DP lied

Does anyone remember the hammich, where a poster was adamant that it was an actual name for a ham sandwich? 😂

It’s hard to tell from your post but are you the sort of person who flies off the handle easily about little things? If so, your partner might have found it easier to make something up rather than have an exhausting conversation about why they they didn’t eat the butty or who they had lunch with. I was in a relationship like this, which is why I mention it.

It may be that this perspective is not applicable at all. In which case, It’s either that he did it to spare your feelings (which is reasonable. Can we really all claim to never tell a lie of any sort ever? If so, that’s probably even weirder as you might have issues with tact and diplomacy 🤣)

Or, worst case scenario, he has a lying problem and regularly lies about every and anything. Thats possible too but if you’ve never picked up on it before at all, that’s probably unlikely. I think you’d have had some warning signs

Recreational lying is not a good trait. Have a conversation and move on, but also be aware if it starts reoccurring.

But it’s not about the butty is it, it’s the fact he’s lied. Infact he brought up the lie for absolutely no reason.

Read while eating a crisp butty 🤩

As someone who grew up in NW England in the 70s and 80s, the word b * * * y was used to mean any two slices of bread with a filling between them. That said, I agree that it is a horrible, common as muck word, and therefore intend to petition MNHQ to get it banned here.

Is this post for real? It is hilarious 😂

He probably brought it up because he completely forgot you'd made sandwiches. Once you reminded him you'd made one he pretended to have eaten it rather than just say "oops I left it in the fridge at work".

Then - having been reminded that he had originally had a sandwich but having forgotten that he'd already white-lied that he ate it - he told the truth that he'd not eaten it.

Now he's just embarrased, because you've basically highlighted a string of mistakes he's made. Just let it go. It's a sandwich.

I don't think it's at all sensible to think "if he once lied about a little thing it means he often lies about big things". This is the same logic as saying "if he once drove 31 mph in a 30 mph zone that probably means he always drives 100 mph on the motorway" or "he brought a pen home from the office, that means he probably is a frequent shoplifter".

Couldn't find it in me to get my knickers in a twist about this unless he has form for lying!

Butty-gate!!

This is the second sandwich-induced argument I've read about on Mumsnet today.

Butty is a horrible word. As is sarnie. Possibly not as bad as sang-wich though.

I think the commenters saying OP is ridiculous for even thinking about this are the type who tell these stupid unnecessary lies and they clearly don't realise how it totally changes the way people see them. I despise liars.

I think you need to give your head a wobble. If that’s bad enough to annoy you, you’re either hormonal or you’ve got the cushtiest life ever.

Seriously, you’re annoyed enough by this to come on mumsnet and ask for validation?

My ex would have lied like this. He told pointless lies all the time, alongside bigger ones.

He sent me a pic of some sexy knickers he’d bought and I can wear them that night. I’d got out of hospital after surgery that day. Never found out who they were for either.

He did cheat on me twice that was confirmed. I don’t like liars.

Well it is weird. Just been trying to imagine my partner randomly telling me he’d eaten a sandwich, and then an hour or so later telling me he didn’t eat it because he’d gone out and had something else. I’d think he’d lost his marbles. Also I would feel irritated and suspicious, as it would seem that the point he was trying to get across at all costs was that he’d had lunch. (I read a lot of crime fiction). I would start to think he didn’t have lunch at all and was trying not to disclose what he did do - take cocaine? Go to a strip club? Have an enormous knickerbocker glory with extra chocolate sauce?

Some folk just chat sh*t for no apparent reason except to literally just pronounce a string of words I think. It does bewilder me why but also I start to think any conversation is going to be pointless as I’ll just be listening to a lot of words that mean nothing and it ultimately doesn’t matter what I say in response then - truth or lies - till the whole effort of having a conversation is pointless and it’s all just too surreal for me - might as well read a good book instead.
However, they’re not necessarily bad people or necessarily doing it for bad (or even insane) reasons so there’s no need to stop any relationship over this weird habit if you’re happy with them, happy with their values/loyalty or whatever is important to you.
One guy told me he felt he was being too vulnerable by telling the truth (even about his dinner) so liked to do little stories when asked something 🤷🏼‍♀️ - he was also a salesman and a bit of a player, and very charming. However another, who was in fact a fun and loyal friend, never said but we all knew she had very low self esteem - probably started covering that off and expanded as it became second nature perhaps.
You know if he tends to be the big me up type, story teller, just trying to be really nice to you or whatever - and probably know when you’d need to be worried- and whether you can just ride with it or whether to try and retrain him?

Who knew Ali G was on mumsnet?

You lost me because of the 100 times you used the word butty.

And why both discuss several times in detail about your lunches, are these really normal conversations you have with each other.

Hits nail on head. I’m bearing this in mind in case of coming across this behaviour again.

Leave The Butty.

Why did he bring it up in the first place just to lie

odd

I am so charmed by the word ‘butty’ 😍. I’ll have his if he doesn’t want it ♥️

Have you asked him why he lied about it? Was it because he ate both? Because you'd made the butty and he wanted to look appreciative? Because he enjoys the power trip of getting one over on you?

Butty? Unless it was bacon or chips you've used the word butty wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

On a serious note, he said he'd eaten it so it didn't upset you - nothing more.

If this is as tough as life gets then you're doing ok.

Honestly I'd be asking myself why he felt that he couldn't tell you that he hadn't eaten the sandwich, or had 2 lunches. Do you have a history of being upset if he doesn't eat what you make or have you ever made any comment even in jest about his eating habits?