To not want a funeral when I die?

Absolutely. That's why I've discussed it with my children/ dh. If they went against my wishes I'd be livid.
Luckily they are on the same wavelength. All this " paying respects" bollocks....often from those who gave no fucks about you when alive. The RIP brigade on FB.

Some funeral procedures and traditions seem like an added ordeal for those closest to the deceased. Particularly: following the coffin by car; coffin being in the room then going through a curtain to be burned, or put into the ground; providing hospitality for and interact with guests who have travelled to be there.

haven’t attended one that has felt like a ‘celebration of life’.

Thing is even with a traditional cremation you don’t go though the curtain straight into the fire it still might not even be that day.

So no different to a direct cremation and having a knees up or some other type of memorial. Not having a funeral itself doesn’t mean you can’t do a get together. It just means your not wasting money on pomp.

Funerals help provide closure. I'll have a funeral, and make my wishes known because I wasn't give guidance as to how that closure can be found. I think the structure of a formal service will be helpful to two of my DC. I'd like the funeral to be held in the church they grew up in went to weekly with school, because it will be very familiar for them.

A relative recently died and asked for no funeral. People have found it very difficult. Some have been left feeling hurt and angry.

I believe funerals are for the living not the dead. For me it’s for those who are grieving to make that decision.

The Co-Op have been advertising their pre-paid direct cremations and there are lots of similar options. I am absolutely certain I don’t want a funeral service, much less a wake, entertaining people I didn’t see when alive while they act as though my death is somehow sad.

My AC and GC can put the ashes wherever they like, left at the crematorium, scattered or interred as they prefer.

I want a direct cremation and my family and friends to have a small memorial. I do not want a church service.
So I get you!

Can you make an inheritance conditional on following your wishes in respect of a funeral (or lack of one)?

I don't want one either. If the family want to get together for a few drinks and a reminisce, great. But watching my coffin being ceremonially being brought in . No thanks.

I have dreaded every funeral I have ever had to attend. Never felt any peace from them. Only extra distress.

Would prefer not to do that to my family/friends.

DH & I discussed direct cremations a few years ago, & thought it was probably what we'd opt for. But, on discussion with my adult children, they said they'd want a funeral to say goodbye.

I do think funerals are really for the living, so I took out a funeral plan.

A year later I was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. I've now planned my funeral, although I've yet to speak to the Celebrant I want to use. I've put some money aside for a wake too. And even sorted some photos for the kids to put up.

I know one of the things that will be said about me is how organised I always was - so I'm not gona let them down. 😁

It's selfish to go against someone's wishes. Apparently there a few on here who would do that. You don't need a funeral today goodbye, have a memorial.

Fwiw pure cremation I think it's called are a bit of a rip off. Your local funeral places do them a lot cheaper.

My dad didn’t want one either. We had a wake and then a private cremation with my mum and siblings for the committal. Quite a few of the wider family and friends were very unhappy with us – which was quite an eye opener into people who make a funeral about them rather than the deceased, their widow and their children, but there you go. No regrets.

No, YANBU. My MIL died during lockdown (not Covid related) and we could not attend the cremation, we could only scatter her ashes.

The whole thing was so easy and dignified, that DW and I have both decided to have the same thing when our time comes.

I didn't used to want one at all either, I hate them and find them so upsetting and just horrible and weird.

However, a family member died at the beginning of the first Covid wave when funerals were very limited, and we couldn't attend. I now think they're helpful for those left behind - the ceremony helps process it. I've really struggled with his death (it was from Covid and not expected) and I think a funeral would have helped.

So now I think just the basics, no visible coffin because that's the worst bit, just some speaking if people want or just a wake is fine.

😂😂 brilliant

After my father in law's death last year and a run of elderly relatives passing away in recent times, I've decided not to have a funeral. They are flipping horrible. Impersonal too. I'd much rather leave a bunch of cash at my local pub and let people have a party with it.

I wouldn't even say funerals are for the living. Both my parents are alive, and I'm dreading their funerals. Awful, awful things.

Yanbu. I don't want one either. Dh and 4 of the dc are autistic so they would much rather no funeral. If my in-laws outlive me they will make it all about them and my choices of music etc will be ignored. I'd much rather not bother.

We walked by a removal the other day but everyone at it was chatting, hugging and laughing. When my dad died I hated seeing that sort of thing because I felt it was so alien to the hell I was in but then seeing that as an older person I appreciated the bringing of people together. I don’t know, it’s hard to know

I don't think it's that unusual both my dh, step dad and dad has a direct cremation
I think that's what I would want simple and no fuss.

I'm not having one. Direct cremation sorted and family know about it. Hopefully won't die for at least 15 years but everything in place.
I loathe traditional funerals.

I agree, I hate attending funerals, been to so many over the years. I find it traumatic and would not want to put my closest family and friends through that. I know I am loved, I don’t need an elaborate funeral to prove it.

This reminds me of an old but good joke

An elderly couple are sat on a bench in the park and the wife asks her husband
Do you want to be buried or cremated?
He replies
I don't know love, surprise me

I don't plan a funeral either. What is the point in making my friends sit through that and wasting money? I have it in my will and agreed with my executor to just cremate me as cheaply as possible and scatter me together with all my old cats, dogs and horses ashes (currently in my wardrobe in caskets so they are still safe with me) up on the hill overlooking my horses favourite fields in the forest where we had so many happy rides together.

I don't want one either. I think they're awful and the thought of one for me makes me cringe. I've told the kids (only half in jest) to refuse to collect me from the morgue and make the council pay for a paupers funeral. I plan to set up a direct cremation plan when funds allow. Ultimately I'll be dead and they can do what they want, I'll be none the wiser.