Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be completely shocked about someone I used to know

721 replies

EWAB · 03/05/2024 10:21

When my youngest was at primary school I really liked this woman who had kids either side of mine.

She was in the PTA equivalent and was just a nice woman. There was no drama around her.

I remember having a day off and went into the local cafe, and she invited me to sit with her friends. She was funny, warm and witty.

Significantly, she had friends of all ethnicities and her best friend was Asian.

Everybody will relate to being busy but I think if it was a different time in my life or we had kids in same year we would have been mates.

I am absolutely shocked that she is a member of a right wing political party and has a presence in that party, utterly and completely shocked.

I know it’s not illegal but God.

All three of my siblings are Tories, I’m not someone who thinks everyone has to think like me but I am stunned.

Mumsnet hates this, but I have had a physical reaction to the news. I am just Gobsmacked and weirdly let down and I do know that’s a stupid, irrational thing to say.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
BIossomtoes · 03/05/2024 21:12

If disgruntled remainers want to wail and moan into their far left echo chamber

You do know plenty of Tories voted Remain? I wouldn’t be at all surprised if we moved closer to the EU incrementally until we’re effectively back in. Brexit is the biggest example of national self harm imaginable.

belovedandpureones · 03/05/2024 21:11

Maia77 · 03/05/2024 21:05

You seem to imply that a minority that claims benefits fraudulently is a bigger threat to this country than grand corruption.
I really don't need your respect, so we're fine there.

Ditto! Off you pop

Maia77 · 03/05/2024 21:10

LordPercyPercy · 03/05/2024 20:43

I'm surprised to see so many posters being so blasé about politics at the time when the NHS is falling apart, energy prices have skyrocketed, people on 'decent' salary have to claim UC to make ends meet, people with mental health issues are being told to toughen up and so on....

I'm persuaded. We should disenfranchise anyone that doesn't have the correct political views, for the greater good.

Well, unless people vote for something better, it's going to be more of this and I don't see many benefiting from the current state of things. People have the power to change things, that's democracy.

SabreIsMyFave · 03/05/2024 21:09

maryanne3 · 03/05/2024 19:53

And yet Leavers whinged for 41 years after the 1975 referendum in order to get their vote. Seems that was OK, but we are all supposed to sit back and shut up now. Not going to happen. Sorry.

Please yourself @maryanne3 . If disgruntled remainers want to wail and moan into their far left echo chamber, about LOSING the Brexit vote - (til hell freezes over,) fine by me, Smile

It's only themselves that they're making miserable and angry. They're just boring everyone else. (And making them laugh with all the spitting their dummies out, and throwing their toys out of the pram.) We've left the EU. We ain't going back. Not gonna happen. SORRY.Grin

Lampzade · 03/05/2024 21:08

JudgeJ · 03/05/2024 16:44

What if someone found out that their neighbours were paid up members of, say, BLM and defined them as 'not decent people'? Would that be OK for them to have a different opinion to you or does everyone have to sing from the same hymn sheet?

Think about what you have written..,

SeriaMau · 03/05/2024 21:06

I have a friend who is decent and kind. He is very concerned that ordinary people are being betrayed by those in power, and is a firm believer in the freedom and rights of every working man/woman.
Guess which party he votes for?

Maia77 · 03/05/2024 21:05

belovedandpureones · 03/05/2024 20:44

And there it is 🤣 I have no time for people that spout this crap as some kind of justification! Who said I agreed with this? Where have I said anything that isn’t true? Anyone that spouts loony left rhetoric does not have my respect, period

You seem to imply that a minority that claims benefits fraudulently is a bigger threat to this country than grand corruption.
I really don't need your respect, so we're fine there.

Gioia1 · 03/05/2024 21:03

pugwash4x4 · 03/05/2024 20:55

The Brexit/xenophobia thing always makes me laugh.

We were part of a big club that specifically and continuously excluded countries that were non white and actively prejudiced people of colour from those countries. We left that club so now we can invite people of any colour and creed from any country.

Somehow Brexit is racist but the EU isn't?

When the EU admits Morocco/Tunisia/Algeria etc then I'll consider that it may not be institutionally racist, until then......

@pugwash4x4
have these three countries you named swapped continents ? Genuine question.

SabreIsMyFave · 03/05/2024 21:03

Maia77 · 03/05/2024 19:52

Right-wing populism is associated with euroscepticism, opposition to immigration, anti-environmentalism, neonationalism, welfare chauvinism etc.
Left wing politics - social equality and egalitarianism.

😂

Leah5678 · 03/05/2024 20:57

Maia77 · 03/05/2024 20:28

I'm surprised to see so many posters being so blasé about politics at the time when the NHS is falling apart, energy prices have skyrocketed, people on 'decent' salary have to claim UC to make ends meet, people with mental health issues are being told to toughen up and so on....

A big part of the reason people are broke is because of house/rent prices because of supply and demand of the sheer amount of people moving here. But oh no the woman described in the op is evil for wanting to vote a party that says it'll cut down immigration 🤔

pugwash4x4 · 03/05/2024 20:55

The Brexit/xenophobia thing always makes me laugh.

We were part of a big club that specifically and continuously excluded countries that were non white and actively prejudiced people of colour from those countries. We left that club so now we can invite people of any colour and creed from any country.

Somehow Brexit is racist but the EU isn't?

When the EU admits Morocco/Tunisia/Algeria etc then I'll consider that it may not be institutionally racist, until then......

Maia77 · 03/05/2024 20:55

Polishedshoesalways · 03/05/2024 20:45

And you keep taxing the wealthy and what happens? You get a brain drain. You end up with LESS taxes.

Oh right. OK. Ultra wealthy can afford to pay those taxes.
Btw LSE interviewed the riches 1% and none said they would leave UK for tax reasons.
Brain drain is happening already - many doctors are leaving UK because of poor working condition and pay.

Springchickenonion · 03/05/2024 20:48

You know what..I never looked at reform.

I just read the policies and actually they stand for good things. (Thanks OP)

Why is there hate on them?

disclaimer I know bugger all about politics

Polishedshoesalways · 03/05/2024 20:47

HRTQueen · 03/05/2024 20:46

It’s really not shocking that what seem to be nice intelligent people hold right wing vows

I know a number of passionate remainers who loved to voice their opinions about all leave voters being nasty racists who are now complaining that now we are out of the EU we have the wrong type of immigrants who don’t share our values 😬 now where have I heard that before

i noticed that too.

belovedandpureones · 03/05/2024 20:47

BIossomtoes · 03/05/2024 20:45

God help us when you are angry.

Dont worry, I am never as angry as a leftie 🤢

HRTQueen · 03/05/2024 20:46

It’s really not shocking that what seem to be nice intelligent people hold right wing vows

I know a number of passionate remainers who loved to voice their opinions about all leave voters being nasty racists who are now complaining that now we are out of the EU we have the wrong type of immigrants who don’t share our values 😬 now where have I heard that before

BIossomtoes · 03/05/2024 20:45

belovedandpureones · 03/05/2024 20:45

And FWIW I am not angry, just totally fed up with the views of entitled, self-righteous, inward looking lefties

God help us when you are angry.

Polishedshoesalways · 03/05/2024 20:45

Maia77 · 03/05/2024 20:43

It's falling apart because it has been deliberately underfunded.
A 2% wealth tax on assets over £10m could raise £22bn. Reforming non-dom status rules could raise £3.2bn a year and so on....

And you keep taxing the wealthy and what happens? You get a brain drain. You end up with LESS taxes.

belovedandpureones · 03/05/2024 20:45

LordPercyPercy · 03/05/2024 20:43

I'm surprised to see so many posters being so blasé about politics at the time when the NHS is falling apart, energy prices have skyrocketed, people on 'decent' salary have to claim UC to make ends meet, people with mental health issues are being told to toughen up and so on....

I'm persuaded. We should disenfranchise anyone that doesn't have the correct political views, for the greater good.

And FWIW I am not angry, just totally fed up with the views of entitled, self-righteous, inward looking lefties

belovedandpureones · 03/05/2024 20:44

Maia77 · 03/05/2024 20:39

Sorry, but you are spouting right wing populist rhetoric. Why isn't your anger directed towards the fat cats, those who were handed out fraudulent contracts during lockdown. Around £1.6 billion worth of contracts were awarded as a result of referrals from just ten politicians at the heart of the Conservative party.

And there it is 🤣 I have no time for people that spout this crap as some kind of justification! Who said I agreed with this? Where have I said anything that isn’t true? Anyone that spouts loony left rhetoric does not have my respect, period

LordPercyPercy · 03/05/2024 20:43

I'm surprised to see so many posters being so blasé about politics at the time when the NHS is falling apart, energy prices have skyrocketed, people on 'decent' salary have to claim UC to make ends meet, people with mental health issues are being told to toughen up and so on....

I'm persuaded. We should disenfranchise anyone that doesn't have the correct political views, for the greater good.

Maia77 · 03/05/2024 20:43

belovedandpureones · 03/05/2024 20:33

The NHS is falling apart as it does not have the resources to deal with the amount of people it is treating

It's falling apart because it has been deliberately underfunded.
A 2% wealth tax on assets over £10m could raise £22bn. Reforming non-dom status rules could raise £3.2bn a year and so on....

SweetcornFritter · 03/05/2024 20:43

EWAB · 03/05/2024 17:34

I Might have given the impression that I knew her less than I did, while we weren’t close friends I knew her for about six years. We volunteered over that time for our kids’ school.
I have nothing but praise for her. She never indulged in gossip and didn’t attract or cause any drama unlike a lot of others there.
Somebody asked whether I would have been shocked had she been on the far left. I probably would’ve been shocked but not as shocked. I would have imagined she was reasonably centre like me.
Anything that is not mainstream politically shocks me.
I knew I was going to get pasted on here for my visceral response and I can live with that but I couldn’t help it, I felt really ill when I realised what she is like.

I had to look up Reform UK’s policies to see which of them was particularly vile and sick-making. These are their key ones:
Lower taxes
Net zero immigration
Zero waiting lists
Cheaper energy

Which one causes you the most upset? Let me guess, it’s point 2 isn’t it? I think you’ll find however that lower or net zero immigration is popular with a large sector of the population, even (or especially with) traditional Labour voters in certain parts of the country.

Ghosttofu99 · 03/05/2024 20:42

Don’t think we want to be ‘open minded’ to xenophobia thanks.

ZoeCM · 03/05/2024 20:42

So the EU had 41years to address the concerns of the British public and didn't? The British public gave the EU 41 years before saying enough? And the issue isn't "whinging", the issue is remainers don't seem to be able to whinge without ABUSING leavers. Accusing them of bigotry, ignorance, stupidity, racism, calling them gammon and god knows what else.

But leavers insult Remainers all the time. They call them everything under the sun!