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AIBU?

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Original poster

Its a fence one .

259 replies

pavillion1 · 03/05/2024 08:00

We are having our garden landscaped the fence between our neighbours and ours was falling apart so even though it is actually neighbours fence we let them know that we are willing to replace . They said fine but can we make sure its like for like we said yes no problem.

I admit i didn't specify to our landscaper the fence had to be exactly the same i just said same height and we have chosen to replace the wooden post with concrete.
This hasnt come cheap . Upshot is the neighbours have gone mad about the new fence and demanded they at least get the better side of the fence which we have agreed to but im now feeling abit hard done by as yes ok its not exactly the same fence panel but it is a. stronger panel with concrete foundations .

OP posts:
Northernladdette · 09/05/2024 11:49

MILLYmo0se · 09/05/2024 06:54

So the neighbours did have the nice non fixings side of their own fence facing their garden then? And in replacing it you didn't do it that way

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There is no ‘non fixing side’ on that style of panel they are the same both sides apart from you have one vertical baton support on one side and two on the other. The side with two batons would be considered the inferior side 🙂

Original poster
pavillion1 · 09/05/2024 11:24

Well if that had happened we would of had to but it wouldnt be something we would want to do .

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 09/05/2024 10:18

pavillion1 · 09/05/2024 09:51

Its not something we would of done

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Then what would you have done if they'd said No?

Nanny0gg · 09/05/2024 10:17

pavillion1 · 09/05/2024 08:49

we wont be drilling a hegdehog hole .

That would piss me off even more!

Nanny0gg · 09/05/2024 10:16

pavillion1 · 09/05/2024 07:21

i would say that would be being VERY PETTY

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Not really. It's what you'd have had to do if they'd told you to leave their fence alone in the first place.

GasPanic · 09/05/2024 09:52

GreenTreeFlower · 09/05/2024 09:42

Don't be daft. The old fence is on its last legs, the whole thing looks rotten. I'm guessing the wobbly mess is from rotten posts. I have a lot of experience of rotten posts. Unfortunately 😭😭

The OP has done a totally normal and sensible thing. She asked her neighbors and didn't think to specify exactly what she needed to her fencers. 99% of neighbours would still be delighted but unfortunately her neighbour is a difficult arse. This is the neighbour being a dick not the OP.

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IME it is hard to tell whether posts are rotten, especially from photos like that.

You can only really tell by actually going up to them and trying to move them. Even then they might not move and it is only when you dig down you can find they are rotten - they otherwise look ok.

I replaced several old (and rotten ones) two years ago on my fence. This winter another one went, but there was no clear sign that it was going to go two years ago, otherwise I would have replaced it then.

The rotten posts do tend to have a bit more give in them when you try to move them backwards and forwards, but not much more than that. Until they suddenly snap !

So the ones in the photos could be rotten. Or just in need of a good coat of paint.

Original poster
pavillion1 · 09/05/2024 09:51

fieldsofbutterflies · 09/05/2024 09:02

@pavillion1 what's petty about building a fence on your own property? Confused

Its not something we would of done

OP posts:
GreenTreeFlower · 09/05/2024 09:42

fieldsofbutterflies · 09/05/2024 07:13

I mean the old fence isn't perfect but it's not the horrendous mess you're making it out to be.

I still don't understand why you didn't just build your own or why you think that would be petty behaviour.

Don't be daft. The old fence is on its last legs, the whole thing looks rotten. I'm guessing the wobbly mess is from rotten posts. I have a lot of experience of rotten posts. Unfortunately 😭😭

The OP has done a totally normal and sensible thing. She asked her neighbors and didn't think to specify exactly what she needed to her fencers. 99% of neighbours would still be delighted but unfortunately her neighbour is a difficult arse. This is the neighbour being a dick not the OP.

fieldsofbutterflies · 09/05/2024 09:02

@pavillion1 what's petty about building a fence on your own property? Confused

Original poster
pavillion1 · 09/05/2024 08:49

we wont be drilling a hegdehog hole .

OP posts:
anon666 · 09/05/2024 08:40

Having seen the picture, you've done them a favour. The new fence looks nicer IMO, I
it would be hard not to, since the old fence was minging.

They are probably just absorbing the change, even changes for the better take some time to sink in.

VenusClapTrap · 09/05/2024 08:19

The concrete is ugly. I’d be really pissed off if I’d agreed like for like and that had appeared instead. I’d be even more pissed off if I was expected to be grateful.

As a pp said, you need a hedgehog hole drilling through the base too.

Northernladdette · 09/05/2024 07:41

godmum56 · 08/05/2024 21:55

but that is your opinion.....the fence owners specified like for like. your opinion is not relevant

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The OP has asked for opinions?

Original poster
pavillion1 · 09/05/2024 07:21

fieldsofbutterflies · 09/05/2024 07:13

I mean the old fence isn't perfect but it's not the horrendous mess you're making it out to be.

I still don't understand why you didn't just build your own or why you think that would be petty behaviour.

i would say that would be being VERY PETTY

OP posts:
fieldsofbutterflies · 09/05/2024 07:13

I mean the old fence isn't perfect but it's not the horrendous mess you're making it out to be.

I still don't understand why you didn't just build your own or why you think that would be petty behaviour.

Original poster
pavillion1 · 09/05/2024 07:00

sorry i dont know what you mean

OP posts:
MILLYmo0se · 09/05/2024 06:54

pavillion1 · 08/05/2024 22:21

I wouldnt say the old fence wasnt in need of maintenance. it definitely was old and shabby

So the neighbours did have the nice non fixings side of their own fence facing their garden then? And in replacing it you didn't do it that way

GreenTreeFlower · 08/05/2024 23:17

That fence looked like it was going to fall down. Not just shabby but rotten

Original poster
pavillion1 · 08/05/2024 22:21

I wouldnt say the old fence wasnt in need of maintenance. it definitely was old and shabby

Its a fence one .
OP posts:
godmum56 · 08/05/2024 21:55

Northernladdette · 08/05/2024 21:28

No, it’s better 💯

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but that is your opinion.....the fence owners specified like for like. your opinion is not relevant

AGlinnerOfHope · 08/05/2024 21:52

LumiB · 08/05/2024 21:26

Agree with what u said.

Neighbours can always paint the concrete posts and boards. I've painted mine and it's been fine

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I don’t think you read the post you ‘agree with’ properly.

Anyway, re painting, someone on my road has done that and it looks awful a few years later. Peeling badly. It needs stripping and redoing but that’s a big job. Once you start you’re trapped in a maintenance cycle.

The fence that was taken out didn’t need maintenance. The OP assumed it was old shabby and insubstantial and that her choice was better. The neighbour doesn’t agree.

I understand OP’s mistake- I think she’ll look back on this in a few years and understand better. I’m amazed so many on this thread don’t appreciate the neighbour’s point though.

Flozle · 08/05/2024 21:36

It's a much nicer fence OP. Not clear from the picture, but could the panel just be reoriented by 90 degrees, which giving them their horizontal slats?

Northernladdette · 08/05/2024 21:28

godmum56 · 08/05/2024 21:12

and they gave permission on condition that is was a like for like replacement which this is not.

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No, it’s better 💯

LumiB · 08/05/2024 21:26

Blondebrunette1 · 08/05/2024 12:40

They're not being difficult though, they've not demanded it be changed they've just said they aren't happy it's not the fence they agreed to however as it's done now they would like the nice side facing them, this is a fair ask given the fence they had didn't show the supporting beams on their side and they weren't up for a replacement they agreed because the op wanted to do it. I personally wouldn't ask for the nice side, I'd get someone to fit my own the otherside but I can afford to and would spend on my garden, if they can't and wouldn't why should they have to?! I don't think op is malicious or completely outrageous feeling a bit rubbish about having the cr*ppy side but you can't say it's not fair or they're being ungrateful.

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Agree with what u said.

Neighbours can always paint the concrete posts and boards. I've painted mine and it's been fine

godmum56 · 08/05/2024 21:12

Northernladdette · 08/05/2024 11:41

Permission was sought to remove the fence (destroy is a strong word), the neighbours should give their heads a wobble, they’ve been gifted a brand new, decent looking fence for free. Personally I don’t think they have a right to be so pedantic 🙄

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and they gave permission on condition that is was a like for like replacement which this is not.