To never leave the house ever again

One of mine was like that. totally Sensory overload when she went to the shops. It was the music, the artificial lighting, the noise, all of it, she just couldnt cope.
TBH Dh is like that, he used to faint in the shops as a kid and even now breaks out in a sweat if hes in there too long. We do online shopping for years now, and I rarely if ever brought her to any shops, she jsut couldnt cope. I had to time it perfectly in the day and get in and out fast if i did have to go.
She still hates shops and shes 20 now.
She was tested for the spectrum and was told she has sensory issues, which tbh we knew. Labels on clothes are a no no, she hated having her hair washed, she didnt like having a bath, she had to stand in the bath lol.
Any thing like that with your little one?

Massive hugs. I had 3 under 5 and supermarkets were the work of the devil. I never forgot the kindness of strangers who helped or the horrible stares of people who didn't.

We ended up only at one toddler group where they didn't make me feel horrendous. Another parent would always swoop in with a hug or a biscuit at this group or help with the screaming child.

That lady was a cow. Instead of passing judgement she should've stepped in to help if she could. So ignore her she isn't worth the mental capacity she's taking up. Shopping with kids IS stressful so try to do it when they're with maybe another caregiver or statt online shopping because 2&1 yr old shopping isn't for the faint hearted

Some people are idiots.

My DS was screaming once and a women said to me 'good luck with that one'
I gave her the hackiest look and walked away.
Then cried outside.

It's fucking stressful it really is. I ended up not taking him for a long time. Now, he loves coming food shopping.

Oh God.

If that is really true about 3 toddlers.

You do not want to be outnumbered if something kicks off. You can't run more than one direction at once. I saw a couple with triplets on reins in the park once. DH and I stood there, transfixed at their resilience! And hoping no-one got tangled!

I remember taking my two to the shops with my mother. They were fine my son a bit energetic but when we left my mother said 'you (kids) never behaved like that when I took you shopping'!!! I said 'obviously you have rose tinted specs on'.
People who make comments are ridiculous. My baby was crying on the bus and someone said 'oh he's hungry'. I said no, he's been fed, he's just cranky. You should have just told that woman 'don't you think I've tried everything? Do you think I'm enjoying having her scream like this'? Like people on planes tut tutting- no one wants the baby to shut up more than the parents!
If I had seen you I'd have given you a sympathetic look and said 'been there, you're doing your best'.

I’m more concerned about your toddlers impeccable behaviour and how you’re enforcing that 😂

Agree with this.

For the one person making a judgemental comment, please remember there are hundreds of others who feel nothing but sympathy for you and understand completely that 2 year olds are difficult!

Many of us have been there and we’re not judging you at all 😊

This sounds so stressful. Online shopping or click and collect is the way forward. Its only 50p or £1 at asda I think

Oh god, OP. You get all the hugs here. I still die a little when I remember my two year old DS throwing the mother of all tantrums in the sandpit of a playground. This was in California so, I got a good dose of cringe, American style, when the parents stood around clapping, saying, "Way to go, mom! Good job!" because, after an eternity of sitting there, frozen, watching my child turn a shriek-rage-tantrum induced shade of purple, he stopped. Tantrum over. He survived. I survived, just about. I had a pulse. And I remember wanting to dig up wads of moist sand from the deeper realms of the pit and just chuck them at the condescending crew cheering me on (it felt like mockery... it wasn't, but it felt like it).

Nowadays I look back and think, what a bunch of nice folks. I'm originally from California and having raised all of my children in the UK, I do miss that kindness. There are no cheering squads in this land! I swiftly got used to the British Glare of Shame when my children melted down in public. I also got used to saying 'fuck off' when necessary (the great in Great Britain is the sweariness that gets you through the rough patches). Nothing like a good ol' fuck off to see you through (said to judgy adults, obviously, not my own children... although it is perfectly ok to think it sometimes with your kids, especially when you've been pelted endlessly with cold spaghetti followed by a Toddler Shriek chaser).

I'm still here. I lived. My King of Tantrums is now 22 years old.

You'll catch your breath. You'll be ok and above all, you'll survive, OP.
Big ol' syrupy hugs of support.

I've been there many times and will always try to give a smile in support or make a light joke to mum about 'how we've all been there'

I was once in the supermarket when no1 started kicking off

I asked my mother to keep an eye on no2 while I took her outside

It ended with no1 over my shoulder,screaming 'help!help!this is not my mummy!I'm being kidnapped!'

Thank god we look so alike and the staff knew us as we'd been shopping at that tesco for years

I felt exactly the same-they do grow out of it

No1 is 27 now and we laugh about it (me through gritted teeth-i still feel funny when it comes up)

My DS used to go completely insane after his nap, wailing for a good hour. I had to accept that we did errands/outings in the morning, as trying to do anything after his sleep meant people thought I had abducted him.

I can add little. I went back to work when both my kids were 6months old and every possible thing that could be delivered to the house was. Total avoidance technique.
Going to the supermarket or corner shop was such a novelty for them I don't recall any meltdowns there at any rate. Plenty elsewhere, thankfully the park for the most part so the ignore, stand around and look bored technique does pay off eventually. But the stress levels of two kids going in separate directions was nuts. I had to resort to reins with my older daughter when we had the phase of running off and then hiding. I lost my mind with worry in a busy London playground with multiple exits.

It is bloody hard at that age though. Assuming that delivery isn't an option, where is your partner? Getting out to do anything solo was such a treat when they were little. I used to book a run to the tip for the ultimate feeling of freedom 😂

I did step in once in a supermarket. Man doing the shopping with his toddler, parked up next to the shelves perusing a list and oblivious to the toddler about to clear a shelf of baby food jars. He was a bit shocked when I moved the trolley so suddenly but thankfully twigged as the child's fingers missed by a hairs breath.

Remember, wherever you go there's some lentil weaving perfect parent judging you who is one conception away from walking in your shoes 😉

You just encountered a particularly judgy person op, I wouldn’t give them a second thought. Most people remember what it’s like to be in the thick of it. I don’t even think it’s anything to do with age either - my Nan will try to engage a stroppy toddler to help out and chat with the parent about those days (she had 3 girls under 4).
Let’s be honest, if we see a child having a tantrum, most of us are in sympathy with the parent or thanking our lucky stars it’s not our turn to wrangle the screaming ball of anger today. It will get easier op. Until then, online shopping and make things as easy as possible for yourself. But don’t hide away with the eldest, she’ll need the socialisation to learn sharing, being kind etc. Maybe see if someone can watch the little one so you can be 1-1 with the oldest.

This happened to me with my eldest. I dreaded going out. One day in the supermarket he lay on the floor and screamed. I was exhausted and just stood there. A woman muttered “ smack him” another said “ pick him up” I never smacked my children and picking him up was not an option kicking and screaming. An elder lady came, asked me what was the matter said she had nine children. I explained he wanted an iced bun and I had said no, I said if I got him one then it would start again for something else. She kneeled down and said “ Get up you are behaving like a naughty boy. Your poor mummy needs help shopping “ he stood up and never did it again. I was lucky this lady appeared and it worked, quite easily it could have made it worse. The point is, for every person who seems to judge there are many of us who have been their ourselves and have empathy if not a solution for you. It is a horrible stage but does pass. Mine was no bother as a teenager and is a lovely kind man. Hold on in, let anyone who offers help you. You will get through it. And a nice cup of tea when they have finally gone to sleep is the nicest thing ever. Good luck!

Another vote for online shopping! I wish it had been a thing when mine were little.

However I'd probably do my main shop online but pop into the shop when they are in a good mood when I'm not rushing or under pressure. I'd then give the toddler a picture list and get them to treasure hunt the items on it for the basket. Quick visit and a reward at the end if they've stayed happy and engaged. Hopefully that might help break the tantrum cycle when they realise they can help, have attention and get a treat.

Mine didn't really have tantrums but my eldest would resist being put in a trolley seat and then find it funny to run up the Isle and hide. My daughter would sulk if I wouldn't get the the toy/sweet she wanted and refuse to move. I had to tuck her under my arm and leave the shop on more than one occasion.

Oh yes I loved the supermarket creche and so did my kids. Ours was Safeway and they once saved me when I was absolutely at the end of my tether, I went to book them in and said, "Don't say you're full, just don't say it." When I went back 90 minutes later after a wander round the shop and a coffee and cake in the cafe they looked a bit worried about handing them back to me but I did convince them the red mist had gone.

Aren't you lucky, although I'm sure they will test you at some point so maybe the OP is better off getting it out of the way now.

@StarsBeneathMyFeet is right. I think all of us who haven't got this problem should go out of our way to be helpful. I saw a little one like this in the supermarket last week, he did a sit down protest in the middle of a busy aisle and mum walked off, maybe thinking he'd follow or maybe to just get a bit of distance. I squeezed past him and said, "Hello are you having a nice rest." He folded his arms and glowered at me and I laughed, looked down the aisle at his mum and smiled and she smiled back. Got level with her and said, "He's beautiful." She agreed but said he was difficult and I said not to worry that's how they are at that age. We separated still smiling and I hope a friendly word made her feel just a little bit better.

If we all just smiled and said something friendly I think it would help mums like the OP so much.

I’ve been there, I think most parents have! I’ve also had the strangers (always women!) giving their opinion which they should know better than to give! I once had a woman come up and say ‘it won’t last forever’ which was a truly kind thing to say and I’ll never forget it. It’s true though, you’re doing your best, ignore the twats x

Well lucky you that your children are so well behaved! I’ve only got one and no way she’d do this . Don’t be another sanctimonious prick

Online food shops! My 2 yr old loves a supermarket visit for about 5 mins then gets very disruptive, no way I’d try to do a whole shop. It’s not you, it’s just a phase. Does she go to nursery?

I would be concerned tbh as to why this reaction. I take our 3 toddlers under 3 out shopping etc and have no problems like this and I don't use a pram they all walk with me and know not to touch things unless I ask for something off a shelf. They know there's a time to play around and a time to behave

I can remember coming home with my then 2 year old feeling wrung out and almost demented, vowing never to go to town ever again. It feels relentless when we are going through it but it does pass. Ignore the people who feel it is their place to offer unasked advice, a sympathetic word or just an understanding smile is all I have ever offered to someone wrestling with a raging toddler.

She might be starting to outgrow redirecting - this is really a younger baby/toddler strategy. At 2-3 they start to get a stronger sense of their own wants and will start to persevere with what they want/ignore the redirection, and you need firmer consequences to head off misbehaviour - time outs etc.

Were they due a nap at that time? Had they had a decent length nap? Sometimes you get better/calmer behaviour from children this age if you stick to a nap schedule (eg at home in bed). If mine catnapped 20 mins on the way somewhere then woke, they would have been angry and tantrummy for as long as their body wanted to be asleep- often another hour or more.