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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Its a fence one .

259 replies

pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:00

We are having our garden landscaped the fence between our neighbours and ours was falling apart so even though it is actually neighbours fence we let them know that we are willing to replace . They said fine but can we make sure its like for like we said yes no problem.

I admit i didn't specify to our landscaper the fence had to be exactly the same i just said same height and we have chosen to replace the wooden post with concrete.
This hasnt come cheap . Upshot is the neighbours have gone mad about the new fence and demanded they at least get the better side of the fence which we have agreed to but im now feeling abit hard done by as yes ok its not exactly the same fence panel but it is a. stronger panel with concrete foundations .

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 03/05/2024 09:04

pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:57

Yes we are infact after reading the replies i might just change the panels but they will not get the good side if i do .

Show quote history

You can get panels that look the same on both sides. I have them.

Sillyjane · 03/05/2024 09:04

pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:58

There you go OP, just move it a couple of inches over so it’s on your side.

But then they have no fence at all .

So, they can put up their own.

SoupDragon · 03/05/2024 09:03

So, they said "like for like" and you've gone for "completely different"

I bet it is really ugly from their side with the rails. No wonder they're pissed off.

fieldsofbutterflies · 03/05/2024 08:59

idreamoftoddlersleepytime · 03/05/2024 08:55

An awful a lot of bollocks been spoken on this thread. I do not really consider that using concrete posts rather than wooden post is the sin that some people seem to imagine. Wooden posts are rubbish. They rot and snap after about 5 to 8 years. They are cut these days from modern growth timber and treated, but are not like the old growth posts dipped in creosote of old. Your neighbours are being ridiculous. They are also cheeky Fockers. Do not give them the good side of the fence. just make sure it's on your side of the boundary. People talking about legal claims are scare mongering.

It doesn't matter what you (or OP) personally think of the replacement, though - It wasn't her fence to remove and replace to start with.

LakieLady · 03/05/2024 08:59

YABU, OP. You said you'd replace with like for like, and you haven't, which puts you firmly in the wrong.

I think they're a bit bonkers though, I much prefer close-boarded vertical fencing to the horizontal lap-boarded type. Imo the former is a lot more durable.

Original poster
pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:59

Bankholidayhelp · 03/05/2024 08:57

Is it actually for definite theirs?

yep after going over our plans the T is on their side not on ours

OP posts:
Original poster
pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:58

There you go OP, just move it a couple of inches over so it’s on your side.

But then they have no fence at all .

OP posts:
paintingvenice · 03/05/2024 08:57

idreamoftoddlersleepytime · 03/05/2024 08:55

An awful a lot of bollocks been spoken on this thread. I do not really consider that using concrete posts rather than wooden post is the sin that some people seem to imagine. Wooden posts are rubbish. They rot and snap after about 5 to 8 years. They are cut these days from modern growth timber and treated, but are not like the old growth posts dipped in creosote of old. Your neighbours are being ridiculous. They are also cheeky Fockers. Do not give them the good side of the fence. just make sure it's on your side of the boundary. People talking about legal claims are scare mongering.

There you go OP, just move it a couple of inches over so it’s on your side.

Bankholidayhelp · 03/05/2024 08:57

Is it actually for definite theirs?

Original poster
pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:57

Hustleonwards · 03/05/2024 08:54

Removing a neighbour fence without permission is classed as criminal damage. It isn’t clear here if the OP said that this work might be happening in the summer and hadn’t expressly notified the neighbour or if they had specifically been told. But either way we can safely say that permission was conditional on a like for like swap. I’d be treading very carefully on this one OP.

Yes we are infact after reading the replies i might just change the panels but they will not get the good side if i do .

OP posts:
GinForBreakfast · 03/05/2024 08:56

pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:33

This is it

That is one fugly fence. Sorry.

idreamoftoddlersleepytime · 03/05/2024 08:55

An awful a lot of bollocks been spoken on this thread. I do not really consider that using concrete posts rather than wooden post is the sin that some people seem to imagine. Wooden posts are rubbish. They rot and snap after about 5 to 8 years. They are cut these days from modern growth timber and treated, but are not like the old growth posts dipped in creosote of old. Your neighbours are being ridiculous. They are also cheeky Fockers. Do not give them the good side of the fence. just make sure it's on your side of the boundary. People talking about legal claims are scare mongering.

Original poster
pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:55

Haha well this is for an abnormally stubborn tree stump

OP posts:
Hustleonwards · 03/05/2024 08:54

Removing a neighbour fence without permission is classed as criminal damage. It isn’t clear here if the OP said that this work might be happening in the summer and hadn’t expressly notified the neighbour or if they had specifically been told. But either way we can safely say that permission was conditional on a like for like swap. I’d be treading very carefully on this one OP.

fieldsofbutterflies · 03/05/2024 08:53

Sillyjane · 03/05/2024 08:47

Meh, I’d tell them to put their own fence up the other side and to do one. I’d not give them the nice side, twatty entitled folks.

If OP was my neighbour and did that, I would be sorely tempted to rip out the brand new fence and replace it with one I like - and I'd send her the bill seeing as she was the one who took down my fence to start with!

fieldsofbutterflies · 03/05/2024 08:50

pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:37

because they are still getting a brand new fence .

Talk about missing the point 🙄

viques · 03/05/2024 08:48

I think to be fair you have put up a better fence, I am assuming it will go all the way down the garden when it is finished! New fences always look a bit ugh because the wood is so bright, but it will weather down.

They are probably more worried about what you are planning to do that requires a mechanical digger……………

Haydenn · 03/05/2024 08:48

Sillyjane · 03/05/2024 08:47

Meh, I’d tell them to put their own fence up the other side and to do one. I’d not give them the nice side, twatty entitled folks.

But it’s on their boundary and they don’t like the fence. What the neighbours should do is rip that one down and put up what they like and send OP the bill.

Sillyjane · 03/05/2024 08:47

Meh, I’d tell them to put their own fence up the other side and to do one. I’d not give them the nice side, twatty entitled folks.

Pricklylikethecactus · 03/05/2024 08:46

pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:44

I do think you made a mistake on not establishing ownership.

Yes definitely

So are you one of those people that when they make a mistake doesn’t take ownership, and expects others just to live with it?

Jimoline · 03/05/2024 08:46

My old fence looked like your old one and my neighbours replaced it with the new one you have. It’s so much nicer and seems stronger too. You’ve done your neighbours a favour.

FourOfDiamonds · 03/05/2024 08:45

pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:33

This is it

Sorry op but I'd be annoyed too if I was your neighbour. I hate concrete posts and vertical slats. Personally I think the style of what was originally there is 100 times nicer. If I was your neighbour I would ask you to take down and replace like for like as agreed. It's a shame as obviously you were trying to be helpful and neighbourly but that's my take.

Original poster
pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:44

I do think you made a mistake on not establishing ownership.

Yes definitely

OP posts:
HappyintheHills · 03/05/2024 08:44

pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:37

because they are still getting a brand new fence .

But you agreed to ensure that replacement would be like for like, and it’s not.
All you had to do was do what you said you would do.

Anyotherdude · 03/05/2024 08:43

The general rule is that you put the “nice” side on the outside of your garden. This stems from the days when an arris rail fence was the standard.

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