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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Its a fence one .

259 replies

pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:00

We are having our garden landscaped the fence between our neighbours and ours was falling apart so even though it is actually neighbours fence we let them know that we are willing to replace . They said fine but can we make sure its like for like we said yes no problem.

I admit i didn't specify to our landscaper the fence had to be exactly the same i just said same height and we have chosen to replace the wooden post with concrete.
This hasnt come cheap . Upshot is the neighbours have gone mad about the new fence and demanded they at least get the better side of the fence which we have agreed to but im now feeling abit hard done by as yes ok its not exactly the same fence panel but it is a. stronger panel with concrete foundations .

OP posts:
Northernladdette · 07/05/2024 19:29

LannieDuck · 07/05/2024 18:29

YABU

"They said fine but can we make sure its like for like we said yes no problem."

They’ve actually given them a better fence than the original one 😩

m0llyr0se · 07/05/2024 19:29

Scousefab · 03/05/2024 08:04

If you’re paying you usually get the nicer side. Think it’s pretty ungrateful of them for be honest and think they are being cheeky!

The 'rule' is that on a boundary that is yours you get the 'good side' so they are well within their rights to expect the 'good side'

Annielou67 · 07/05/2024 19:17

Hi OP. I’m afraid legally you are in trouble here. It doesn’t really matter what your neighbours reasoning is, but you have built something they don’t like and it is now their say as to what happens. You can have put up the best safest fence in the world but they can get it taken down and you can’t do anything about it.
Imo you need to limit the damage, apologise with a present and ask what they want you to do. Then do it.

mydamnfootstuckinthedoor · 07/05/2024 19:06

I agree with them. concrete posts are ghastly. they didn't want them, so they shouldn't have them.

Icantpossibly · 07/05/2024 18:55

Giving the neighbours who don’t own the fence the ‘good’ side isn’t a courtesy or favour to them.
It’s done for security, so that it can’t be climbed and because the posts and horizontal supports need to be in the owners garden. If the neighbour has the ‘bad’ side the fence posts still need to be in your garden, so you lose 4” or so of your garden.

Nanny0gg · 07/05/2024 18:54

So by a lot of posters logic on here, if the neighbours had planted a hedge between and the OP didn't like it, she'd have been perfectly entitled to dig it up and replace with a fence? Or whatever she preferred?

Nanny0gg · 07/05/2024 18:53

Dibbydoos · 07/05/2024 12:39

Sorry your neighbours are CFs and entitled.

Do not give them the 'nice side' or if you have give them the bill and ask for a significant contribution.

They didn't ask for the fence to be changed so if the OP tried that one, they'd be entitled to tell her to do one.

Nanny0gg · 07/05/2024 18:51

Sillyjane · 03/05/2024 08:47

Meh, I’d tell them to put their own fence up the other side and to do one. I’d not give them the nice side, twatty entitled folks.

Um. The new fence would have to be moved first

Nanny0gg · 07/05/2024 18:50

pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:37

because they are still getting a brand new fence .

THAT THEY DIDN'T WANT OR ASK FOR!!

It wasn't up to you to change it.

Nanny0gg · 07/05/2024 18:49

pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:36

We didnt ask permission we let them know we are putting a new fence in .

Is this your first house and garden?

You'll know better next time.

Nanny0gg · 07/05/2024 18:47

pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:16

It's very telling you didn't respond to the part asking about how different it is...

It's vertical slats not horizontal

I'd be pissed off too.

Nanny0gg · 07/05/2024 18:47

Scousefab · 03/05/2024 08:04

If you’re paying you usually get the nicer side. Think it’s pretty ungrateful of them for be honest and think they are being cheeky!

If they had the same style of fence all round (however tatty) and now they haven't I can see why they're annoyed actually

Taurusenergy · 07/05/2024 18:40

Some people can be really funny about fencing , had similar but ours are elderly.

I think it's really cheeky to ask to have the best side as youre paying for it plus it was shabby as you said Just be careful they don't dictate too much about what you do.

LannieDuck · 07/05/2024 18:29

YABU

"They said fine but can we make sure its like for like we said yes no problem."

toobusymummy · 07/05/2024 18:26

Okay, can I please have you for my neighbour? if I'd had a free replacement to the one you've photographed I'd be delighted 'good side or bad'!!! That said, some people just love finding fault and clearly they have so let them have the good side, I prefer the other side anyway as its easier to train climbers up ;-)

diddl · 07/05/2024 18:12

Yes we'll do like for like apart from the posts & the panels.😂😂😂😂😂😂

LinaM20 · 07/05/2024 16:11

When we were getting our fence replaced in this style, we were told to have the “bad side” inside our garden as there are ridges that can be used to climb on to access your property. If you have the “good side” facing out, it’s completely smooth and harder to climb.

MumblesParty · 07/05/2024 13:38

pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:37

because they are still getting a brand new fence .

@pavillion1 If I painted your living room walls a colour you didn't like, would you be happy anyway, because you had freshly painted walls?

missshilling · 07/05/2024 13:18

PoppyCherryDog · 07/05/2024 13:13

This is what I thought too. We are in new builds and everyone has the “horrible” side of the fence they own.

We have always put the smooth side facing out too. I must admit that until I came on MN I thought that was the norm.

PoppyCherryDog · 07/05/2024 13:13

pinkpinkeverywhere · 03/05/2024 08:04

If the fence is strictly theirs I’m sure you should get the good side. I’m sure the owners always gets the bad side, so in your case I’d definitely want the good side as you are also paying for it! Don’t let them get a free fence and the good side. I’d have asked to go halves too.

This is what I thought too. We are in new builds and everyone has the “horrible” side of the fence they own.

Dibbydoos · 07/05/2024 12:39

Sorry your neighbours are CFs and entitled.

Do not give them the 'nice side' or if you have give them the bill and ask for a significant contribution.

MILLYmo0se · 07/05/2024 12:14

Going by the photo were the 'fixings' on your side and the smooth side facing the neighbours and the new fence is going up the other way round? It's not entirely clear in photo though

Ghyur · 07/05/2024 10:52

Oh for goodness sake. Replacing "like for like" still would not have appeased them as the new panels would have made the other side 2 sides look crappy anyway. Some people just don't like change or progress! They've got a brand new much more improved fence for free! And this drivel of good side/ bad side is just guff, its a bloody fence, if thats all you have to worry about lucky you! Enjoy your new fence, don't appease them! If they hate it they can put different panels up their side. If they bothered to look after it it wouldnt be an issue!

Northernladdette · 07/05/2024 09:58

No way would I change the panels to appease them….

Northernladdette · 07/05/2024 09:57

Just seen the photos, it’s a lovely fence. If they’ve been awful since you moved in then nothing has changed, right? They sound delightful 🙄