Mother-in-law wants me to formula feed and let her feed my baby

You can pump (only if you want to!) if mil is insistent and you want to indulge her but honestly it's none of her business.

Sorry

Id have smiled and said that won't happen if I breastfeed but you can help with advice please for that.
Why make arguments the world is ugly enough..

I have been in your position and my recommendation is to worry about this after the baby is born. You have to realise BFing doesn't come naturally. Some women don't even make enough milk. It might take a long time to figure things out esp as a first-time mum.

Don't set expectations, and wait and see how things go. When the baby comes, ultimately all decisions will fall on you and your husband, so your MIL isn't even worth the time you spent posting this - let alone upsetting you!

Of course, you will BF if things work out smoothly. You never know what will happen! You might have an exhausting labour ending in an emergency section, you might have to stay in hospital and not be able to BF or you may actually be so sleep deprived that you beg anyone to just handle a baby with formula while you get a good night's sleep.

My point is you should be open to all scenarios and not be upset over something based on an ideal labour/postpartum. I wouldn't give you MIL too much attention right now but you yourself need to be open to all expectations.

Thank you 😆

Your baby....your rules.i read the other comments,and most of them in my opinion are spot on, I'm a grandparent to a toddler, absolutely everything I give grandchild is ok'ed by my DIL.i respect that toddler is not my child,and would only take over in an emergency, looks like your MIL is over the top,and needs to show respect,and back off.If she doesn't, I would suggest you control her visits.😀

You've accidentally posted in someone else's thread. If you go back out to the AIBU topic you'll see the "start new thread" option.

Just say no you plan to breast feed exclusively so will have no need for bottles

This.

Honestly OP tell her bluntly to Piss Off if your DH won't.

She's absolutely off her rocker and I really would keep your baby well away from her. I wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her.

Totally this! She can feed baby later on with expressed milk from a bottle when you are ready

I take it this is your first baby? After I had my second I was far more confident at saying no! People think they can pick up a newborn, pass them around, without consulting the mother. We wouldn’t do it to wild animals, so why do we think it’s acceptable with humans?! I wanted my babies with me, it’s a natural instinct. Be firm, and be confident with your decision. Good luck!

''You are just saying this because you are controlling".

On repeat, every time she tries the 'hormonal as an insult' tactic.

Also - don't say 'Sorry, no'.

Say 'No'.

Well yes of course you are hormonal! But that doesn't mean you don't have the mental capacity to decide what you want for your baby. She sounds really nasty.

It's hard enough with a newborn without all this stress. Your DH needs to repeatedly tell her to back up. She is at risk of not having a relationship at all with her DGC.

This is your baby not hers and you do as you see fit. Plenty of mothers breast feed and the baby's father and grandparents have amazing bonds with the baby.

It is the parents right to determine how their baby is fed. I think it's wonderful that you'd like to breastfeed. She should be pleased, not jealous.

My DF and my DS were incredibly close because they did other stuff from the moment he was born. My DF would change my DS and hand him back to me, or cook for me, take DS out in his stroller, bathe him, hold him, play with him. Anything really.

There is plenty she can do without keeping on at you.

Ffs - why don't some people get that babies are not toys or status symbols to be passed round the family. They need their mums, and if the mum decides to / can breastfeed, then that's what's happening. End of.

If she's not suppotive of your choices, then minimise contact with her. She clearly can't be trusted.

Why is she so ignorant? Everyone knows that breastfeeding is in a baby's best interests, why does she want to interfere with this?

Your mil is off her rocker! You do what you want to do for your baby. To the other poster saying it's a generational thing - I'm 65 and breastfed both my children til they were fully weaned. Stop with the ageist comments.

YANBU
But do get some ready made formula, a steriliser and some bottles in just in case of problems with breastfeeding. I planned to exclusively breastfeed but was having issues with it, cue panicked rush to the shop on first night home.
I did get it established ok in the end and breastfed until 18 months. I still believe breast feeding is best for babies if all goes well and MIL should back off and accept this. But do have a back up plan.

You definitely don't need to feed your baby formula. Not unless breastfeeding doesn't work out for you for whatever reason, and obviously your baby isn't born yet so there's no reason to believe that should be the case.

I have had a wonderful breastfeeding journey with my two children and neither of them have ever tasted formula.

What I would say is that if you do manage to exclusively breastfeed, it might not be a bad idea to introduce a bottle occasionally once your supply is established. My son started to take a bottle of expressed breastmilk once or twice a week from when he was about a month old and it meant I was able to send breastmilk to the childminder's for him after I went back to work, until he was big enough not to need it. With my daughter we weren't so deliberate about it, she took a bottle a couple of times when she was small and then didn't bother doing it regularly, and by the time I went back to work when she was 8 months old she wouldn't take a bottle anymore. It has made things more constraining for us because I was the only one who could feed her.

This is not to say that you should do this for your MIL's benefit, but you might be glad your baby can take the occasional bottle if you want to go out for the evening, or even if you were ill and needed to go to hospital, you'd know that your baby would be OK.

But when your baby is newborn, if you want breastfeeding to be a success you should keep your baby as close to you as possible for the first few months, feed on demand until your supply is properly established, and don't let anyone else interfere. Your MIL needs to respect your boundaries.

This seems like a non-question.

Obviously, you feed your baby the way you want (obviously assuming all the baby’s health needs are met).

You just say to your MIL, “actually sorry the baby will be exclusively breastfed” and that’s that. If she persists, keep saying no. If she still won’t stop then you’ll need to involve your DH and take more drastic steps.

What I find unreasonable Is that you have to ask a forum online if it’s fair for another person to tell you how you will have to feed your baby and that then you describe yourself as extremely kind when in fact you sound just like a pushover . I don’t mean to be harsh but for the sake of this baby you are gonna have to toughen up and start to make decisions like a mother as soon as possible which is going to mean do what it’s best for you and your baby without even considering a request like this .