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AIBU?

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Original poster

Inheritance- property ownership

44 replies

Copenhagencatty · 02/05/2024 14:29

My elderly DM lives alone in a large house. She is still fairly independent and in good health for her age. In addition to her home, she owns two other houses which are rented out. She is not interested in downsizing or moving into sheltered accommodation until absolutely necessary.

I have 3 siblings. Under the terms of DMs will, which she shared with us all openly after our DF died, we inherit one house each.

DM’s properties are as follows:
Property A - her home - worth approx £2 m - earmarked for sibling 1
Property B- rental worth about £600K - earmarked for sibling 2
Property C -rental worth £650K - earmarked for sibling 3

Under the will, the properties will be independently valued, and DC 1, who inherits the more valuable property, will pay equivalent amounts to the other to siblings to make it even. There is quite a lot of cash/shares in the estate, so they may be able to pay these amounts without selling the house or other assets.

Recently, DC2 (who lives in another country), considered moving back to the country where DM lives to be closer to her. They mentioned living in the house that they will eventually inherit as the tenant recently moved out and the house is currently empty. DC1 & DC3 both agreed that DC2 should probably pay Market rent - although DM doesn’t need the money, it seemed fairest.

DC2 applied for a job in the country where DM lives, but this recently fell through so they have postponed the move for now and the property has been rented out again.
Despite having an agent to handle the tenancy, DM got quite involved in preparing the house for reletting (unnecessarily so perhaps) and mentioned that she found it stressful.

DC1 is concerned that DM has too much on her plate and has suggested that DM signs over the houses to the three DC now. This would mean that DC2 & DC3 can assume responsibility for the tenants, receive an income (Dm does not need the income) and DC2 could also live in the house rent-free if they decide to move back. This seems a fair arrangement and DM will no longer be responsible for managing the property taxes etc. The U.K. issues around deprivation of assets etc would not apply.

DC2 is not happy with the idea.

YANBU - DC1’s suggestion is a good one
YABU - DC2 is right to object

Despite the poll, I am actually DC3 and feel caught in the middle.

OP posts:
Original poster
Copenhagencatty · 02/05/2024 15:06

Dotjones · 02/05/2024 15:02

I have 3 siblings.

The whole thing seems a bit unfair if three siblings get a house and the fourth doesn't.

Sorry that was a typo - there are 3 siblings, me included.

I was trying to write it in a neutral way and got muddled 🤯

OP posts:
Mnetcurious · 02/05/2024 15:02

Edited as cross posted with response from op

Dotjones · 02/05/2024 15:02

I have 3 siblings.

The whole thing seems a bit unfair if three siblings get a house and the fourth doesn't.

Original poster
Copenhagencatty · 02/05/2024 15:02

DM is mostly happy to do whatever her accountant & DC1 suggest. DC1 is frequently involved in DM’s finances, often at her instigation because she trusts their opinions and advice.

She has a lawyer she likes who drafted her current will but lawyer is close to retirement and DC1 has suggested appointing a new lawyer . Her accountant has recommended engaging an estate planner.

DC2 objects because properties in the area are rising in value quickly in comparison to the other 2 properties. If DM lives for at least another 8 or ten years (hopefully!) property A will be worth a lot more than it is now. DC2 seems to think it’s some sort of scam.

I (DC3) don’t feel comfortable with the discussions in general but want to do the best thing for DM, whatever that is.

OP posts:
paintingvenice · 02/05/2024 15:01

endofthelinefinally · 02/05/2024 14:58

It is your mum who needs to get the advice. Unless she intends to leave a mess for you all to fight over.

Sounds like it was already sorted before they started trying to divvy up the spoils before she’s dead.

Hereyoume · 02/05/2024 15:01

Jesus OP.

What a situation to be put in. You must be devastated. Angst ridden, inconsolable.

🙄

endofthelinefinally · 02/05/2024 14:58

It is your mum who needs to get the advice. Unless she intends to leave a mess for you all to fight over.

Wakeywake · 02/05/2024 14:58

I think it's none of DC1's business. Whatever your mum and the beneficiaries want to do is the right thing to do. I can see why DC2 who lives abroad is not interested in managing a property right now. They might even decide not to move back to the area.

If your DM can't manage anymore, she can always sell the houses.

endofthelinefinally · 02/05/2024 14:57

Siblings are already arguing over it so you need to get estate planning advice from a proper estate planner, not an accountant, as soon as possible. Take the will with you as it is possible that changes need to be made and/or the properties written into trust.
Not all solicitors who write wills are experts in estate planning. With a large estate like this it is worth getting the legal stuff right.

Mercurial123 · 02/05/2024 14:56

Maybe just leave her alone until SHE'S ready to have the conversation.

user1492757084 · 02/05/2024 14:52

It depends what DM thinks.
She should seek the advice of her accountant.

If she decides she wants to give the houses to C2 and C3 now then they will have to deal with that and C1 will obviously enter into a different arrangement and help DM with maintaining her home.

Halzie · 02/05/2024 14:50

The only important question is what does your Mum want to do. The rest is just noise.

SpaSpa · 02/05/2024 14:50

Are there three or four siblings?

Fleamaker · 02/05/2024 14:43

I don't think it's a good idea for your mum to sign away her homes while she's still alive. Puts her in a vulnerable position.

Sounds over complicated to me. Why can't her estate (whatever that consists of) be sold and the proceeds split three ways when she passes away.
That's the fairest way surely??

mitogoshi · 02/05/2024 14:41

In all honesty with those kinds of assets she needs to speak with an expert on estate planning and also ensure her will is rock solid because it's got red flags at the moment, relying on one sibling to compensate others and assuming you all even want the properties.

endofthelinefinally · 02/05/2024 14:40

You need to go and talk to an estate planner and get professional (correct advice).

Tilyoufindyourdream · 02/05/2024 14:36

Does your mother know of this suggestion? What is her view, does she think it’s a good idea?
For what reason is DC2 disagreeing?

Haydenn · 02/05/2024 14:35

Mum has too much on her plate so I’ll just help her out by relieving her of this valuable asset? Cheeky fucker!!

They’re completely removing her sense of agency and control. So unreasonable it beggars belief.

StarlightLime · 02/05/2024 14:33

It's entirely up to your mother. None of you have any right to agree or disagree with some random plan that one of you has dreamed up for your mother's property.