To think this isn’t that common? Or do people keep it to themselves?

I wouldn't know. We don't discuss these things.
Over the years my friends might have mentioned that parents or grandparents have helped financially with something or other, but I would find it quite odd if a friend of mine told me every time someone gave her some money. Why is she telling you? She also lacks awareness. It might be average in her circles, but if she thinks it's average across the UK, she is maybe wealthy but ill-informed/

Yes, I think people would keep this to themselves.

YANBU.

YABU to use the term ‘gifted’. What’s wrong with ‘given’?

I've been gifted similar from my parents, but I'd never go around telling people about it, or think that it was usual occurance.
The largest sum by far (80k) was for a house, and I only told my partner and best friend about it. The latter because I wanted advice on whether to accept it.

No tax to pay when gifts are received. Gifts over the annual exemptions may be added back into the estate value when the person making the gifts dies depending on when the gift was made. IHT May then be due on the estate.

Not in my family, there won't be any inheritance either.

I think your friend probably thinks this is 'pretty average' because it's what she's used to and so she expects it must be the case for most people. I once worked with a woman (mid 20s, in a reasonably well paid profession) who came in to work complaining about how unfair it was that her parents were going to reduce her 'allowance' because they were retiring. She seemed genuinely shocked to be told that the rest of us did not receive a monthly payment from our parents to top up our salaries, and in fact many of us managed to pay a mortgage and raise children on 'just' our salary. Apparently she'd expected to continue to receive money from her parents until she got married.

What has this got to do with AIBU. This should be in money matters

My parents gifted us a similar sum for our house deposit. I've never told my friends or extended family.

Not common in my circles.

DHs parents are multi millionaires, and have never given us a penny, apart from about £3k towards our very cheap wedding, that we had to do on a very strict budget.

We are ok for money, but DH's brother is absolutely broke, and has never been given anything either.

It baffles me frankly, that PILs live the jet set lifestyle that they do, and don't offer any help to their kids or grandkids. Even if we go out for a meal (once a year), they don't offer to treat anyone.

Myself, I have inherited from one parent, which helped to wipe a huge chunk off the mortgage, and no, I don't really speak about it freely.

@Moier how did you manage to gift such huge sums? Did you win a lottery?

my grandparents lived in a council house, but my mum (a teacher and single parent, dad died aged 39) was careful with money and a large house she used to make money by renting rooms etc when I grew up.

she regularly topped up my monthly salary when I was early 20s and she saw I needed it, she gave me £5k when I got married and £80k when she inherited some she didn’t need. She gave me £25k from some shares she sold when my kids were babies and I had about £400k from her estate when she died.
my kids had £6k at 18 and will inherit £90k from her estate when they reach 25.

that’s it though - no more coming from anywhere. I’ve bought a property with her inheritance so that’s my pension, and her gifts have made me very privileged which I’m so grateful for - although we have a simple life and shop in Aldi we travel a lot and don’t struggle to pay bills.

despite my kids getting what some will think is a huge amount at 25 I suspect their lives will not be easy as mine, although my brother has a huge house and no kids, so I suspect they’ll benefit from that.

to answer your question, my experience is that many people do get funding from family, but I suspect geography comes into it - many of those in the south east have a lot of cash available compared to elsewhere.

Of course it happens, with parents in middle to high income households. Especially now that house prices are so high.

All the posters saying they have been gifted sums of tens of thousands or house deposits etc in some cases to avoid IHT - do you not have to declare and pay tax on those gifts?

DH and I have been talking a lot about how to help the DCs financially when they are older and I thought I had read that anything over a few thousand was liable for tax (on the part of the recipient). Would be very happy to be told otherwise though.

Not that much money. But I’ve been gifted a significant amount from my Dad but it the money in my Mum’s current account after she died.

As the thread goes on its got me thinking, surely its all relative - my dad gave me £2,000 for a house deposit and that was the entire deposit required; so bearing in mind his income was about £20k then and that this was about 35 years ago, would that now be equivalent to someone on £100k a year giving a deposit of £25k now? Sorry maths isn't my strong point.

So 35 years ago was I one of these people getting a lot of help from parents?

Whilst I was typing I see a few more posts coming up with similar comments, I really do think its a lot more common that some might think - there is a LOT of money knocking around in this country! I do think there is something intriguing though in that people who can afford to do this (and I've nothing against that whatsoever) or those who benefit from it are constantly pleading poverty. I find that fascinating - why do they think they are hard up? Probably fodder for another thread.

No financial help from either side of the families for us, in fact, I have to support my mum financially. But I know of a few people that have been helped with money for a home deposit (£15k) and whose parents pay for holidays or their kids clubs/expensive hobbies, replace broken appliances etc. I guess as a parent if you are well enough you'd want to help your kids.

Could there be a cultural aspect to it?
I think fairly common in some Asian countries?

Fairly normal in my friendship group too to varying extents. We had help with a house deposit, a sibling had a free place to live for years and a house deposit and free childcare, friends have things like extensions paid for and fancy holidays. Pretty sure one friend's house was bought for them in full.

Personally I think it's worth being open about because, while you might feel jealous, it's better than feeling like you're inadequate because you're not doing as well as other people when they have a massive advantage.

I don't think it's uncommon - maybe not quite so regular, but in my social circle (I'm in my 60s), most people are giving money to their children, and if their parents are still alive they are receiving gifts from them (in addition to inheritance I mean). So one friend in her 50s received £15k as a gift for a holiday which she told me was fairly regular (once or twice a year, from an elderly parent) and then went on to receive enough inheritance to retire, all within the first quarter of the year.

That's a fairly indicative example. All the friends in question would consider themselves working class and middle to low income (!)

OMG did she not get a pink pony either?

My heart breaks for her. The cruelty!

I was given £50 when I went off to university. That's it. I lost a lot of respect for my friend when she phoned sobbing and very upset because her dad had bought the wrong car for her birthday. She was 36 at the time .

It's quite common among my friends. I'm sure it's standard among middle class families where the parents are in their 70s plus with good pensions. Parents give them a few grand every year in some form or another - pay for a holiday or towards a car. Lots of my friends had big inheritances from grandparents because their parents didn't need the money.

I've never inherited but my parents give us some money here and there - they like to give us money for the kids so spending money for holidays, for their new clothes and hobbies. It's at least a grand a year and I'm very grateful. When I was younger they paid for rent deposits, for example, and for my Masters. They can afford it and they know I am sensible with money. I don't tell friends unless it comes up, which it often does as we're quite open about money.

I don't think many people openly boast about being gifted money, at least among people they know are less fortunate. Unless they're pretty unsubtle. So your friend saying it's 'average', well maybe amount other people with rich family or partners? Most people seem to keep information like that pretty private, I mean, even asking someone's salary or the value of their home is rude in British culture? Rightly so of course.
But if you could politely explain she's fortunate and among the general population it's probably far from 'average', I doubt she'd appreciate your feedback.
If she brings up another 'windfall' just laugh and say, 'ah, drinks are on you tonight then!'