Mother-in-law wants me to formula feed and let her feed my baby

Absolutely none of her business, feed your baby how you want to

It’s worth keeping in mind that sometimes breastfeeding is hard to begin with. Be very firm that it’s what you’re going to do, and you’re prepared to persist. Otherwise if you’re struggling she may see an opportunity to undermine you and get you to change your mind.

Of course you can change your mind, but only if you want to!

Who's the 2 % saying Yabu? Idiots...

Hopefully the Father can have some bonding time too! I'm not sure this is unpopular with MNs generally though? I've seen many posts with support for new mums far outweighing anything contradicting this. I'm sure this will become apparent with the responses to this post in full support of the OP. Quite right too! This MiL needs to do one!

Anyone who puts their own needs/wants over your baby's needs, shouldn't ever be put in charge of your baby.

Newborns need their own mum the most. The end.

You are going to need very firm boundaries around this one!!!

Your husband needs to politely tell her to fuck off, and if she still doesn't back down, then less politely.

I'd be keeping her firmly at arm's length as she is going to be a nightmare.

Absolutely say no!!! This is when you must start putting hard boundaries in. It's better to have a mini fall out now than when baby is here. Make your expectations known and manager hers.

Fwiw, I mix fed, and I was the only person (H did the very odd few or would take over feeds) allowed to feed my babies for the first 6m. Because, I saw it exclusively as my job as a their mother. I'm not saying anyone else should do this. But, for me and my circumstances, it was the right thing for me to do.

She has absolutely no right to ask or even suggest this. This is your baby, not hers. I wouldn’t leave the baby with her in case she tries a bottle. Your Dh needs to speak to her and tell her she was bang out of order.

Say no now and set out your boundaries before the baby comes along "sorry, I'm going to try to breastfeed. If we do end up bottle feeding, I want only DH or me to give her the bottle. There are lots of other ways you could help though: batch cooking, baking breastmilk boosting flapjacks, changing dirty nappies, taking baby for a walk/to a class..."

YANBU. It isn't reasonable for her to tell you how and what to feed your baby (especially in a way contrary to your wishes).

She has no say in how you feed your baby! Also, the advice is that even formula fed babies should be fed by their main caregiver and not 'passed around'. My MIL had such a weird reaction to me exclusively breastfeeding and even recently she fed my DD (3) her dinner because DD was tired and said to her "this is nice because I never got to feed you as a baby" 🙄I honestly don't get what it's about?

Tell her to get the fuck off.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT."

Come on OP you KNOW she is being unreasonable. She sounds like a freaking nut case! Keep her at arms length and tell her you're doing it all your way and she can bugger off!

Just say no. Dh should be supporting you here . Even if you did ff your baby your rules. you feed your baby however you want too. Yanbu

Tbh that would sort of comment would make me even more determined to breastfeed my baby. I’ve EBF two and have never had any one say I should formula feed for their own selfish reasons. I can’t believe people actually do that. Please don’t do this just because she has said this.

Sounds like she’s going to be horrendous, your partner needs to have your back now

Tell her just two words....

Fuck off

She needs to respect your choice to breastfeed exclusively. There’s a lot she can do such as holding your baby, nappy changes, bath time, entertainment, washing the baby clothes, clearing up, looking after you by being supportive.

However you feed your baby, don’t ever let anyone pressure you into letting them feed your baby. The only way your MIL should be bonding with your baby is by supporting you. The first few weeks and months are about physical recovery and bonding between mother and child. That means that those who love you and want to one day have a good relationship with their grandchild/niece/nephew should be looking after you by dropping some food off, telling you what a wonderful job you’re doing and/or tidying up after themselves if they visit. That doesn’t seem to be a popular view on mumsnet but popularity doesn’t matter when it comes to your physical and mental well being as a new mother. You are more patient than me. I would have absolutely lost it with my MIL (and indeed I did with my SIL) if I was told anything like this.

Nip it in the bud and set boundaries now. Sounds like she will be very overbearing when the baby is here.

Your baby, your rules.

MIL obviously has form for breaking boundaries. Get firm and stay firm with her.

'thanks for offering MIL, can you feed me instead? Then you will be indirectly feeding her'

Why is she so desperate to feed the baby? Surely she can sit on the sofa and have a cuddle? Bizarre.
Just ignore and do what you want.

Tell her to do one. I've never heard anything so preposterous.

Why do you need to ask? Just say no!