To de-arrange the funeral?

I missed that corker of a comment.
You have to love, the MN obsession with donating large amounts of cash to 'charity'.
It's like everyone is rolling in it, and no financial concerns of their own.

It Bob really wants to give the cash away why bother doing the funeral as cheap as possible. Go for proper funeral and give a eluogy for Sam's friends tell them how "lovely & caring" Sam was.

Yes, that's a rather bizarre outlook on it.

So if Bob had been lucky enough to have a lovely, caring mother throughout his life, he would then also benefit from all of her assets when she passed; but because he was abused and neglected and deprived of anything even resembling a 'basic' mother, he now needs to 'pay for' this by being told that he shouldn't morally keep any of the money?

Although obviously technically an inheritance, I would see whatever he ends up with from her as (still very inadequate) compensation for her abuse and neglect. I think it's of paramount importance that we don't effectively impute blame to the innocent victim by treating their rightful compensation as 'dirty money'. The money is to (in some way) compensate for somebody else's 'dirty behaviour', but the money in itself is not dirty at all.

It seems very mean to tell somebody who is in a position of deserving compensation that they nevertheless shouldn't be compensated; whilst, at the same time, somebody else who has not suffered at all in that way should get the equivalent amount, even when there is nothing to be compensated for.

No, it isn't murky at all. There are clear laws stating that a child is first in line for inheritance. This person didn't care about their child's wishes for stability, love and care; it is quite fitting that any of their ongoing animosity should be similarly ignored. Bob should do whatever Bob wants to do with the money, it is his by right.

Co-op Funeral Care,
Direct Cremation £1350 Inc scattering ashes, no family involvement.

So to inter the ashes will involve the cremation fee & a fee to handle the ashes. Local Council charge £305 to inter ashes.
Your not supposed to scatter them on top of graves

Unattended Burial £1350
But doesn't inc cost of plot or grave digging. Plots already paid, local council grave digging is £1150

OK I'll give you it direct Cremation is cheaper. But I don't see the point in paying to get the ashes back to put them in the plot. As that makes the plot used.

Depending on where the plot is and what the rules & regulations for the site are, scattering Sam's ashes on the plot may render it unsellable or massively reduce it's value. People buying a burial plot generally prefer not to buy second-hand.

I suppose it depends on whether the express wishes that Bob get nothing could be counted as some kind of ersatz will that gives a clear (partial) statement of intent?

I don't know what would happen when somebody has specified who should NOT get their money but has also failed to say who SHOULD. It's all quite murky - morally, if not legally.

Direct cremation. Scatter the ashes on the plot. Then sell the plot.
Someone said it yesterday and I'm saying it again now.

Isn't it? 😂

That's nice of you to tell Bob what to do with his inheritance 🤣

Good for you. Ignore any sanctimonious shite suggesting you do otherwise.

Well said.

Assets are just asset, even if they are prospective holes in the ground.

The principle that a child deserves to be cared for is a lot more significant than what happens to a dead body, as long as no desecration occurs.

Sam's mates can pay for their own drinks.

Best of luck to Bob, and I hope there is no will.

Just checked some facts and discovered an only child does inherit all their parents estate if there is no will however much it is. My mistake. I still maintain that no one can make Bob administer the estate. I would hope that there are rules to stop an already purchased burial plot being sold so the children can inherit more money. That doesn’t seem right to me on principle whatever the circumstances of the relationship.

Nobody can make him do anything. He can refuse to act. Then other arrangements will have to be made. We actually haven’t been told if Bob is the only beneficiary. That depends on how large the estate is and whether Sam has any other living relatives. Intestacy rules are complicated which is why it is always best to make a will. I think alot of assumptions have been made on this thread without sufficient information.

Bob/Bob's relative might want to think about direct cremation (info here https://www.sunlife.co.uk/articles-guides/funeral-planning/what-is-a-direct-cremation/) which might be a good solution for someone like Sam. If I was Bob's relative, I'd be very happy to think I'd be doing my bit for a child who had such an unpleasant mother.

In England, anybody can arrange a funeral. Typically if there is no family member to do it. However if you do, you may be considered to have taken on the role of executor, or you might not reimburied for the cost, or someone may complain that you shouldn't have done it. It is a charge against the deceased estate, if any. I went to one council ("pauper's") funeral where the dead person has debts and no savings, and none of the family liked him and refused to contribute. A priest conducted at the graveside. There was no church service. He was not even allowed a headstone.

The funeral does not include the cost of a knees-up in the pub.

You mean.. DIY?! .

I genuinely don't understand - unless do you mean no cremation at all? In which case I think the cost for digging a full grave for a coffin will be higher than for a box of ashes and will outweigh any savings on not being cremated.

This is an odd conversation, isn't it?

They want it paid for from the money Bob will inherit though so Bob can say no and must do so.

If friends want to remember Sam they can arrange and pay for their own bash. I suspect we will then see how we'll liked he was or wasn't

I don't really know what causes the long waits in England for funerals, but I think it.might be a shortage of crematorium.

Just organise a burial if it's quicker. The less time for Bob and you to stress about it and less time for friends to put their oar in the better

What would be the point, that involves paying for the crematorium and opening the grave.

Why not go Straight to burial?

It is possible to have the crematorium bury the ashes in the plot without any kind of ceremony or anyone other than the workers being present.

I would not be arranging a big funeral for Sam . I would arrange a direct cremation but I would then have her ashes buried in her plot if that's possible.
If her huge circle of friends want a lavish send off it would be up to them to arrange.
I do hope Bob inherits, but I'm sure he won't want any financial gain but rather look into donating to a charity to help support children who have suffered like he has .

Sam must be dead 3 or 4 days at least, nobody has come forward with a will, and no will has been found. I'm assuming you've been thought all the papers in the house.
I think it's safe to assume their isn't a will.