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AIBU?

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Original poster

Its a fence one .

259 replies

pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:00

We are having our garden landscaped the fence between our neighbours and ours was falling apart so even though it is actually neighbours fence we let them know that we are willing to replace . They said fine but can we make sure its like for like we said yes no problem.

I admit i didn't specify to our landscaper the fence had to be exactly the same i just said same height and we have chosen to replace the wooden post with concrete.
This hasnt come cheap . Upshot is the neighbours have gone mad about the new fence and demanded they at least get the better side of the fence which we have agreed to but im now feeling abit hard done by as yes ok its not exactly the same fence panel but it is a. stronger panel with concrete foundations .

OP posts:
SleepPrettyDarling · 03/05/2024 08:43

It’s a good fence, and with the concrete base it’s more weatherproof so should last longer. However, considering you bought do recently I’m surprised you didn’t find out where exactly the boundary lay, and who owned the fence. By the looks of it, there are no fixings on their side, as the concrete supports it - is that right?

id be inclined to say you’ve got a better fence for both of ye, it matches their rear fence, and hopefully it serves you both well. I do think you made a mistake on not establishing ownership.

SpryCat · 03/05/2024 08:42

You’ve had stronger fence panels put in with concrete gravel boards at bottom so the wood won’t be touching the ground which will make it last longer and with concrete posts that are far superior to wooden posts that rot quickl and not as robust. They have rustic panels that which are not as durable, hard to repair and are shit. Had you done like for like then they wouldn’t last as long as the ones you’ve had installed, they are just moaners and I would just tell them it’s better fencing than what they have and just ignore them after.

Original poster
pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:42

Why ??
We actually said dont worry guys we'l be sorting the fence out this summer . Not once did they say it was actually theirs . They just said make sure its the same which i didnt think about enough clearly .

OP posts:
rightoguvnor · 03/05/2024 08:42

But it's now all mismatched. They've got to look out of their kitchen window/sit on their patio looking at mismatched fence panels all around - even on fences that the deeds say belong to them.
I stand by my previous comment - more fool the neighbour for allowing you to touch their boundary - but would you like to look out at that. I suspect not.

drowninginsick · 03/05/2024 08:41

pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:36

We didnt ask permission we let them know we are putting a new fence in .

And if it is there fans, this makes you sound like a proper twat

marzipanlover81 · 03/05/2024 08:40

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drowninginsick · 03/05/2024 08:40

The old fence doesn't look anywhere near as dilapidated as you're making out. It's very different. It will weather down and look better with age though.

ToxicChristmas · 03/05/2024 08:40

It looks nice, but it's definitely nothing like the old fence which was what they asked for when you approached them and you agreed to like for like. I'm sure they probably are dicks, but you haven't done what you agreed.

Hereyoume · 03/05/2024 08:39

pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:36

We didnt ask permission we let them know we are putting a new fence in .

And that tells us all we need to know about your general attitude towards others.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 03/05/2024 08:39

ToxicChristmas · 03/05/2024 08:22

Vertical slats is a big difference -will definitely look weird in their garden now with the other fencing. I can see why they are pissed off.

Ahhh now that's a good point and could easily have been done?

Original poster
pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:37

because they are still getting a brand new fence .

OP posts:
Notamum12345577 · 03/05/2024 08:37

It’s a nice fence, it is a lot different though!

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 03/05/2024 08:37

If the original panel was deteriorating badly then surely any decent panel will be a significant upgrade?!! I mean, you could really have some fun with their "like for like " demands ... !

Feels a bit like they are chancing it when they can't be arsed to do something about it themselves Confused

heldinadream · 03/05/2024 08:37

pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:33

This is it

That's a lovely secure job and if you were my neighbours I'd be very grateful.
People are so combative nowadays.
Sorry OP. I personally think you sound like good neighbours.
Best of luck.

Original poster
pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:36

We didnt ask permission we let them know we are putting a new fence in .

OP posts:
Herdinggoats · 03/05/2024 08:36

pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:34

this is what we have done bar the wine and flowers . i still feel hard done by .

Show quote history

But it was your error? Why are you hard done by having to put it right?

Elebag · 03/05/2024 08:36

They are clearly nuts. If they can't be bothered to maintain a fence they can't whinge when you put up a robust one. The concrete posts are much better should have hedgehog holes in the bottom though.

My neighbours are awful too so I had to pay for a fence just over on my side.

marzipanlover81 · 03/05/2024 08:36

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marzipanlover81 · 03/05/2024 08:35

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Usernamesarenoteasy · 03/05/2024 08:35

pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:12

Well , The fence is question was in such a bad state we have not long bought the house . They keep their garden quite nice so we assumed it must be ours . Nor when we mentioned replacing the fence did they make and kind of noises about chipping in or paying fully so we really did think we owned it .
Knowing what we know now we should of just put the new one up infront of theirs . We can not put the old one back it fell to pieces when taken down .

So you genuinely thought you owned it, and yet asked them for permission to change their fence, and agreed to their request to replace like for like.
Which is it?

Original poster
pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:34

Herdinggoats · 03/05/2024 08:33

To be honest you’ve fucked up big time. This is basic homeowner etiquette. Who owns the fence is the first thing you find out, then if it’s yours you notify them that you are going to replace, if it’s theirs you ask and negotiate for what you want to happen.

The fact you’ve just steamed in and done what you want has labelled you as shitty neighbours. How you handle this will set the tone for years to come.

Id acknowledge you were wrong, explain it as inexperience. Tell them you will replace back to a like for like if they wish, but you would rather just turn the panels if they are ok with that. And give them some flowers or a bottle of wine. You are going to live next to these people for years, getting on with neighbours makes life so much easier

this is what we have done bar the wine and flowers . i still feel hard done by .

OP posts:
Pheasantsmate · 03/05/2024 08:33

pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:32

Been awful to us since the day we moved in .

By the sound of this thread you deserve it

Original poster
pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:33

This is it

Its a fence one .
OP posts:
Herdinggoats · 03/05/2024 08:33

To be honest you’ve fucked up big time. This is basic homeowner etiquette. Who owns the fence is the first thing you find out, then if it’s yours you notify them that you are going to replace, if it’s theirs you ask and negotiate for what you want to happen.

The fact you’ve just steamed in and done what you want has labelled you as shitty neighbours. How you handle this will set the tone for years to come.

Id acknowledge you were wrong, explain it as inexperience. Tell them you will replace back to a like for like if they wish, but you would rather just turn the panels if they are ok with that. And give them some flowers or a bottle of wine. You are going to live next to these people for years, getting on with neighbours makes life so much easier

Original poster
pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:32

Been awful to us since the day we moved in .

OP posts:
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