To never leave the house ever again

At the weekend, leave the kids with their dad and do a leisurely two hour food shop, with a coffee break.

Shopping gets done, kids get some one-on-one time with dad, everyone wins 😊

That’s fair enough and they can have an opinion but they should keep it to themselves

Perhaps because 'gentle' parenting wasn't a thing in their day
And they were not afraid to tell their child off, rather than trying to reason with them

Can’t be doing with busy bodies! Fortunately for me I don’t give a shit what people think.
I must get it from my mum. She was out with DSis and DN. DN is ASD (we didn’t know at the time)and had an almighty meltdown in a shop when she was about 3. Lying on the floor, arms and legs going and screaming. A woman said to DM that child needs a slap!! DM replied would you like a slap?
Obviously we now know it was total sensory overload for DN. she’s 16 now and still won’t go in a supermarket

Ive been through this i remember them days very well.
Pleased its all over now.
I dont judge anyone when i see it happen i always think ouch been there and shes doing the best she can.
Take no notice of what others think some have forgotten what its like.

Yes been there too. When my DD was 3 she had a full on meltdown in Waitrose. I couldn't get her back in the buggy and she was screaming so loudly. Next thing I know a man comes up to me (couldn't see who it was as I was bending over). I thought no I don't need your help then looked up and it was my DH! He had gone into the supermarket and heard this awful sound - thinking what a nightmare child then turned the corner and saw us!!!

He then whisked our child home and left me to it.

When I look back there weren't that many outbursts and before you know it they're at nursery then school and you can shop in peace!

I always feel huge sympathy for anyone struggling with toddlers and always want to offer to help whether its pushing the trolley or distracting the child but am terrified of getting a mouthful of abuse or making matters worse if I offer!!

“If you’re so effing perfect, why aren’t you offering to help? Arsehole!” Is the correct response in this case…

I bet it was an older lady as well? Notice it’s always older people, particularly women, who make these comments. Why is that?

Nice bit of ageism there. I’m 63 and would never make a nasty comment to an anyone wrangling a tantruming child. None of my friends, who are in the main, older than me would either. Most of us probably wouldn’t notice anyhow, as we wouldn’t hear anyone else’s kid, above the racket of our tantruming grandchildren.

I wish there were food deliveries when my DC were young, it would have been less stressful and cheaper, as I seemed to spend half the time in the toy aisle.

I hear you OP. They judgement i get when out with my disabled son and toddler is noticeable. I get my food shop delivered and it's a life saver.

What I will say is when I see another mother struggling I feel nothing but compassion and I worry if she spots me looking she is feeling judged. I think lots of times people are not judging like we fear. Although obviously this cowbag was judging as she spoke to you but i bet you had more sympathetic looks and thoughts that you missed because you were dealing with such a challenging task xx

I'm another one who just stopped going to the super market. Tesco do an online delivery subscription for something like £6.99 a month for unlimited deliveries. If we ran out of bread or milk I'd wait for dp to get home and one of us would pop out then.

With play groups etc, I used to take them straight home if they did anything like that. It seemed to do the trick, we only had to leave early once or twice. Its true what everyone says, it gets easier.

Just suck up the delivery charge and get the supermarket shopping delivered, or if you have a DP get them to do it on the way home from work, or go after the kids are in bed whilst he stays at home with them, and save yourself this pain. Doing a weekly grocery shop with 2 under 2 in tow, big no thank you, and it'll only get worse over the next couple of years when you add demands for items and potty training into the mix.

Maybe you need to be a bit firmer.

Toddler age is horrible, my youngest is 6 and SEND and frequently still does this. The last interfering dick nearly got punched after getting in her face and telling her the staff were going to make her leave uf she didn't stop screaming. She was in full meltdown and it made her worse.
Unfortunately some toddlers do hit and push, only advice I have is don't bother explaining kind hands or why it's unkind as a 2 year old simply isn't able to listen or comprehend it, just simple 1 or 2 word phases like 'stop' said firmly. I work with SEND kids (my darlings at work are mostly like big toddlers) and used to be a nursery nurse and that is the best way to get through. Apologies if thsts what you are doing already, often toddlers are just shits at times. Xxx

I remember when DD was about that age. I tried to take her food shopping. She didn’t want to sit in the trolley, she didn’t want to walk. She wanted me to carry her but I couldn’t do that and push the trolley. She was very strong from a young age and I physically couldn’t get her in the trolley. So she lay on the floor until she had calmed down. Fortunately people were nice! Now if I see someone in a similar position I’ll say ‘Mine was just like that! It does get easier’. However, I do recommend getting your food shopping done online. I’ve tried going back to Lidl/Aldi and it’s no cheaper. The cost of online is worth it for peace of mind. You can do your list on the sofa and get it delivered either when they are napping or in bed in the evening.
On the plus side, I bet nosey lady was embarrassed she made you cry and I bet she’ll think twice about criticising a stranger again!

Mine are 17, 13, 8 and 6 so it wasn't that long ago I was going through that with the youngest two. It's exhausting. You have my sympathy OP. It will get easier.

My Dd was awful. Full on tantrums in supermarkets. I used to ignore her and when other adults interfered trying to be ' helpful' I would say 'she's just upset she can't get her own way' please leave her, smile and carry on. It is horrible though op. I feel your pain. It will pass though 🍷

There's few parents around who haven't walked the aisles of a supermarket with a screaming child OP. However, I do wonder whether the problem came from her being woken up and then put in a pushchair/trolley in a busy and bright place. I'm not sure I'd love my nap ending in Tesco's to be honest! I think I would have sat in the car and just waited until they woke up before going in.
I would also be more concerned about the hitting etc etc. I would agree with PP about asking nursery about behavioural concerns they might have.

Mine just add, stop hurting me ow please stop! If you tried to touch him at alll mid tantrum.

Joyful days

Anytime I’ve seen a kid having a meltdown I just feel for their parents. I wouldn’t be judging you or your little tyrant. Mine’s 4 and still has the occasional hissy fit in public, painful. It’s not just you, happens to everyone. That woman was being an utter dick.

Plenty of times I’ve come home absolutely distraught at the shitshow that was my day and bawled to Dh I’m a shit mum. I only realised after another mum came to toddler group with a cut on her head because her kid had launched a toy at her head during a tantrum that it wasn’t just me. Then a bunch of us sat there and shared stories of “the time I had to carry my darling child out of x kicking and screaming” made me feel a lot better.

Where possible I just did an on-line shop.

Yep this!

Follow it up with you sanctimonious arsewipe!

No-one can reason with a 2 yo having a tantrum. Jeez, the cild is barely able to hear or comprehend anything external during this time as they are so focused on their needs, let alone comprehend the logic of not screaming in public.
Offering treats, correct and redirect (it's 2, fgs!), pram snacks..are all rewards for bad behaviour. Storingctrouble, not dealing with bad behaviour

My youngest used to plaintively shout 'HELP! HELP!' at passersby when I took him shopping.