To not want a funeral when I die?

I don’t think it’s weird and don’t be having one. I hate the idea of a load of distant family that I’m not close and aren’t actually upset, turning up to talk bullshit, when my close family and friends would be genuinely struggling and upset. I know those that matter will support each other and a funeral isn’t needed for that.

My preference is a direct cremation, no service.

I can afford the full works but it’s a colossal waste of money. Much more useful ways for it to be spent.

Recent funeral cost us 6 grand and that keeping costs massively down

But you'll be dead, what does it matter to you what happens, you won't know?

How much does a funeral cost roughly? And a cremation. Does anyone know?

I want one like the one I did for my DF, it was called a simple service. A cremation with a short 20 minute service before, I booked an officiant and chose three pieces of music and a poem. I’m sure he would have loved the music choices, and it wouldn’t have wanted a big fuss. It was just after 2nd lockdown so I couldn’t arrange a wake, even a cup of tea afterwards would have been nice . So I’d like a little do after mine, not a big boozy affair, tea and cake would be good.

I don't think it's weird. My mum died recently. We didn't have a funeral as such but as she was religious she did end up asking for a little something. She chose to have a direct cremation and then a month or so later we had a small gathering of her friends/family, read some poems and celebrated her. It was lovely. Also several grand cheaper than the bells and whistles funeral and she didn't want us to waste what little money had to gift us. The funeral director said it's really not that unusual to not have a traditional funeral now and many people are opting for this.

Direct cremations are pretty common nowadays, I'm surprised neither you or your friend have heard of them. I have a family member who choose to have one and talking about the subject at work a while back quite a few people said they were planning on doing it too

I don't attend funerals anyway. I certainly don't want my own. Direct cremation for me!

We have planned this too. And frankly, if one of us dies whilst we still have dependent children our family is going to need as many savings as possible with only one wage coming in, instead of wasting it on a (imo) pointless service.

I know someone whose grandmother recently died and said very clearly that she didn't want any kind of funeral, so they haven't had one for her. My friend wishes they could have one as she's finding grieving really tough. I don't see what difference it makes to the grandmother now that she's not here anymore.

I have no idea who would be mourn for me so the chances are I won't have a funeral unless it's one of those council ones. Although most likely the budget won't stretch to those anymore so my body will likelt be cremated and my ashes sent to the local tip.

An old school friend of mine passed away a few years ago from breast cancer. She had no funeral service and arranged for her ashes to be scattered in a farm field that she arranged privately with a local farmer.

If it's your wish then it's up to you I think.

My mother didn't want a funeral.

When she died we, her children and widower, did. So we had one.

I think funerals are for the living and I've found them really useful as a fixed point for the grief after a whole series of big bereavements. Most have involved a low key ceremony at the crem and then a big tea party somewhere nice. But even no frills is expensive these days - you know you are an adult when you have been coffin shopping.

The funeral isn’t really for the dead person, is it? It’s for the the people missing the person who died.

If you subscribe to that point of view, maybe it’s worth leaving it up to your family whether there’s a service/wake or anything.

DH is gutted that the PIL have both bought direct cremations. He is a traditionalist and had always looked forward to carrying them into their funeral service.

(As have I, but for different reasons).

I also don’t want a funeral. They are so expensive. Go to the pub and have a few drinks to remember instead . I am also not religious so wouldn’t want to suddenly be in a church even as a corpse.

I would much rather my kids have a fantastic holiday in my memory, rather than give an undertaker however many thousands it costs for a traditional funeral. Direct cremation all the way. My 90 year old Dad is insisting he has a direct cremation too. I'm pretty grateful I won't have to go through the whole funeral rigmarole after his death.

We are doing alot of funeral talk with DH at the moment, and basically, funerals are really, really poor value for what you pay.

Municipal feel to the crematorium, roll in roll out 30 min service or pay extra for a double shit, rubbish music systems and underwhelming tired premises. I hated that it was all kept to a strict clock, and that basically you had other funeral parties back to back.

What we want is actually a good celebrant and a wake.

You're not alone, I don't want one either, I told my DS to fly tip my corpse and not to waste any money on a funeral.

If he follows my wishes there will be no service, no vicar, no guests, no wake, just burn me and be done with it. No one will miss me anyways

I know everyone's different etc, but I'd be raging if my loved ones didn't have a big knees up when I died. Where they could all laugh at all the ridiculous things I've said and done etc. funerals are great for that. All the stories come out.

I’m having a Direct Cremation.
No service at all.

Go and speak to several local Funeral Directors to appraise yourself of what’s possible, then make your decision.

I visited 4 Funeral Directors all of whom were very friendly and helpful. Answered all my questions.

I’ve paid up front for my disposal. One less thing to lumber DC with.

From my point of view I wouldn’t want a funeral. I want to be cremated anyway as the thought of being stuck in a coffin freaks me out, and I’d like to be scattered by my immediate family and that’s more important to me than any formal service. I wouldn’t want a funeral where random people I know or family I never see show up just to check I’m really dead! I find funerals quite pointless. People say they get closure from them, but I’ve never felt that when I’ve attended funerals. They just add to the bleakness of it all for me.