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AIBU?

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Its a fence one .

259 replies

pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:00

We are having our garden landscaped the fence between our neighbours and ours was falling apart so even though it is actually neighbours fence we let them know that we are willing to replace . They said fine but can we make sure its like for like we said yes no problem.

I admit i didn't specify to our landscaper the fence had to be exactly the same i just said same height and we have chosen to replace the wooden post with concrete.
This hasnt come cheap . Upshot is the neighbours have gone mad about the new fence and demanded they at least get the better side of the fence which we have agreed to but im now feeling abit hard done by as yes ok its not exactly the same fence panel but it is a. stronger panel with concrete foundations .

OP posts:
pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 09:57

The fence was knackered , The posts were decaying and swaying in the wind .

OP posts:
Idontjetwashthefucker · 03/05/2024 09:52

idreamoftoddlersleepytime · 03/05/2024 09:40

OP you'll get 20 years or more out of the new fence provided it's not angled into the prevailing wind. If a panel fails, simple job to swap out. Ignore all the people being ridiculous over minor aesthetic differences. If you were my neighbour I'd be grateful for the obvious upgrade.

Yep, I agree with this, the only difference being I would have offered to contribute

idreamoftoddlersleepytime · 03/05/2024 09:40

OP you'll get 20 years or more out of the new fence provided it's not angled into the prevailing wind. If a panel fails, simple job to swap out. Ignore all the people being ridiculous over minor aesthetic differences. If you were my neighbour I'd be grateful for the obvious upgrade.

SoupDragon · 03/05/2024 09:35

idreamoftoddlersleepytime · 03/05/2024 09:32

@Whinge @SoupDragon the photo shows two panels in the old run. It does not show what is or was going on further down the fence line, or the prior condition of the fencing that has already been removed. The fence that came out is about as cheap as you can go and showing signs of rot, this is predictable when the panels have been set to the ground where they become permanently wet. If you have dogs etc, it wouldn't be secure at ground level once damage starts to build up.

And? It's still doesn't show a fence that is "falling down" and it definitely doesn't show a "like for like" replacement.

Sillyjane · 03/05/2024 09:35

fieldsofbutterflies · 03/05/2024 09:29

The point is, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of the fence. It wasn't OP's to replace.

This is valid. The op really should put the old one back and put hers in front of it,

idreamoftoddlersleepytime · 03/05/2024 09:32

@Whinge @SoupDragon the photo shows two panels in the old run. It does not show what is or was going on further down the fence line, or the prior condition of the fencing that has already been removed. The fence that came out is about as cheap as you can go and showing signs of rot, this is predictable when the panels have been set to the ground where they become permanently wet. If you have dogs etc, it wouldn't be secure at ground level once damage starts to build up.

fieldsofbutterflies · 03/05/2024 09:29

WhatDaPoint · 03/05/2024 09:27

Wow, posters are going overboard trying to skate the OP.
The new fence looks a million times better.
Can you ask them to leave it a few weeks and see if they get used to it?

The point is, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of the fence. It wasn't OP's to replace.

SoupDragon · 03/05/2024 09:27

idreamoftoddlersleepytime · 03/05/2024 09:22

@fieldsofbutterflies have you missed the bit where the old fence was falling down and required replacement, and that neighbours haven't contributed to the costs.

The panels in the photo don't look "falling down and requiring replacement" though.

WhatDaPoint · 03/05/2024 09:27

Wow, posters are going overboard trying to skate the OP.
The new fence looks a million times better.
Can you ask them to leave it a few weeks and see if they get used to it?

Whinge · 03/05/2024 09:25

idreamoftoddlersleepytime · 03/05/2024 09:22

@fieldsofbutterflies have you missed the bit where the old fence was falling down and required replacement, and that neighbours haven't contributed to the costs.

From the photo the OP shared the old fence looks well just that, old. It's weathered, but it doesn't look like it was falling down. The neighbours didn't need a new fence, the OP wanted one, so why should they contribute?

fieldsofbutterflies · 03/05/2024 09:24

idreamoftoddlersleepytime · 03/05/2024 09:22

@fieldsofbutterflies have you missed the bit where the old fence was falling down and required replacement, and that neighbours haven't contributed to the costs.

Nope, not at all. But it wasn't OP's fence to replace. If she wasn't happy with it, she was free to build her own fence in her own property that was more to her liking.

What she wasn't entitled to do was destroy someone else's fence and replace it with something completely different 🤷‍♀️

There's no obligation for the neighbours to even have a fence, so of course they shouldn't have to pay to replace something they didn't want removing to begin with!

idreamoftoddlersleepytime · 03/05/2024 09:22

@fieldsofbutterflies have you missed the bit where the old fence was falling down and required replacement, and that neighbours haven't contributed to the costs.

fieldsofbutterflies · 03/05/2024 09:20

idreamoftoddlersleepytime · 03/05/2024 09:18

@fieldsofbutterflies other people have mentioned criminal damage. You're probably lovely, but glad you're not my neighbour. Life involves give and take. OP's neighbours are taking with give. It's not reasonable, and I wouldn't bend to them.

And I’m glad my neighbour isn’t someone who destroys my stuff, replaces it with something I don’t like and expects me to be grateful for it 🤷‍♀️

idreamoftoddlersleepytime · 03/05/2024 09:19

Sorry, "taking with no give".

idreamoftoddlersleepytime · 03/05/2024 09:18

@fieldsofbutterflies other people have mentioned criminal damage. You're probably lovely, but glad you're not my neighbour. Life involves give and take. OP's neighbours are taking with give. It's not reasonable, and I wouldn't bend to them.

SoupDragon · 03/05/2024 09:17

frankentall · 03/05/2024 09:12

Struggling to see which is the "bad" side based on the picture?

Also people saying a change from horizontal to veritcal is a massive deal because it won't match the rest of the neighbours fucked up fences - do people really have so little in their sad lives that they think like this about a fucking garden fence? If I was your neighbour OP I'd be delighted you'd saved me a job.

Eh? The bad side is the side you can't see in the picture.

fieldsofbutterflies · 03/05/2024 09:16

@idreamoftoddlersleepytime they're not wrong - the neighbours agreed to a like for like replacement, which OP blatantly ignored.

I also never mentioned criminal damage.

ToxicChristmas · 03/05/2024 09:13

fieldsofbutterflies · 03/05/2024 08:59

It doesn't matter what you (or OP) personally think of the replacement, though - It wasn't her fence to remove and replace to start with.

This is what is comes down to.
It's their fence. The one thing they initially asked for was like for like -and it's completely different.
It makes no difference at all if the OP or anyone here thinks it looks better and will be stronger. It makes no difference if the neighbours are dickheads or angels sent from heaven. They don't like the fence. I think it's better -but it's not my fence!
I'd apologise and change the panels personally. You can get double sided ones. It's an expensive mistake, but it was your mistake and you have to live next door to these people long term.

idreamoftoddlersleepytime · 03/05/2024 09:13

@fieldsofbutterflies your facts are wrong. They all agreed to replace the fence (implied consent to remove the old broken fence). The dispute is whether the replacement will be like for like and whether neighbour's dissatisfaction is reasonable. Talk of criminal damage blah blah blah is utter bollocks. The police are not interested in fencing disputes. Never have been. Not even before austerity (when they were still capable of solving actual crimes).

fieldsofbutterflies · 03/05/2024 09:13

SpryCat · 03/05/2024 09:10

Don’t replace the panels, if they hate it so much let them pay, their fence was practically falling down and you saved them money by paying yourself. I bet they don’t feel that strongly about it

Edited

Buying someone something they don't like and didn't ask for isn't doing them a favour or saving them money.

OP should have put up her own fence on her own property and left the neighbours one alone.

frankentall · 03/05/2024 09:12

SoupDragon · 03/05/2024 09:04

You can get panels that look the same on both sides. I have them.

Struggling to see which is the "bad" side based on the picture?

Also people saying a change from horizontal to veritcal is a massive deal because it won't match the rest of the neighbours fucked up fences - do people really have so little in their sad lives that they think like this about a fucking garden fence? If I was your neighbour OP I'd be delighted you'd saved me a job.

SpryCat · 03/05/2024 09:10

Don’t replace the panels, if they hate it so much let them pay, their fence was practically falling down and you saved them money by paying yourself. I bet they don’t feel that strongly about it

frankentall · 03/05/2024 09:09

Hustleonwards · 03/05/2024 08:54

Removing a neighbour fence without permission is classed as criminal damage. It isn’t clear here if the OP said that this work might be happening in the summer and hadn’t expressly notified the neighbour or if they had specifically been told. But either way we can safely say that permission was conditional on a like for like swap. I’d be treading very carefully on this one OP.

😂😂

fieldsofbutterflies · 03/05/2024 09:08

Sillyjane · 03/05/2024 09:04

So, they can put up their own.

They can - and then they can send OP the bill for destroying their fence and refusing to replace it.

SoupDragon · 03/05/2024 09:05

As a aside, the concrete posts are excellent - I had to replace 3 panels recently and it was so easy to just slide the new ones in.

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