DP lied

Yes - I literally feel the same - ha ha!

For some reason i thought a 'butty' was a roll or bread with butter on (and maybe chips stuffed in it), i am now really fancying one of these!!

I am assuming that the OP is referring to a sandwich!?

Why bring it up in the first place? It's weird. Does he have some residual guilt from not eating all his tea as a kid.

Worra knob.

It's the ease of the lie isn't it?

This thread is like peak Mumsnet!

Language snobbery, LTB, he must be cheating... All we need is a tinkly laugh and some ducks in a row and we'll be laughing!

Buttygate.

Do you ever get annoyed if he doesn’t eat his butty or has two lunches?

I can’t think why he would lie about this, unless it causes issues.

I can’t stand liars but it annoys me when the lies are completely unnecessary.

Or, alternatively, and I hate to be the one to say this, but something may have happened with this ‘’client’’ or he fancies her and feels guilty, it was playing on his mind and he brought it up, then got too unnecessarily descriptive telling an alternative story about what happened at lunch because he felt uncomfortable. Then when he brought it up again, rather than think on his feet of a reason why he lied, he deflected on to OP on purpose to get the spotlight off himself.

People are brushing this off because they don't understand what is going on.

He lied because he wanted to later create an argument. If there had been any shame about not eating the sandwich, or about eating sandwich and lunch, the last thing he would do is voluntarily bring up lunch for no reason. Twice.

but what these types of people do is create arguments to feed their narrative (to you) that you are 'difficult', 'stupid' or 'too sensitive'. It's part of twisting your sense of reality. And if you seek clarification from others, you get, 'it's just a sandwich!' and 'well haven't you ever told a white lie?' - just like on this thread.

So I certainly would be leaving the bastard, because I guarantee that's what this man is.

I'm enlightened as I've never heard of a butty outside of a chip butty!

It's all a bit odd as to why he asked you if you had eaten lunch and then described the manner in which he had eaten his referencing the crisps etc.

This is exactly how I feel! People brushing it off as if it’s nothing, but point is, why? And why bring lunch up in the first place then blame OP for being silly instead of just calmly explaining why he lied and laugh it off? It’s quite a big red flag 🚩 to me. When you’ve had experience of these kind of things it makes you far wiser to it.

Personally I'd consider it a red flag because my ex used to lie about the most pointless unnecessary things just to lie. It feels like a character trait to me. I don't like lying.

I came to say this.

Absolutely.

What's worse is having a Welsh exH and instinctively translating the word into 'mate' every time before correcting it to my northern roots. All right, butty?

It matters for exactly that reason, because it’s an absolutely ridiculous thing to lie about, and not only that but OP didn’t even bring lunch up, he did.

Lying about tiny things with good intentions/reasoning is acceptable in some cases, but lying over ridiculous things is suspicious considering he has just brushed OP off by deflecting and telling her she’s being silly instead of just saying something like ‘’Oh, I’m sorry, I just didn’t want to be asked 20 questions at the time about the client’’ or whatever.

I’m usually quite a chilled out person, and had my partner said to me ‘’oh I met a client for lunch today I’d reply ‘’oh, yes? Did you enjoy it?’’ But lying is one thing I cannot stand.

OP, think back over whether you've ever told someone a minor fib and then decide whether it really matters.

The Diddymen beg to differ

YANBU and I'd be very on my guard about other lies he's telling.
Yep, let's immediately jump to a conclusion. the very worst conlusion

Is this a blatant attempt by the Diddymen to keep the jam butty mines open...

Yes!

So who did he have lunch with?

It is a strange thing to lie about, isn’t it? And the fact he brought up lunch first? Perhaps it was playing on his mind for some reason? Guilt that he didn’t eat them after you made them? Thought you might interrogate him about who his lunch partner was if he told you at that time? It’s only a small thing but it would make me wonder ‘’wtf has he lied about THAT for?’’

Ohhhhh Betty

Or Bitty!

That's all I can focus on.

I think he was trying to spare your feelings or not appear a greedy guts.

On the evidence so far, I don't think he has an OW or that you should LTB just yet.

I'm surprised the poll is saying 50 50 at the moment. Unless it was a mega expensive / time consuming butty, or you have a history of flying off the handle at tiny things ('what! You didn't eat the butty I made you, you bastard, I'm never making you lunch again!') then this is a pointless and bizarre lie.

It isn't 'sparing your feelings' if it would never have otherwise come up and if you'd not have been upset anyway!

If my husband had said he didn't eat something I'd cooked for him because he had a client lunch I'd have said 'oh did you go anywhere nice? If you've kept it, it will probably be ok for tomorrow' or something. If he made up a whole backstory to a pointless lie I'd be extremely hurt and find it difficult to trust him.