Move to bigger house or stay near DD's friend

I think playing out in a cul-de-sac with nice local friends is very valuable, particularly for an only child, and not guaranteed if you move. I'd stay put a bit longer, and see how things pan out.

I think if you will need a bigger house nearer town when she gets older, I'd just wait until nearer that time. If you're all happy living where you are, in a close knit community, there's a lot to be said for that.

This, my DS played out right up to secondary school , and a bit beyond, it was priceless in my opinion. If the new house had children playing out, I might move though as she is young enough to slot in.

Go on Love it or List it with Kirsty and Phil!

Definitely look to extend your current home, knock down a few walls or go into the loft.

'From secondary we found far less playing out and more connecting online via headsets to talk through homework together or chat whilst gaming.'

To me, exactly the reason to stay put and keep her out playing while you can.

See which replies make your heart lift with agreement, OP, and that'll be your answer.

Can you get a garden office and/or extend? Moving is so expensive

If you moved, which I think you should, two months later or whatever more people could move house and change the dynamic of who your child is near to. You need to put the needs of the adults above the needs of a 5 year old.

We moved area, DCs still went to the same primary but we were now a car ride away, we moved for space for Dh to work from home, in catchment for an incredible secondary and to a place that actually had local amenities.

Friendships change, job opportunities come up and people leave. Your DD should be able to make new friends over the next few years. From secondary we found far less playing out and more connecting online via headsets to talk through homework together or chat whilst gaming. Yes your DD is five but she won't be forever and houses may or may not become available.

Get a cabin in the garden for a home office / spare room and if you still want to move in a few years to be closer to a town centre, do it then. Job done.

I would stay if I were you. At least for a few years. What you describe is hard to find elsewhere.

I live in a cul de sac just like this. My DD stopped playing out when she was about Year 6 aged 10.

I wanted more space so did an extension in the meantime.

Definitely on the move now though.

We live in a 3 bed semi it is a large 1920’s one and has quite a big garden that is completely private size but did think about moving to a 4 bed. But the road I live in, well the neighbours are fab. People tend to buy and then stay for many years. The house next door did sell two years ago, our neighbours had been there for 15 years, we have been here 25 years and the other side has been here for 40 years. New neighbours are a lovely young couple with a baby which is nice as most of the road is 50 plus. People pay a big premium to live on our road. Most houses are much bigger than ours sort of 5 bed ones and one even has an indoor swimming pool.

I would stay and did. Consider a garden office for your DH a decent insulated one that you could even have a sofa bed in for guests.

DS used to play out with the neighbours children there were five houses here who all had children about the same age. Those children are now aged 23 to 28 and it’s been a pleasure watching them all grow up.

But it’s not just taking the 5 year old life into consideration it’s also op life that will be impacted if she moves. At the minute child can play safely and happily in the street with friends with maybe op just checking on them through window. If they are moving to a place where child can’t play out then for social interactions it will be trips to the park and op will have to go with child or arranged play dates - not saying either of these are a bad thing but at the minute she’s getting the benefit of both very easily, so op will have to weigh up if she thinks the change is worth it for the bigger house

I've read your updates and now I'm saying - stay!!

You have kind of changed your tune from 'we want to move but DDs friends' to 'we actually don't really want move'.

So don't move until she can walk to school by herself nearer town and activities. I'd say when she finishes primary.

Lots more time to save.

Garden office for DH that can be used as a spare room if you have the room and cash.

I was going to say move but actually a community and playing out is a precious thing. I would stay 2 more years unless it was a real squeeze

I understand why you wish to stay and it’s the sense of community you feel where are - of belonging. Which IS precious especially with an only.

Can you build an office in the garden and put a futon on it? It can double up for both spaces?

Or extend into the loft: I would try to stay where I was happy and content in your position. Your dd won’t be walking into town by herself for another six/seven years or longer and in the meantime sounds very settled. If you are staying with one - you don’t need a bigger house per se - just an office with a futon.

Move!!

You are incredibly lucky to have DD friends on the same street. It's 2 miles not a different county.

She's 5 and will make plenty of friends along the way.

It's a very short hop for them to visit and vice versa.

I would not continue to live a in a family home you've outgrown for this reason.

I'd stay put for now. Moving when they are slightly older and more independent will make it so much easier. They'll be walking to school on their own when they are 9/10 for example. Our neighbourhood sounds like yours, and whilst my DC is now a teen and doesn't play out or even socialise with the couple of kids he used to hang out with, I still benefit from the friendships enormously.

Yeah you can.

I'd move, you can't make decisions on where you live based on your 5 year old's friends.

We moved from a street with a built in peer group to only round the corner and I am so glad we didn’t move until DCs were old enough to call round for friends themselves (9-11 yrs). Having a traffic free street and four or five kids the same age was priceless - it meant our children could play out much earlier, and have more independence, as the local street was so much safer.

The principle question should be about (1) schools and (2) the lifestyle you want her to have as an older child.

What is the public transport system between where you are and town like? How big/safe is the town and how old would you be happy for her to be there unsupervised with 1 or 2 friends? I understand what you mean about lifestyle as a teenager, but as child and as a teenager a lot of my life was spent playing out in the cul de sac where we lived. We could walk and get a bus into the city if we wanted to go to the shops or cinema as teenagers, and that sort of made it more of a day out/adventure. At a younger age we could walk into the village to go to the newsagents to get sweets/magazines. However, we mainly sat in trees and chatted, played on bikes, roller bladed, making dens in our gardens; I'd have been devastated and would have missed out on a lot from those friendships and that outdoor lifestyle if we had moved - we went to different schools and were a fairly wide span of ages because of older/younger siblings from the core of us in the middle who were a similar age, so they were different friends to those I saw at school.

Whilst the posters above are right that a 5yo's existing friendship shouldn't dictate the situation entirely, the lifestyle you would prefer for her to have from the ages of 8-14 might. She is also presumably still in her first year or two of school.

If the size of the house is going to be determinative, I would personally wait until at least she finishes infant school if a house move would involve a school move, so that she can get established in one school's full KS1 curriculum rather than jumping around between schools.

I would stay where you are at least for another 3-4 years. You cannot put a price on the opportunity for smaller children the freedom to play out on their street.
As others have said, this is something I had as a child and it’s so sad my children have not had this opportunity. We live close to the primary school, and the village park is about 100m away (not in view though) but there was still never this community of just playing out and they’d always have to be taken to the park, and meeting up with friends had to be done by me messaging the parent rather than then just knocking in their friends doors to see if they can play.
When your daughter is approaching secondary, then it might be more important to her to be able to walk into town or other places or whatever, but now, and hopefully for a few more years, having that freedom on her street is extremely valuable.
Think of what you’ll save in moving costs and try squeeze in a garden office or something to tide you over?

I'm the parent of an only child and I can tell you that living in a complex with children made the single biggest difference to our quality of life. I would choose it any day over more space. You can move later when children are busier and more mobile. But at this age and stage - I can't think of anything that beats a built-in peer group. It's as much a godsend for you as for your DD - you will have to help her find ways to fill that time.