Mother-in-law wants me to formula feed and let her feed my baby

I am so in loss why there are so many grandmothers who think it's their job to feed the baby. They had their own babies in the past to do that. Just tell her you are breastfeeding and that's it.

YABU for even thinking her demand is in any way reasonable.
Get her one of those feeding dolls as it’s none of her business how you feed your baby.
She needs putting in her place now so she knows who is having this baby so she keeps her nose out in future.

Tell her to take a long walk off a short pier.

Who on earth does she think she is? OMG tell her NO.

Do not let her ruin your bond with your baby.

It’s extremely odd to be so desperate to feed someone else’s baby. My son was exclusively breastfed until he started solids and even my husband never fed him for the first 6 months, and he had no issue with this as he knew supporting my breastfeeding was in our son’s best interests. It hasn’t affected their bond at all, my son absolutely loves his dad and is very comfortable with him. Tell her you will be feeding your child the way you choose and as she’s not her baby there’s no need for her to be feeding her. They can bond in other ways though it’s far more important that you as the parents get to bond with your baby.

I express and then bottle feed my 11 weeks old. The amount of people that ask to feed him and I say no. Only myself and my partner has ever given him his bottle. He's my baby and I think feeding time is a great time to bond with your baby.

I would tell her that you have decided to breast feed your baby and therefore she won't be bottle feeding them. Tell your husband to stand up to her as well because she will pressure you later if she thinks she can.
Tell your father in-law what she wants to do and tell him if she persists with this you will be leaving the baby with them 2 night s a week especially if they have colic. I can't see him wanting to have a crying new born in his house a few times a week.
Tell him due to what she say that you know she wants to mind the baby full time when you go back to work and it very generous for them to give up their retirement to help you out.

Some mil think they can decide what happens when a baby is born and you do what suits them. The reality is the you, your husband and baby will be a new family and it you decision to do what suits you and them not your mil.

I would tell her that you have decided to breast feed your baby and therefore she won't be bottle feeding them. Tell your husband to stand up to her as well because she will pressure you later if she thinks she can.
Tell your father in-law what she wants to do and tell him if she persists with this you will be leaving the baby with them 2 night s a week especially if they have colic. I can't see him wanting to have a crying new born in his house a few times a week.
Tell him due to what she say that you know she wants to mind the baby full time when you go back to work and it very generous for them to give up their retirement to help you out.

Some mil think they can decide what happens when a baby is born and you do what suits them. The reality is the you, your husband and baby will be a new family and it you decision to do what suits you and them not your mil.

Massive red flag there OP. Have your DP some very firm boundaries right now.

Perfect response!

Seems using "ebf" was wrong. What I meant was I bf exclusively when it's just me.

Tell her to fuck right off.

This isn't what EBF means. You do not EBF. Your baby is combi fed. So, you BF, then sometimes baby is given formula by others.

That's absolutely fine as that's what you want to do, but it's not EBF. The OP has made it clear that she does want to EBF, so suggesting she combi feed or introduced a bottle like you do is unhelpful. Again, that's fine if it works for you, but many women do want to EBF and carry out the feeding themselves, as is biologically normal for the mother to do. Others can help mum in other ways, such as winding, changing etc, while mum has a shower or some hot food.

I have a 4 month old and I ebf when it's me feeding. I have formula for my mum to use when she looks after dc when I am out with toddler or shopping, etc.
I haven't had success pumping enough milk to use, but it's also good because there have been a few emergencies where I have been away unexpectedly so formula was needed anyway and luckily baby is used to taking a bottle of formula.

Something to think about.
You could also try pumping milk for your partner to feed baby or anyone else as needed. I agree with pp: if you desperately need sleep it's nice if someone trusted can come by and sit with baby for a couple hours so you can shower, wash you hair, shave your legs (ha ha) and get into bed for a couple hours.

EBF or not you can chose who feeds your baby.
Mine were mixed due to low supply and I wanted only me and DH to feed them untill 6m and starting solids.
Obviously MIL was dramatic over it but learned to live.
I am surprised how many people think unless baby is physically attached to you mum cannot make decisions for it.

She can fuck off.

You are the adult, the parent - you're going to have to assert that, possibly with your DH, too.

Do not follow the 'say nothing' / 'nod' / 'sorry ...' comments here.

Speak up.

Say no.

No apologies - just statements of fact.

Broken record assertiveness technique - repeating the same thing in the same tone of voice, not getting dragged into arguments.

'No. My baby is exclusively breast fed.'

Repeat as required.

Why do MILs DO this???

Tell her the baby is not her new dolly and you'll do what's best for your baby. Ff's.

You need to be firm. So does your husband. Successful breastfeeding is much easier with support.

for now, make it clear you are breastfeeding. If she continues with the formula lobbying, warn her once each visit, then ask her to leave on the second.

Massive no. Not one bit up to her!

She's being really rather horrendously selfish.

You are 100% within your rights to tell her to fuck right off, but I'm sure you know that.

I really hope you have what many Mumsnetters don't have, if the majority of MIL posts are anything to go by - a DH who is prepared to say no to their Mother! Although, in this case, DH has no say as to whether you breast feed or not, so do yourself a favour and show her you are more than prepared to put your foot down!

Set your stall out, OP!

Oh my, what a nerve she has to suggest this. I EBF both my children, up to the age of about 15 months. I must admit it was a bit of a personal goal to not use formula (I have nothing against it, but I wanted to EBF if I could). I must admit that before weaning, it was hard work, but I loved how convenient it was to leave the house without having to think about bottles/ wake in the night. It was such a lovely bonding time. I did eventually use the pump to collect milk which you can suggest can eventually be used to bottle feed (but not immediately).

Your MIL is being extremely unreasonable and only thinking about herself. Please do not listen to her.

Oh give over. She doesn't need to get baby used to a bottle/formula. Why can people never just support an EBF mum to EBF??

Don't ever leave her alone with the baby. Even if you go for a bath, she'll have a bottle in your baby's mouth in the blink of an eye. ALWAYS be there when she is there so she's never alone with baby. She'll be an overbearing nightmare of a MIL once your baby is born...the red flags are flying already with this one.

You stand strong on your EBF plans, don't let ANYONE interfere with that.

She sounds crazy op, set boundaries now and firmly, or you won’t know what she will expect next!

Say no sorry I'm breastfeeding