To think this isn’t that common? Or do people keep it to themselves?

I get £30 from my mum at Christmas and on my birthday

Nope, not common. I have, however, been gifted money on two occasions by my DPs. Given that my DPs are not wealthy in the slightest it was very much unexpected and not necessary.

I wasn't listed in my DGM's will (as it went just to her two children, so my DM and her DB), but my Mum insisted I have some of it. I logged in to my bank account one day to discover an unexpected £7k deposit. Another time my Dad said he wanted to pay for my wedding cake. We had a pretty special wedding cake and I didn't think he'd want to pay what it cost, so I just didn't say anything. He wouldn't let it go, so in the end I told him how much it was and said that I know it was a lot and that I'd totally understand if they didn't want to give me that much, but the next thing I knew I had the money in my account too.

I'd much rather they spend what they have on themselves. They sacrificed a lot for my sibling and me when we were little and as a result didn't have much of a chance to enjoy themselves. There weren't really any holidays when we were kids, certainly not abroad, and my Dad used to regularly work a 50-60 hour week to make ends meet. I'd much rather they use the opportunity to enjoy themselves now they're at the young end of retired.

We have gifted large sums to our adult children but I hope, for a number of reasons, they have been discreet and not discussed it with friends, although inevitably it becomes apparent when they purchase their first home

My folks have dished out tens of thousands of pounds to help my Brothers onto the property ladder (I bought way back in the early 00s so didn't need the leg up) even though they are not wealthy they would give us their last penny. I don't know many people who have had handouts like this but I suspect with property being so valuable there will be many folk who receive bountiful inheritance. DD boyfriend has wealthy Grandparents and they own a lot of land with houses in a sought after part of the country that will come his way in years to come making him a very wealthy young man.

It’s probably more common than you think. We have been given similar amounts as your op from my in-laws over the years. We haven’t really told anyone about it. You probably wouldn’t know it to look at us, and you wouldn’t necessarily know my in-laws had that level of wealth just by knowing them in a loose sense - they have several investment properties which I doubt many of the people they know are aware of.
On the other hand my family have nothing like that kind of money and my siblings and I have never received any kind of money, so if I’d married someone from a family like mine (middle-class but in vocational professions so never bringing in big bucks and nothing really in the way of inherited wealth) I’d be quite surprised too.

🤷🏻‍♀️ My in-laws give their youngest son a monthly “allowance” of around £300 a month, and have done for many many years. He is 33 and so I do find this very odd, but my husband and his family assure me it is normal. Normal for them I suppose. It takes all kinds!

My in laws do gift us and bil sums like this. Money sat in the bank they say they won't use, and would rather we use it now.
They also pick up school fees occasionally. We're not reliant on it, and I don't get involved, the boys discuss with their parents.
They also gift a lot of their time for childcare, just generally lovely people and we are very fortunate.
We don't discuss the money with others.

I don’t know anyone who has been gifted large sums of money. Maybe it depends what circles you mix in but I’ve never had a single conversation where someone has said they’ve been given large sums of money, and I’ve got a lot of friends

I'm lucky to get €1000 every few years from my grandma. Whenever her savings go over the inheritance tax threshold she gives all her children and grandchildren €1000 each. I'm open with my friends about money and know none of them get gifted any money, so I think it's uncommon, especially the large amounts your friend is getting. 100k in 2 years is more than most people's full time jobs pay them, of course that's not common!!

Thanks Shanghai that's really good to know

I have a very lovely, down to earth friend who has a trust fund. Her and two siblings get a pay out a few times a year. It’s really nice for them as they know they are never far away from the next little pot of money, although I don’t think they know how much until it arrives.

I assume it is a share portfolio, as the amount seems to vary considerably, so sometimes enough for a shopping trip and a hair cut, at other times it has been a new car, or an extension on the house.

She hardly ever mentions it, but often treats her friendship group. Others might make it all quite difficult, but she is one of the loveliest people I know and totally don’t begrudge her good fortune.

This is absolutely not the norm for me or my friends.

It won’t let me delete this!!!! I meant to start a new post - sorry!

I’m wondering if I’m a bit controlling or if I’m justified in feeling a bit peeved about the way this conversation went.

Partner works full time and I’m on a break from work. We don’t share money so he’s not the breadwinner so to speak, in fact I probably pay the lions share including now I’m off work for a while. 2 kids, one disabled.

he’s been offered overtime at work but rather than say I might do overtime on such and such day, is that going to cause any issues with the kids etc. he’s let me know he’s

I’ve never been GIVEN anything, let alone ‘gifted’ 😒

Friend one: her Mum died when she was 7. Her Dad inherited all her Mums money that came from her own Mum, and spent it on a stepmother who abused my friend and had her own kids. Her Dad died, leaving everything to step mother, who left it all to her bio kids.

Friend two: parents died of alcoholism when she was 16, she joined the forces to survive.

Friend three: immigrant parents returned to home country when she was 18, they live a subsistence life on the modest savings they took with them.

Me: lovely attentive parents who gave us all the opportunities they could manage, but never had spare money to give away. Left a modest inheritance from their small house, split between their Dc

I know people who come from far wealthier backgrounds and I dare say they have benefitted from that in different ways, and I am happy for them. But the details are not my business.

Surely it just depends on whether the family is rich or not? I think it's pretty normal for older relatives to give gifts to younger relatives - the amount of those gifts will obviously vary depending on how rich the giver is! So my lovely gran used to give me a £20 note every time she saw me, even when I was an adult with a full time job. I saw her probably 6 times a year. I have no doubt that if she'd been rich, she'd have been handing me £100 each time, or maybe depositing £1k into my bank account! When she died she left each of her grandkids £2k.

My parents are a bit better off and they gifted us our stamp duty on our first house, as we were living with them and they wanted us out more quickly than we could save! They wouldn't (and couldn't) hand me £100k for no reason, but I'm sure they would be helping us out more with random gifts for specific things like holidays or renovations if they had the money.

And no, i don't talk to friends about gifts my relatives give me - why would I? None of their business and would just make them feel bad if they didn't have the same themselves.

I know a couple of separate people who've been given house deposits by their families. I was pleased for them because they are my friends, not jealous because I wasn't in that position. It would only make me less happy if I didn't like the person.

I think the concept is really common - just the amount differs.

Many people will get an inheritance. Whether that's Aunt Maud's china set, or £1m from a larger estate. Your friend is not abnormal at all. Eight years ago she received something (from a relative dying maybe?) and nearly a decade later she got another inheritance.

It all varies, an only child will inherit the whole pot (again, whether that be £500 or £500k) but siblings instantly have their pot halved/thirds etc. Separated families may leave things to second wives/children instead.

Most people will receive an inheritance/gift of sorts in their life. How big, entirely depending on their situation.

My parents gave me a £5k loan for a car once and it caused so much **ing drama I took out a loan and paid them back.

No you do not need to pay tax on gifts.

If Anna gifts Bob money and dies within 7 years there may be inheritance tax to pay depending on the estate.

It depends. It may be more common than you realise but i am not sure it is that common if you see what I mean.

My Dcs were both left money in a very distant relative's will. 12 beneficiaries left with a very nice sum. 10 of those beneficiaries were in their 30s and ours were under the age of 13 at the time. So the others i expect just quietly paid off their mortgages or bought something and ours has theirs in trust until they are 25.

I'd never tell anyone IRL that. Even the Dcs don't know. But I think they are exceptionally lucky. I've personally never heard of such good fortune but that's because people don't really talk about these things IME. (Unless they are boasting).

I have two friends who have been given large sums like this. There just seems to be money from granny floating around and every now and again a random property gets sold and there’s another 50K handed out. I’ll never get anything like these sums. Another friend’s gran died and they found deeds in draws that showed they owned lots of buildings on local high streets that no one knew about. Cue thousands more in inheritance.

Most people I know in my circle will have had money to help buy their houses because the prices here are so high and it basically wouldn’t have been possible without help for the majority. They haven’t all told me, some have though. But it’s just obvious. Like most people who are 30 couldn’t buy a house that was say £700k on their own.
Ive also got friends who have had grandparents give away money before or after their died and same with parents. Many people benefitted from relatively cheap houses which multiplied in value. And wages have stagnated. So unless they want their kids living with them forever ….
Some were given money to get training done for well paid careers too. Or given money to avoid IT.

I think it's more people than you imagine. Certainly, just thinking of close friends I know - as a disclaimer, I am middle class - I have several friends whose parents contributed a significant amount to the purchase of their first homes. One friend's parents bought her a house in uni so that she could largely live rent free (and take in friends as lodgers). That was 20 years before I could afford to buy a house! So you could imagine the advantages that gave her in terms of equity.

My family gave me money when I bought a house. It was my inheritance for all intents and purposes. Their thought was, why sit it in an investment account somewhere growing money for them for another decade or more when they could see it put to good use while they were still alive? They are financially comfortable with very good private pensions and to be completely honest, have more money than they no what to do with. They have a habit of giving money to friends and family, so I think this was just normal. Now has it caused me no end of drama in the end? Yes. It has, because I have tricky family dynamics. But I'm grateful for the financial security it's meant I could provide for my children.

I've honestly never talked to anyone about it though. Dh and I both earn well and we saved a huge deposit on our own before we bought our first house. So I don't think anyone would think we had some family money in there as well, though maybe they do. For Christmases, birthdays, etc. large monetary gifts would have also been fairly normal. I don't mean, like £5k for a birthday, but yes, I can see how it might add up to £1-2K over a year or so maybe for multiple occasions. Again, it would never occur to me to mention it, nor would it occur to me to ask what other people's parents give them. Certainly, people spend silly amounts on gifts sometimes - a purse, a new iphone, a crazy expensive meal out, but we often think of giving money of the same amount as being somehow privileged.

Wow, how come you went from a poor background to giving away a couple of million pounds?

Yes I’ve been gifted similar sums to the friend in the OP by my parents, that has mostly gone into house deposit and renovations.
In my own social circles it’s not uncommon, but nor is it everyone’s experience.

my parents have been fortunate with their own housing, inheritances and investments and so have been in a position to pass on wealth to me and my sibling.