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AIBU?

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Original poster

DP lied

115 replies

No1toldmeaboutit · 02/05/2024 07:41

Met my DP after work yesterday, he was with a client so he told me to come and meet them and we had a quick drink. On our way home he asked if I had my lunch, I said yes, i had made butties that we had took to work, he then told me he had one bite of his butty and then ate all his crisps and then finished the butty.

Later on in the evening he mentioned having met the client for lunch and that he didn’t have his butty. I called him on this and he started deflecting. I have no issue with him meeting people for lunch but I am so annoyed that he actually made up a complete story about his butty. I hadn’t even brought up lunch, he did.

he’s now telling me I’m being stupid, it’s just over a butty but alls I keep thinking is what else does he lie about. I know it’s just a butty but AIBU to be annoyed?

OP posts:
Emmz1510 · 06/05/2024 13:10

Mmmm yes slightly weird on several levels. Was the client he met for lunch the same one that he had been with when you met up with him for a quick drink after lunch? As in he’d been with that client all afternoon?
If so, why concoct the story about the sandwich being eaten? Unless his thought process was ‘she’s going to be offended I’ve met someone for lunch and not ate the sandwich she made so I’ll pre-empt this question by saying that I did eat it so as not to hurt her feelings’. On the odd occasion I’ve made my OH a packed lunch I’d have been slightly pissed if he didn’t eat it but obviously if something came up and he’d ended up eating out I would have understood.
Then maybe during the later discussion he forgot he already fibbed to you about this?
Or as someone said the greedy get ate two lunches and was too embarrassed to admit it!
Either way he’s made a pigs ear of that white lie! Only you know if he’s got form for stupid lies and whether you’ve reason not to trust him

Reallyneedsaholiday · 06/05/2024 12:12

Maybe if he didn't lie, she wouldn't feel the need to overthink things

Swanfeet · 06/05/2024 12:05

Please stop saying the word ‘butty’!!

I think if this is all you have to be annoyed about then count yourself very lucky…and maybe stop making his lunch for him! 😆

TinyFlamingo · 06/05/2024 11:59

Lost all me meaning!

Northernladdette · 06/05/2024 11:57

I think you need to ask yourself why he felt he needed to lie about his ‘sandwich’ 🤔🤔

Sharonparren · 03/05/2024 11:37

NeverEnoughPants · 02/05/2024 07:49

Has the word 'butty' gone all weird for anyone else?

Absolutely!

if someone was lying to me about such trivial stuff I would be wondering what I was doing to make them feel they couldn’t be honest. Sounds to me like he’s a bit scared of you

NeverHeardOfSuchTosh · 03/05/2024 11:18

CloudyYellow · 02/05/2024 18:59

You need to get out more. Ridiculous post.

Some people have obviously got nothing more to worry about than a bloody "butty"

Avocadorable · 03/05/2024 01:08

jesus wept …….. did he or did he not eat the butty ? That … cannot…. Be the question ?’.. 🤭

WhichEllie · 03/05/2024 00:52

Completely unrelated, but this thread reminds me of the time when I was maybe 6 and my parents were annoyed at one another over something, so in retaliation my (American) father got me saying “hoagie” instead of sandwich. Mum was beside herself. Grin

5128gap · 02/05/2024 19:05

NeverEnoughPants · 02/05/2024 07:49

Has the word 'butty' gone all weird for anyone else?

Indeed it has. He said he'd eaten his butty, butty didn't. Butty he did try to butty me up by saying he ate his butty. Butty lied.

ItsAllMadness24 · 02/05/2024 19:00

Butty didn't need to even mention the butty, butty did.

CloudyYellow · 02/05/2024 18:59

You need to get out more. Ridiculous post.

LBFseBrom · 02/05/2024 18:52

Me neither!

Notsurewhatsgoingonhere · 02/05/2024 18:23

Haretodayswantomorrow · 02/05/2024 07:51

This kind of lying has always annoyed me more than the sort of lying that’s happening because they can’t cope with there being consequences/getting caught.

it was an utterly pointless lie. Like a 5 year old making up random stuff at school with no actual reason to do so. The level of detail “I ate one bite, I ate my crisps, then ate the rest” is weird. Why even bring it up?? It’s like he wanted to tell a lie and see if you noticed or challenged it?

I often wonder if these are just men stuck in a very early developmental phase (experimenting with lies, how you can bend reality, what will people question and what will they just believe, finding the boundaries) or it’s just some really weird low grade power play?

Whatever it is it gives me the ick and destroys trust because it shows a pattern of thinking and behaviour that’s not normal. Lying for lying sake isn’t ever normal.

Ugh this!!!!!

I had a “friend”
who I made a birthday cake for. She went on and on about how she took it to work and everyone loved it. Went to her place for dinner a few days after and saw it in the fridge. Have just thought she’s weird ever since. Being an adult is not telling stupid lies for no reason.

VeryStressedMum · 02/05/2024 18:19

I've only heard of a chip butty! But regardless yes it's really weird that he did that I have no idea what his thinking is. Just weird.

bombastix · 02/05/2024 17:38

I would relax. It's a sandwich, not a crime scene

OssieShowman · 02/05/2024 17:38

What’s in a butty? Or is it any type of sandwich.
In Australia they are only called a sandwich or Sanga.
For some reason, I am thinking of a chip/crisp sandwich.

StormingNorman · 02/05/2024 17:35

No1toldmeaboutit · 02/05/2024 08:04

Shall I change it to sandwich so you can all rest easy 🤣

Hahaha! I thought you’d never ask 🤣

The only butty is a chip butty. Everything else is a sandwich.

Mountainpika · 02/05/2024 17:34

He must have eaten it if he brought it up.

StormingNorman · 02/05/2024 17:34

Please stop saying butty.

I don’t think there’s anything to be suspicious about.

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 02/05/2024 17:29

NeverEnoughPants · 02/05/2024 07:49

Has the word 'butty' gone all weird for anyone else?

Yes 😆

pocketaces · 02/05/2024 17:27

SpringerFall · 02/05/2024 12:03

Maybe he lied because he feels you overthink things?

This

mossylog · 02/05/2024 17:03

I think it probably was an "innocent" white lie, but it's reasonable to be annoyed, as they are a bad habit that undermine trust.

I've got a family member who constantly massages the truth to smooth over social conflict and once you realise she's doing it, it's maddening, you can never trust anything she's saying despite the fact her intentions are pure, no malice.

muggart · 02/05/2024 16:59

It would annoy me too.

For whatever reason saying the truth made him feel uncomfortable. Rather than just accepting that slight discomfort he chose to exchange it for lying to you, because lying to you and tricking you is less uncomfortable for him than the discomfort of admitting he didn't eat the butty.

It's disrespectful and also a little cowardly.

Howmanycatsistoomany · 02/05/2024 15:03

So he didn't eat the sandwich and felt a bit guilty (although, why?) and fibbed and then knuckled down rather than admit he'd fibbed and hadn't eaten it? Like you, I'd be annoyed but I really cannot stand liars.