years ago my dad gave my brother and I a share of the money he made from selling a small peice of land he inherited from my grandad - about £3k each. Bless him he gave it to me for "a house deposit" - it just about covered conveyancing and moving costs.

That is pretty much in terms of family gifts. I am probably much better off than my dad anyway seeing as he is a partly retired tenant farmer.

OP what did her parents do as a matter of interest?

It’s a bit of both. Her circumstances sound unique. But when people inherit money or have a windfall they would probably keep quiet. A few years back I inherited some money, it was a distant relative so I didn’t even tell my friends he had died. It was quite a bit and aside from my DH I didn’t tell a soul.