What is the obsession with 2 under 2?

I had two under 1 when the youngest was born (about 10 1/2 months between them - slightly shortened gap because I don't carry pregnancies to term apparently - should have been just a year).

Took 6 years to conceive DD1 so we just decided to leave it to chance regarding any number 2... and that phrase about waiting ages for a bus comes to mind.

If they'd been born at a different time in the year they could have been in the same school year, and they were in the same school class (mixed year group) one year - but they are incredibly close, there's a lot of overlap with friends groups and they still bicker like buggery and are very different individuals. As they get older they tend to hang about together a lot more I'm finding.

Childcare wasn't a cost as I stopped working when DD1 was born, but it did mean I could get back into training and career change sooner and not have to break that career trajectory again for a second child.

Currently preg with my 2nd and my DS will be 2 when new one arrives

super stressed about it.

but grateful.

didn’t want to wait much longer because of my age not the concept of 2 under 2. Was much more about me being an older mom than anything else.

I would have thought people were having bigger age gaps to avoid two concurrent sets of nursery fees, which costs way more than most people's salaries

I also think the gap is going to look different for everyone as it’s so dependent on individual children’s personalities - one family with a 3 year gap is going to have a totally different dynamic to another!

Lots of kids in DD1s class at nursery now (almost 3) have siblings roughly the same age as DD2 (6 months) - we had 2 year 4 month age gap and I was about to say it’s really not that bad and clearly quite common - but as I typed it, DD1 tried to pick DD2 up and put her in her dolls pram 🤦🏼‍♀️😂 I am a bit frazzled but thought that was just parenthood tbh (although I am back to work FT which probably doesn’t help!). There’s 8 years between me and my siblings and I love them but we’re not close in the way they’re close with each other.

Something being hard doesn’t mean it isn’t enjoyable. And sometimes hard things reap great rewards in the future. There’s a two year seven month age gap between mine - I’ve no dog in the race but having an under 2 is very intense and I can sort of understand accepting three very hard years in return for easier ones in the future (hopefully.)

I don’t get it either. Ds is 4 years and I wouldn’t have wanted another child yet. He will likely remain an only, but a larger gap if we ever have another. I can’t see how I would enjoy have two at a close age both needing help with everything from toilet to feeding, carrying, entertainment

ive heard people say that it’s to get the baby and toddler years over and done with asap…and I just think if something is that hard you want it over and done with asap why bother in the first place!

Honestly I don’t get it!

can anyone explain? Thank you!

10 years between mine and I can see the advantages of two so close together but there are also advantages to big gaps.

I’ve just remembered about the 2 girls in my sixth form who were sisters and so close in age that they were in the same school year. Both lovely and very different - one tall, one short; one blonde, one brunette; one sciency, one artsy

I have an 18 month gap and didnt think it was anything unusual, i had one baby, decided to have another and was lucky enough to not have secondary infertility.

They are either bff or tearing each other's hair out but i would reccomend the gap.

Obviously uni will be a ££ few years but im lucky enough for that not to be too much of an issue. I will have gcse/a levels one year so may regret it then haha

I only know one person with two under two and even she thought she was insane doing it. So it's not the norm/ideal everywhere. A 2.5-3 year gap seems to be the norm around here, to avoid paying double nursery fees for too long.

Personally, I think a larger age gap (3 or 4 years) is better. Its helpful if the first is in pre-school when the second child arrives. When our second was napping, it gave me a chance to get on with stuff and I knew my eldest was having a great time at nursery in the mornings (less guilt). When I picked him up, we’d be out in the afternoons for walks, the park etc with our newborn having a second nap in the buggy. It just felt like a nice routine. 2 under 2 would have felt very stressful and I dont think there’s many parents that wouldn’t say it was ridiculously full on.

We have a 3 year 7 month age gap. Oldest was at pre-school, out of nappies day and night, no dummies and could be relied upon to listen and not run off etc.

I could never have intentionally done 2 under 2. It just wasn't for me.

DD1 absolutely adores DD2 and vice versa. I do think nearer 3 years might have been better for them to be interested in similar things and if I had my time over probably would have started TTC #2 about 5/6 months before we did but I had just changed jobs so had to wait.

Like a previous poster said I was also older so wouldn't have left it any longer than I did x

I have 3 under 4, but I really don't believe there is an obsession with 2 under 2.

Everyone just chooses the setup that best fits their personal circumstances.

I tried to link but it wouldn't work here is a screen shot

just over 12 months between mine, loved it, wouldn't change it, they are v close, all good. Do what works for you

Sibling closeness completely depends on personalities and how much family members value spending time/effort on each other. My mum had me when she was 17. I'm 28, I have a 14 year old sister and we have always been very close, she even co slept with me as a toddler! There is a 6 year gap between me and another sister and we barely see each other. I am closest to my sister who is 18 months apart however this was not the case until we were about 15. As children we really didn't like each other and hardly ever got along! Our second baby is due when the first is 4.5 and we did it that way for the sake of our relationship/mental health/hobbies and work.

There is only 1 year and 3 weeks between me and my sister and the small age gap is brilliant!

I wanted to have two with a small age gap but it didn’t work out as I’d hoped and sadly there’s actually a 3.5 year age gap.

I’m very lucky that they adore each other now but I’m very aware that as they both get older the age gap will seem to widen and widen to the point they’re at separate times of their lives and I imagine some distance between them will start to emerge.

I know that every sibling set is better but generally speaking, I do think small age gap are better for the children.

Being on maternity leave during the nursery years saves money.

Given that having children in general is so expensive now, I presume those having multiple close together are in the wealthier bracket and therefore not worried about uni costs.

Surely better financially not to have 2 in childcare at same time though.
Also 2nd point false, had my first at 35 and second at 40 so 5 year age gap. This was not voluntary though just took a long time to conceive both. Has worked for us though as meant I've been able to spend good quality time with both.

Oh god, no thanks! I'd never have slept!

I wanted a four year gap, and ended up with a four year old and twins.

In my circle two under two is unusual because most women work and childcare costs are exorbitant - so people are more likely to aim for a 3 year gap, when the 15/30 hours kick in. Perhaps that will shift a bit with the new provision.

Those with the small gaps - are you worried about supporting them through university at the same time?

we couldn’t afford two in nursery together and in retrospect now glad as we will now only have a max of one in uni at any one time.

We had 3 in 3.5 years purposefully. Mainly due to my siblings being close in age to me and how great that was/is. I want them to be able to go through life together at similar stages, to be at school together etc, to not be too far apart developmentally that they dont play together well. So far so good.

In retrospect now they are a bit older (3,4,6) the thing I enjoyed most about having small age gaps was the amount of time I spent on maternity leave meant I got extra time with my elder children too when they were toddlers/pre school age which was priceless.