Mother-in-law wants me to formula feed and let her feed my baby

This is absolutely not her decision to make.
good luck with your bf journey, it is special, I hope you enjoy it

Your MIL had turned her I security into defensive bullying and that's just not right. Good on you for sticking up for yourself and your baby! This won't be the last of it, but at least you've drawn your line in the sand.

@FuckOffTom I know, it's beyond belief isn't it!!!

You are not being unreasonable at all, however as a precaution I would keep some formula (perhaps in secret), as I too wanted to exclusively breastfeed, but ended up not being able to.

That's a good one.

WOW! I’m glad you never said that!! Very nasty and judgemental.
goodluck breast feeding and best of luck with your MIL, just be firm but polite

Of course you're not BU. Tell her now before your baby arrives that you'll be breast feeding but you're looking forward to the support she's offering & she'll be able to have plenty of snuggles. Mention how you feel to you DH about your feelings that she may try & take over when baby is here. As long as he's on your side & has your back he'll be able to smooth things over with his Mum so she doesn't interfere. Don't let anyone bully you into something you don't want. Good luck.

@Artmumcreative that's the sort of over bearing and entitled c**p that you need to nip in the bud straight away. It's up to you. Also be prepared to set boundaries about when you want visitors as she sounds like she's the sort to show up during your labour and whenever she feels like it.

Sounds just like my late mother in law answer For information it’s a totally different sucking action for breast than bottle No totally breast feed and I hope it goes well Lay the rules down Now

All this??

what else is she trying to push onto you and Blaine on hormones?

I had people say they wanted to feed my baby, I expressed and offered them and their attitude was ‘oh just feed them, it’s easier if you just do it!’ So I never expressed again

Kids won't die from drinking bottled milk now and again.

Ask her how dh was fed as a baby. If she says breastfeeding then say and that's how I intend to feed my baby. If she says bottle, tell her that was her choice, your is different and you will not change how you feed your baby just because she wants to feed them.

This is your baby and she should have no say in how you feed or otherwise parent your child. Sure, advice may be welcome and can be politely acknowledged and ignored but you need to make boundaries clear.

I ended up formula feeding my baby because he got bottle preference in NICU and stubbornly refused to breastfeed. I wasn’t great at expressing milk either and baby had a talent for just being too full or tired to drink the formula I had added breast milk to.

However I was the one who fed him, and my husband did a lot of feeds so I could sleep and they could bind. Since hospital and until childminder (I had a bit of a mental crisis and needed this as I have no close family to help, not even a difficult one, as they are all dead or vey far away), no one fed him apart from me and my husband. I wouldn’t dream of letting other people have a turn feeding him, unless he had an older sibling.

Oh I feel for you. I was in a similar position when my baby was born. All my in laws told me that my baby would be happier if I gave them a bottle (and a dummy). I was told I was feeding too often (I fed on demand of course, which can be every hour sometimes) and how could I know my baby was getting enough if I was breastfeeding.
Please don’t listen to any of it, ever. I fed a very healthy, strong boy for 13 months and it’s one of my proudest achievements because breastfeeding is hard in those first few weeks.

Please, whatever happens, stick to your guns, listen to your heart and listen to your baby and no one else. I’m sure you’ll figure out something to say back to MiL to get her to back off. If breastfeeding doesn’t work out for you though, you are always completely within your rights to only have you and your DH feeding baby with the bottle, my health visitor actually told me it should be mum and dad bottle feeding for the first few weeks. You’ll find your way, lucky baby having such a strong mum!

I see major red flags. She’s going to be a bloody nightmare if you allow her

Oh monsters in law.

no. Just no. And I wouldn’t even let her over to meet baby till after a month. Or six weeks. It’s actually better for your postpartum recovery and fending off PPD/A to keep to yourselves for that time. Especially keeping stressful people like her out!

My babies only ever had breast milk. MIL made the same comments to me (although not before the births). Just ignore—she wants to be in control.

Tell her no, and be firm!! Do not give in. So glad your DH has your back. Just because a baby is breastfed doesn’t mean she can’t bond with the baby another way. Though if she carries on, she won’t get chance, as will be banned from
visiting!

🤣 yeah…. NO!

You and yr DH have to stand firm and united because she will bulldoze her way through your life if you don’t set boundaries now.

Good luck with the birth and breast feeding.

This 🤣🤣🤣

Do MILs never read MN and realise how completely batshit some of their demands sound?

Say NO hard no
breastfed my daughter was the best thing I could have done , no need to take bottles etc
the comfort and secure bond it brings is beyond,I had a rough time to start with not latching etc , but so pleased to have exclusively breastfed .
dont bend to anyone’s needs the bond with your child paramount